Originally posted by TheSparrowSings
Thankyou for sharing your experience with me. It helps me learn and gather ideas on how to embrace something that is innately what I am, rather than
run from it.
No problem, I have recently come to the same conclusion, that's why I share these types of experiences.
The only time I would ever express my true feelings when I was younger was through music, not writing my true emotions into the lyrics but by putting
all the pent up feelings of my own into the music. It was a nice way to focus on myself for a change.
Me too! When I was young, I would write the instrumental part with emotion, but the lyrical portion with my fake persona's mentality. Like, the
background music would be haunting and sad, but the lyrics would be completely silly or nonsensical.
I am a musician, sometimes.
Right now I am having trouble finding motivation and finding the heart to sing and play. I get discouraged from the
things going on in the world and then start to doubt myself because I do realize how insignificant "I" am. Which makes me sad, because I am just
learning who "I" am. I don't know how to explain it. I guess I'd better go write about it in my favorite thread that is specifically for whining,
though.
This is essentially what I have been doing, or trying to do, now when I feel overwhelmed. I have been trying to meditate like I used to when I was
younger but I find it nearly impossible to tune out. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I am pregnant, or in an apartment building, but I
feel constantly overwhelmed with the multitude of energies. Even when I am sitting alone, at 3 am, in front of my computer...
I was told once, by a stranger, that they felt something negative blocking me from accessing the whole of my ability. I have spent a long time
speculating on whether it is a self-inflicted negativity or something else... hopefully someday soon I will come to a conclusion on it.
Well, just don't forget to allow your emotions to resurface when you are able to find a peaceful or less energy-filled place.
I know exactly what you mean, it is very difficult to breathe and relax and separate/focus on one's own energy when it is being clawed at (I don't
know, this seems like an apt description to me) by the will and thoughts and energies of others.
As far as understanding that block, I think you already know what it is. You just haven't realized it yet. I find that when I actually let things go,
the answer comes of its own accord. Not always in the way I expect, though.
Hang in there! I highly recommend finding a park or deserted parking lot you can go to every day and just walk around and be away from too many
people and think. That's what I do.
Talking to your little one might help, too, even though s/he can only answer in abstract...
edit on
9/4/12 by ottobot because: (no reason given)
