Originally posted by watchitburn
I find it disturbing you identify your self as some ones girlfriend instead of by your own personality.
For all intents and purposes you are saying " Hi, I'm Bob's towel". By projecting yourself as such you cheapen your ideas as just being a reflections
of your boyfriends.
I know I said I was leaving, and I did, and I will again after this... but ah...I can't resist this particular post.
To this I would say, I would shout, I may: if you only knew
This is a woman who has not budged in the slightest in her hardline views despite repeated exposure to..well, me, and my hardline views. I've been
told before I can be very "persuasive" about my own views by those close to me. Deep down I know this means: "maybe if I just shut up and pretend to
agree with him quickly he'll stop ranting endlessly like a nutbar quicker that way. It's worth a try anyway."
But not with Sara, she always has the will to both engage with and overpower whatever I happen to say, without fail. And thus she's the one who wears
*me* into the ground. If I dare to get up on my high horse and start to pontificate, she'll out-pontificate the grand pontificator, and just to make a
point, when four AM rolls around and I'm dying to get a few simple ours of sleep she'll be quietly streaming whispered dialectics into my ear in a
sub-aural hypnotic murmer, and the content will be precise and original enought that I'll find myself wanting
to strain to listen and, sleep be
tossed to the wind. She has that effect. All the time. It's fantastc.
She is much, much more preceise and controlled about who she is than I could ever be, which means she has a more solid sense of self than I could ever
have. In the end sound and fury always signifies nothing while its the sharp, quiet, precise mind prevails. It's not that original of an insight and
I'd be nodding my head along with it too like "yeah, so what," but to see the woman embody this on a daily basis leaves me in awe. I am abashed in the
face of it, and nobody else but you can tye my tonge any time you feel like it, Sara. Your the first person ever to be able to do that to me. And so
effortlessly and gracefully too.
Sara's entire way of thinking, value system, aspirations, and perspective on realiyt is completely at odds from mine and the two are utterly, grandly,
hoplessley incompatible. But we both vibrate on the same frequency and that's what draws people like us to our conceptual opposites, again and again
because we both share the delicious sense of humor and "can we pull this thing of?f" nuttiness that seems to be peculiar to our personality type.
People like us never, not even once ever fail to find each other across even the widest imaginable gulfs.
Sara, know this: You are a far better person thanI deserve, I think we both know that. It is an absolute joy each day to see your strength of self and
so stainless and adamantine. I know, too, the fire that tempers you is the fire of my own foolish self burning, burning up into a total irredemibale
crisp for you. I don't care, I feed myself to the flames with nothing but joy.
And we also share that same unique type of uniunderstanding, again so strangely peculiar to...what? What are we? Peculiar to whatever the rare and
nameless personality type is we both share, that we both embody with all our beings. Whatever else people like us can be considered -.we can bear to
look calmly, flat and egyptian-eyed at something so many others turn away from with all their lifeforce. They call us damaged but we have that ability
and they always, always stand dowin in the face if it.
And its stronger in you of course. Not like either of us has to say it or its a big deal but just look at the quoted post above! How could I ignore a
gauntlet tossed on the ground so directly like that, right in the middle of the patch of sunlight that is you. Sunlight is always sunlight but I gotta
pick up the gauntlet cause I'm a guantlet picker upper and thats what I do. Repetition is a sign of dullness even if its recognized.
These things don't happen to sara, the sun shines impassively. And if we want to, We ALL shine on.
Godless socialism and
Unshakable Spiritual Faith will never admit of one another, but as lovers we peek
round the corners of those rigid walls and smile the same smile smile
to each other in the gloom.
Thank you for being in my life, sara
edit on 3/11/12 by silent thunder because: (no reason given)