posted on Mar, 17 2012 @ 11:44 AM
reply to post by mikem
The Philokalia is advice of monks for other monks, so probably you are right that it isn't too useful in this case.
What made me think I had a demon was a feeling that I was gradually losing my free will. I suppose it might reach a point where people no longer have
the free will to get help for themselves - at least that's the way it seems in stories. That's why the policy of appeasing a demon by doing what it
wants might not be so great in the long run.
What you brought up about feeling uncomfortable (burning) in church is interesting. When I first tried attending church I refused to kiss the icon
and the cross at the end of the service like everyone else. I couldn't decide if I
didn't want to kiss those things or if
didn't want to. It bugged me. Sometimes I would wake up and it seemed like the most cruel voice you could imagine was
talking to me in my sleep. I didn't mention my concerns to anybody, because I was an atheist and didn't believe in demons.
Eventually I decided to try to go to church even though I was an atheist, because I didn't like the idea of something taking over my life. Then it
seemed like all kinds of weird things started happening - sort of like the devil saying "where do you think you're going, buddy?"
For several weeks I felt extremely uncomfortable in church. It would smell awful in there where I almost couldn't stand it. Then I also would start
sweating and feeling like I wanted to vomit or pass-out during church. It always happened just prior to communion, but I would tough it out and make
myself go up there and take communion. Eventually it went away.
I don't know what to think about it all. I sensed that something didn't want me to go to church, so that made me think there was some purpose for me
going to church. But in church it was like: "here I am, God, what now?" and nobody answered. It was very frustrating and that's why I gave up after
a couple of years.
edit on 17-3-2012 by cloudyday because: (no reason given)