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I am just a girl..

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posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:00 PM
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reply to post by Ilyich
 


ilyich,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and to write such a well written response to me. I am flattered you took the time to learn about me! And I thank you for it! I do believe I have experienced quite a bit at a young age, which to be wise as I wish, trails are a must. So I am thankful for everything I have experienced, even the bad.

I also am happy you took the time to relate your story to mine. What I find to be insane if anything, (not us) but being wrongly diagnosed and prescribed for so long. Sometimes I used to literally feel anger towards the doctors who put me on these medications I was on, making me a zombie to the point I forgot days, to weeks to years. But then I realize it was a learning process and not to hold a grudge over it. But I will say with my full heart and opinion, I believe people are wrongly misdiagnosed every day, and then not treated well or taken seriously what so ever afterwards, when in all reality the person you just called a nutball could possibly surpass the accuser light years in knowledge or just be a good person in general who is over looked to the title, Schizo.
I admire the fact you are so strong, and are no longer diagnosed. I am happy I am not alone and have a fellow with a similar story to share with.

Also, a women from my work was trying to explain to me Chi, however I had an angry customer over a Tuxedo predicament and I will be honest I didn't listen to a word she said. & Now I regret not taking a second to listen to her!
I do believe I have the power to heal with my hands ,and have much I have not even learned yet. Also I do not doubt what you're saying about causing some of my own sicknesses as well. Because to be honest, healing and helping friends has induced huge headaches/migraines and fever type symptoms on me in the past.
If I want to learn and further my abilities I need to learn more in general especially about things like ridding myself of the negative energies. Which I try to do in meditation sometimes, but it does not always work. Also lately I've barely had time to meditate and do so.
If you do not mind I would like to inquire more about you and your Mother. I would love to learn how she came about her ways and how she used them today, and would honestly just like tips and facts from an expert on the fact anyways! I would love to speak to you or her and read more about her experiences and journey with Reiki!
I want to learn! Please do not feel hesitant at all to help further me in that aspect of my life!
That is why I am here on ATS, and this is another response I can chalk up to my thankful for bin. You really have made me feel good taking the time to read and respond and share with me.
I have a feeling there is a lot, lot more I could learn from you and your family about healing experiences.
Also just wanted to commend you again on how strong you are and were until your first doctor retired. It takes pure patience to come to peace with that and not want to punch someone in the face!




posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:05 PM
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reply to post by Dr Cosma
 


Dr Cosma,
Thank you for taking time to read my story and respond!
I know, I was frustrated I never got a response to that exact part of my question out of BoneZ!!
I have seen them, and still do, and am happy you seconded my statement!
I am still convinced.
Also I like your Avatar. Kind of reminds me of watching Zoro when I was young!

Thanks for taking time to stop by, read and respond! I do greatly appreciate it!



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:11 PM
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reply to post by Katharos62191
 


Another thing that brought me here an another an another an another an another...

Jeez! That was a book!.. I only made it past the dream part an wanted to say (before finishing that is)
is that almost everybody dreams crazy a$$ dreams that seem symbolic or seem to have SOME meaning
to them (which i'm just like you in the sense that I really want to believe there is a meaning an I want to find out what it is). But! I wanted to say that's cool that after seeing that other thread about getting people to open up,
you came here and posted your story. I just wanted to say those couple things, il be back later after I finish the
rest of the story, with another post (with an actual meaning next time hopefully
) probably.



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:20 PM
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reply to post by Imtor
 


Imitor,
You do not have to thank me for showing interest in you and your dreams, I thank you for presenting to me stories and dreams of interest. Thank yourself for being interesting, not me for being interested!


I agree with you dreams are more than worth research. I also have a gut feeling what you're saying is on the right track, as I have always in my own way believed dreaming has been a huge part and not fully understood yet capability of the human brain. Along with many others we have not come in-tune with yet. I believe we can use dreams like the ones we have, once we decipher what genre we believe them to be in, to our advantage. I believe people in the past did it, I also believe we are out of touch, and I forever long to get back in tough ,so to speak.

Also, I believe if you have already had dreams of cataclysmic events and nuclear types scenarios you most likely would have remembered them, and them have left a mark like you said! However, isn't it great, when we can wake ourselves up right before the worst part of our dream, like right before it happens too! I am sure you woke up relieved, dodging that one! Because I have felt pain in dreams before, I have literally been stabbed in the back, shot with assault rifles, and eating alive my zombies, all to wake up right before the worst, thank goodness! That is another reason I love dreaming and our own conscience, you have the power to control and wake up.

