reply to post by Katharos62191
When I was younger some things happened to me that I don't even quite understand, I devoloped weird traits. When I was five they thought I had ADD
because I didn't focus, but later they would learn I didn't pay attention for different reasons. It's not so much I'm not paying attention, but
when I am alone I can quite often get lost in my mind. I just stare and if someone asks me something I will look to them and tell them about an
amazing dream I just had. I guess it's just really vivid day dreams, but I have what they call escapism. If I'm unhappy, or depressed I try to
remove myself from myself. Kind of a dissasociation. Anyways, sometimes I don't mention, it wasn't real, I day dreamed it. So when I tell you about
the daydream I was having fighting vikings, or talking to a dead guy. People think you're nuts.... Well, when I told my dr this. He didn't think it
was right. So I got put on medication, did counseling and they thought I was developing schizophrenia, But at such a young age !!!!! I know, this was
fixed later on. How ever then one night I got sleep paralysis, and outside my room I swear I saw this witchy looking shadow hang it's head out of my
attic. I flipped nutsack and started getting paranoid and wouldn't sleep. So wouldn't you know it, stronger medication. Eventually they had me so
god damn doped up I spent a lot of time in my own world in my head. Auto pilot, no emotions, little reaction. A pretty little blonde green eyed
android. So eventually as I got older I didn't want to take my medication. It hurt my stomach, and went you don't have emotions, or care what people
think pain is the only thing that does matter. Not, to mention it's hard to be uncomfortable when you don't have any one to distract you.
School was incredibly difficult. I was in my head, my body just moved but I didn't want to interact. So, one day I started not taking the meds. As
well, the old Dr. Braun was retiring, and I had a new doctor. A lady, who listened to me. I told her the meds hurt my stomach. I told her I couldn't
feel anything, that I didn't understand things, so people thought I was stupid, but I just couldn't be bothered. So she decided to re-evaluate me..
It was found that a bigggg mistake was made. Mostly on the part of my family, the dr and myself for explaining things as a child might....
As I get off the medication, start to make friends and see counselors it was found, that I'm just a little different. I have an " extremely vivid"
imagination. I saw, my wolves under my bed as a Kid. I pointed and said doggy... This freaked the hell out of my parents. Their vulnerable, cute boy
saw Dogs. What would a little kid confuse for Dogs with red eyes. Oh, maybe Rats. They ripped the room apart looking for them, but there weren't any.
I knew they were wolves, my wolves. My mom, said when she lived at home, as a teenager she saw this weird witchy thing in her attic at her mothers
house. When she hit 18 and graduated highschool she met my father, at a ripe 20 years old my mom had me, and in the hospital one night before I was
born. She got paralyzed, and this evil dark menacing shadow was at the end of the bed. It then climbed up on the bed and grabbed her leg, she snapped
upright in bed screaming for it to go away. The next night at midnight I was born.
As a teen, in highschool I had my regular woes, but my vivid dreams became lucid. I learned how to get into my own world. A world, where I was in
control. Later, I learned to go even deeper, and leave this world. Have out of body experiences at will. This was Amazing, and today I hone these
skills further with the Enochian meditation. Anyways, as I started " Traveling " I started become twisted, and distanced. I started to resent my
reality, I hated the world, and I felt unsatisfied with my body. So I started building my own worlds in my lucid dreams, and searching for something
better in the astral. I spent my time cursing the world, hating this living prison, when there was all this wonderful universe, and different realms
to be explored. My negativity, started to attract dark things. Truly, evil nasty things. I would have sleep paralysis and see these dark menacing
beings that would watch me. They would just stand there and watch me. The scary part was, sometimes I would fight it, and they would come and I would
awake and try to get up to confront them, or throw my phone or glasses of water from my nightstand. I'd wake up and the door would be open.
Now this should be terrifying on it's on, but I can't help myself. I have to know why they are here. What they want, why are they looking at me...
So Genius, rebelious Ilyich. 19 and master of his many worlds. I decide to start communicating with them. I start with my girlfriend, we play with a
ouiji board. Nothing fantastical, but it starts me craving more..
out of room. P#1