Originally posted by TheSparrowSings
One thing I noticed, especially upon reviewing my past, is that quite often the people who where drawn to me where unable to distinguish what was
drawing them to me, mistaking it for love when really it was most likely an addiction to the way I enabled them to feel after they opened themselves
to me. Does that happen to any other empath's?
I've never thought about it like that before. But, you may be on to something with this.
That is definitely something I will think about.
For me, when I think about my past and people being "drawn to me", it seems more like they just wanted to be around me to say they were around me...
instead of actually wanting to be there at that time With Me. If that makes sense...
I really didn't know what to do with that kind of attention, so I would just make up stories that I thought other people would want to hear. Mostly
because I knew they wouldn't actually want to hear about my real problems and real pain. So, I just pretended to be carefree and happy.
listen to other people, but never actually say anything real or deep about myself.
I think, more than anything, people just want to be listened to. Listening is no longer considered an important skill. And, really, we who are
"empaths" can Listen, just in a different way.
I still find it uncomfortable when complete strangers feel compelled to open up to me on levels they claim they do not open to others. But
unfortunately I am unable to confront them, let them know how uncomfortable it makes me, because I fear that their negative response will overwhelm
me. I try to avoid conflict at all costs. Even on the internet, I do not like to argue, because I often sense the actual intention or anger behind the
words of those who argue with me. It can become too draining.
edit on 3/9/2012 by TheSparrowSings because: (no reason given)
Yes, it is disconcerting sometimes, when you think about it from an objective perspective. But, I enjoy listening to stories from elderly people and
children. It's just the stories from everyone else that bother me if I hear too many of them. I start to become apathetic and I stop caring about
people. I start thinking negatively, like,"Why are you so worried about your stupid t-shirt? Who cares if you've seen someone else wearing it? It's
just a shirt!" and then I start frowning and brooding and so on.
I used to be very non-confrontational. Like I said, I thought that my own feelings and personal boundaries didn't matter.
But, when you are uncomfortable, you NEED to stand up for yourself. That doesn't mean you have to be rude or angry. Just kindly interrupt and beg
pardon that you must leave or change the subject.
I like to debate but despise arguing. When I debate, I do listen to emotion and I can always tell when the logic is replaced with emotion, so just
steer away from the source of heat. Arguing, I pretty much just want to run away from. I used to just placate other people ("Yeah, ok, whatever.") so
they'd leave me alone. But, again, if I don't stand up for myself and my needs, nobody else will. So, I started to. I find that people really hate it
when they don't immediately get their way. Or, maybe it's just the people I know...
I shut off my emotions when I feel other people getting upset, and this is how I protect myself from becoming overwhelmed with the emotions of others.
This is my default defense mechanism.
Other people have suggested building a wall of thought to shield yourself from that outside energy. I have done this as well, usually for spirits
instead of actual living humans...
It is something that will take practice to learn and remember to do, but it would definitely be worth it in the long run.
I know what you mean about feeling amplified senses while pregnant. I think it is probably something built into us for heightened safety awareness -
survival of the baby is paramount, so we are hyper-aware of everything we are normally aware of, including the emotions of others. Just try to
remember this and find a way to seclude yourself and do some breathing exercises next time you feel overwhelmed.
edit on 9/3/12 by ottobot
because: (no reason given)