Adding onto what you were saying at the end as well...Your question, " Do we really possess more than we really know?" You can betcha buddy! I have always believed us to fully be aware of our powers and gifts yet, especially concluding to the fact we only use 10% of our brains.. to even fathom what we could accomplish or fulfill tapping into more of our crazy beautiful puzzles we call brains, is simply mindgasmic to me. Yes, I tend to make up my own words. LOL.

Your grandfather proved to you I believe that your question above has more to it than we know. I believe your grandpa, loving and concerned for you, had a premonition like dream about you. That is very odd, that he dreamt of something you kept solely to yourself. That helps further my opinions of premonition type dreams.

P.S. It gets old, when people rob you for scrap metal isn't it? We went through the biggest epidemic this last year of thieves, stripping metal from peoples yards, houses, cars, sheds. Not cool. Go pick up some cans instead of steal from some ones yard I say!



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:26 PM
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reply to post by Gawdlike
 


Gawdlike,
I do apologize for the opening novel! I did not realize how long it was until I was actually done writing it, ready to revise it. Even cutting out paragraphs and pages, I find it to still be very long. LOL.

However I do also believe many people believe they have wacky ass dreams with meanings. Which I do like to believe is true. This certain one you read, was actually more normal than my other dreams, it was just so distinct and I felt there is more meaning to it than to just not play on the lawn anymore. Hehe.
Thank you for at least taking the time to read my story and respond!
When you are finished reading, I hope you enjoyed it and can't wait to read any other opinions and advice.
However, no post in of no worth. All kind words offered to another I am thankful for.



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:39 PM
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Originally posted by Katharos62191
reply to post by Dr Cosma
 


Dr Cosma,
Thank you for taking time to read my story and respond!
I know, I was frustrated I never got a response to that exact part of my question out of BoneZ!!
I have seen them, and still do, and am happy you seconded my statement!
I am still convinced.
Also I like your Avatar. Kind of reminds me of watching Zoro when I was young!

Thanks for taking time to stop by, read and respond! I do greatly appreciate it!


I seconded your statement because whatever it is, I've seen it and what's right is right.
I'm glad you like my avatar

But I do change a lot my avatars. I might keep this one, I also have fond memories from my child hood, heheh.
Take care matey.

Z





edit on 13-3-2012 by Dr Cosma because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:40 PM
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Originally posted by Katharos62191
reply to post by jvm222
 



"People think I am quiet because I am shy, but really I've been silently judging them from afar, determining they're all idiots."



I can relate to that quite a bit. The great thing about that is for myself being able to understand how they got to that projection of themselves at that point in time. I really kick myself not wanting to pursue a degree in psychology and sociology but i feel i have a bigger purpose. Nothing feels more beneficial to me than helping another understand themselves or in general, helping one heal. I have studied and practiced hands on healing and how energy is perceived in eastern religions and it fascinates me. The breathing techniques and visualizations to harness the chi energy always makes me feel golden. It also helps being able to see the auras of myself and others that have lead me to truly believe there is more to normal perception.

I remember one time i woke up from a dream, still being in a half dream state and seeing beautiful mandalas on the walls and seeing green vortexes shoot out from the middle of my hands. This was during the time i was heavily practicing hands on healing and seeing these things helped me understand more so how these things work.

One profound experience i've had, which in others eyes might be quite common to understand is an experience in which i was standing in front of the mirror and i was feeling all this energy flow through my body and all of a sudden i felt what is like an explosion at the top of my head. What came after was the entire room being filled with this bright golden and green energy surrounding me and the understanding that other peoples judgements or beliefs were just their opinions and as long as i didn't let myself succumb to their negativity they could not affect me. This was a big deal for myself as for such a long time in my life i always let the negativity from others persuade my own thoughts and feelings of myself and how i view who I AM. I realized that i am the only one who truly knows who i am within and i released all this negativity from childhood which was greatly holding back my will power and true understanding of myself. Before this experience i always questioned my intelligence and thought i was an idiot because of what the person who traumatized me from a young age said to me at such a vulnerable state.

Learning is great. Being empathetic and being able to pick up on other peoples feelings can be great in a good environment, but is a curse in a chaotic one.

Thanks for responding. You seem to have a lot to share, as do i. It seems to be a lot easier for my to express myself this way, especially when i feel the person reading understands and has experienced many things.



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:56 PM
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reply to post by Katharos62191
 



I didn't quite read the whole thing because I don't have time, but my cousin suffered the SAME symptoms. She was also 19.

I believe it came down to vaccines, in particular the ones they give to young women(HPV I think), have you ever had vaccines?
edit on 3/13/2012 by SSDDay because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 02:59 PM
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I haven't read all six pages as I'm running out of time here.
I have had some trouble with sleep paralysis and though there is a scientific explanation, I think there must be a spiritual aspect to it. I tend to experience this when I change my focus back to not just reading the bible but praying everyday. I sometimes go off for weeks, so tied up in work that I don't pray and the funny things don't happen at night. Like something out there is not happy with it. But they wont win, I wont allow it. Now it's time to bring this to a permanent end.



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:07 PM
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reply to post by Katharos62191
 

Do you ever have those dreams where you are just talking to some random person but they somehow make you feel more loved than anything or anyone in your "real" life ever has?
edit on 13-3-2012 by elliotmtl because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:14 PM
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reply to post by jvm222
 


jvm222,
I thought you might like that, once I read a little about you. Good quote, isn't it?

I extremely admire the fact you care enough to want to help further peoples opinions and ideas learning about themselves and why they are the way they are. Someone who literally takes the time to care for and study others around them, surely is very humbling to say the least.
Usually we are all on this journey to find and define our own path, and to cross paths with someone who wants to learn and pursue others makes me very happy. I do often find it hard to find people to give 2 cents about the ones around them, especially the 'special' types you actually take time to learn about that any one else would over look. I do feel you are a true empathetic. You obviously care for more than just yourself is what I am trying to say, and I respect the # out of it. That does not come around, everyday.

Also I do believe that maybe you did not pursue those careers because you have a bigger better purpose, to use your love for knowledge of studying people. I believe you are going to use it for reasons better than the ways you could have majored in school wise. I feel like, you have this attribute, this ability that you can use it in a better way to help people and guide them where they need to go. And to decipher all the steps, or whys and why nots in the middle of it. I believe when we take our path it is for a meaning and reason, and I think you have a bigger plan, than a degree.


Might I add, what a COOL thing to see! I do and say things in the state of being half awake and half asleep that baffle the hell out of me later. I however would have loved to see green vortex like things coming out of your healing hands. I believe even though I would never be able to optically perceive what you saw in your hands, I believe I would still be able to fully feel the energy. You are very interesting.
What I do admire also, have to mention this. Is your little epiphany type moment, when all your energy rushed towards your head and embraced the room with you. The thoughts you perceived and were coming into understanding, are some of the things I have to tell myself everyday, that actually have helped me durastically this past year. That the fact is, every ones opinion and view is their own. I have my own. And no one really knows me or who I am and to not let anything effect me, because like you said it is just their opinion. What is one thought, compared to my whole being? I admire what you wrote and came to terms with there. It is sort a part of my personal philosophy. So I will be honest with you it has struck a chord with me. I continue to tell myself those things, it makes me a happier lighter person.

Also Im getting the vibe your color is green? Or once upon a time it was. I see you mention it more than once. About a year about when I started to see the light out lining everyone and things, from trees to birds to people. I wondered how fascinating it is I can see these beings white lights around them, or just the fact I saw energy resonating from people was astonishing to me. Fortunately, a very special friend, I like to call Maggie, had already been awake and living, seeing people auros and colors all the time. Only for her to tell me at a very odd timing in my life, out of no where she states she could see me putting off the color purple, then later that month transitioning to a yellow, which mixed made a kind of odd color to her. I find it fascinating, and women I only met by fate, could actually see these auros on people. Now I do no know what my colors meant, for I was at an odd point in life, learning and what not. But for her to out of no where tell me one day, you are glowing purple! To soon put off other colors she could decipher, and for you to put off greens and other colors, is very very cool to me. I can not wait to learn more about this subject and hear more of your experiences.

P.S. I think your Mother passed down some of her wiseness and abilities to you.



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:25 PM
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reply to post by SSDDay
 


SSDDay,
Thank you for reading what you could while you were here!
I will however tell you I was given a guardasil vaccine shot with out consent when I was younger at the gyno office. It was sort of, mandatory. Although, it literally did nothing. Kind of funny they gave me a shot to prevent something I believe I already had. Right? I was young, now I realize I could have said no. The only reason I was confused after the fact is.. I had already been diagnosed with a mild form of dysplasia at the time. And after researching the shot more thoroughly I read there is literally no reason to get a shot after the fact, because it honestly does nothing but prevent. (So what others reasons could were there to give me the shot)
But another thing is , since that vaccine, my mother and father have forbade, and not aloud me, nor my twin to be a be a part of ANY vaccines they provide notion wide. From Walgreens to Doctors Offices. H1N1, nothing. We do not want a part of it. Did you ever hear about that young, very pretty cheerleader who literally walks backwards now and is so confused she can barely understand herself? Just from getting a vaccine? It was horrible. Don't need anything like that happening here!
Thanks for taking time to read what you could!



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:31 PM
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reply to post by Divinefavor
 


Divinefavor,
I do thank you for reading what you can, because I do realize it is a long story!
However, I do believe there is a scientific aspect of sleep paralysis.. REM, NREM, cycles and the brain.
But I also strongly believe in the spiritual aspect side. I will tell you I am familiar with how you feel about, the fact whatever you have, does not like when you pray. Matter of fact, gets angry when you do. I have experienced things that want to hear or see nothing of the sort. Please do stay strong and do not let it win!
You are smart to recognize the situation! I believe if I were an entity, I'd probably get pretty jealous when you prayed too! Just kidding, but seriously. I thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my matter.
I believe you are close to coming into understand with yours and how to stop it.
I am here to listen and offer any sort of support, I am thankful I have found another who is experienced these things as well.
Thank you for sharing with me Divinefavor! Stay Strong!



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:38 PM
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reply to post by elliotmtl
 


elliotmt,
I am so happy you posted this question! To be honest with you, YES! I have had many dreams like that! One I had recently left me baffled. I was dreaming of a young man I have never met, not seen before. Unless my mind picked his face from a crowd long ago I do not know. But besides that, back to the point. I had a dream of literally overwhelming love and connection, it was so much I was literally as close as you could sit to someone in your dreams. And I do also believe at the end of my dream before waking I felt such uncontrollable love, and being loved, I tried to kiss him. Then woke up. I do not remember what we spoke about or what went on in my dream, if words were even used. Because the feeling I felt in this dream with this being was so great I didn't need to converse. I woke up thinking, "Who in the world was that?!" I sure as heck felt love and uncontrollable feelings towards him. He was not attractive, not ugly. Nor did any of that matter.. Because it was a different kind of feeling of connection if that makes sense.
It almost leads me to believe that whoever it really was, in the disguise of this young man. Has some sort of extremely deep connection with me, no matter if its an ancestor, or guardian angel type deal, I do not know. But I do know you don't just feel those things upon random. I believe those feelings and connections are already there for a reason, just have to find out where that one went.

Thanks for posting your question, and taking time to stop by!



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:40 PM
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Interesting posts and introduction.

I can relate with vivid clarity to your experiences with sleep paralysis (night terrors), shadowy figures that like to do obnoxious things late in the night, experiences with UFO's and some small bluish skinned dwarf looking creatures in ragged hooded clothing etc etc. I can also relate to a dislike of drugs and alcohol due to a disposition which makes me feel uncomfortable and unstable if drunk or high.

Welcome to ATS. Please ignore the trolls who try to pass themselves off as honest "debunkers", most notably Phage, ChadWickus, and more, plus their numerous hanger-ons, who ignorantly nod their heads when presented with too-simplistic explanations, likely out of fear of a shift in their tiny comfortable paradigm.
edit on 13-3-2012 by yourignoranceisbliss because: (no reason given)

edit on 13-3-2012 by yourignoranceisbliss because: formatting



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:49 PM
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reply to post by Katharos62191
 


Yes, I have dreams of that exact style you described, every so often, maybe one night every 2-4 months, and most of the rest of my dreams are nightmares. I suffer from some kind of depression-like mental disorder (never been diagnosed because I was raised to mistrust doctors and psychology) and whenever I have one of those "love dreams" I feel unusually happy and hopeful for the whole next couple of days, until the feeling of the dream stops echoing around inside me. I always wish I knew how to have those kinds of dreams all the time, rather than nightmares. I'm a very analytical person and yet I can't see any kind of pattern for why they happen. Maybe it means I'm here to learn how to bring that love into this world, and the dreams are a reminder for when I get too far off track in my "life mission"...but if so, I'm probably mostly failing that mission because I never feel that way in real life....


edit on 13-3-2012 by elliotmtl because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:53 PM
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reply to post by yourignoranceisbliss
 


yourignoranceisbliss,
Thank you for stopping by and your kinds words of advice. I will stay weary and clear of such people and trolls. I am thankful you gave me that little tip because those are the things I need to know as a newbie!
I have watched one of the ones you name constantly down an idea on a thread I was quite interested in. So I do not doubt you whatsoever. I thank you, for the tips and for the time you took to stop by and post back to me.

It is interesting you are familiar with my experiences of night terror type incidences! What caught my eye with yours though, which I just drew so vividly in my head when you wrote it, were the little ugly bluish men in ripped and raged garments, cloak type apparel. I would love to hear more about your experiences with beings like this! That is very interesting to say the least!
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to me! Do come back and chat if you ever feel like telling me your experiences as well! I will check out your page!



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 03:56 PM
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Originally posted by Katharos62191
reply to post by jvm222
 



Also Im getting the vibe your color is green? Or once upon a time it was.


I can remember being a young child, the color green always stood out to me. It was my favorite color and always has been. As I started learning more about energy, chakras and having the ability to see auras i always noticed mine was green, as well as another friend of mine who could see them but also saw various colors pop in and out depending on what i was doing or my moods. I have took that to heart as to have the ability to heal, harmonize and balance what is around me through love and understanding. I always find peace in nature and have realized it is a great place to ground yourself and heal. Being barefoot in the grass and releasing all the negativity from you and bringing in natures harmonious energy is what i visualize.

Damn, it's time for me to go make dinner for everyone. We'll talk later for sure. You have a gentle soul and a big heart and the energy you give off is wonderful.



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 04:05 PM
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reply to post by elliotmtl
 


elliotmt,
I am a good reason and example of why you were taught to never trust doctors or physcs. You should not. You should only trust people you genuinely trust, not just because they have an M.D.

Also, this may sound weird, but.. When I was younger, I had many a nightmares too, actually still do. I know we all do. But it got to the point I would be scared to go to sleep, and yet being a young girl who loves to sleep and dream, I had to fix it. I was so young the things Im about to tell you may sound silly but I would literally lay in bed before sleep and think of myself and my gals playing basketball. (favorite sport of my life) But I would lay there, eyes shut thinking about me busting up the court for a steal and a lay up, only to find myself fall asleep to wake up with the best memories of dreams of winning games, championships etc. But it actually worked. I also used techniques of thinking of myself dancing ballet as I used to, with soft tones music and delicate features of women around me.
That also helped me. It got to the point, I could just think about what I wanted to before bed to avoid a nightmare, and if I kept to it. I would end up having a great dream, that I desired.
Also did you ever think maybe that love that entity shows to you only sometimes is there to comfort you as well after those night mares? I have a feeling whatever that is that you feel that connection with would rather you dream sweetly of it instead of scary dreams.
Do you have any things or activities that you do that put you in place and at home, grounded?
Anything you could think of before falling asleep, that might create a peaceful dream?
Try thinking about who you want to see in your dream, and maybe try and channel to that being that you want to share a dream with it tonight.
Also a nice ATS member posted to me a few pages back, that great diet and good foods can change you sleep pattern and help get rid of those nasty dreams. Do you enjoy veggies and fruits? They would help as well, I believe! No harm in trying it all!
Thanks for sharing.. I however, personally do not want you to have scary night mares as frequently as you do. If you do not mind, I am going to try and help you find a way to change you sleep and dream patterns into desirable ones.

Thanks for stopping by



posted on Mar, 13 2012 @ 04:11 PM
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reply to post by jvm222
 


jvm222,
I do like to hear how all of your happening from a child, to your older self all ties together. That is like me too. Oh and Hey, Nature is Green, as well


Nothing sounds better than bare feet in the grass right now, I think you may have just caused me to log off and go play outside! lol!


I hope one day to be as well rounded, and grounded as you. (not intended to rhyme) You seem very sure in yourself from your healing abilities, to how you control you energy. I am quite enthrawled with you as a person.
Can not wait to chat more!
You better get to cookin' dinner before someone has your arse!

I will be here to chit chat when all bellies are full!



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