I do not want to be an adult...and neither do you.

I felt this really needed its' own thread; it's something we seriously need to talk long and hard about. I'm also posting it in Social Issues because it's also about another reason why I think Occupy are the way they are, as well as the socialism/communism thing.

This was not an easy thing for me to come to terms with, about myself; but I've had to really look at it. I want to talk about it with the rest of you, partly because I'm guessing that a lot of you are also in the same boat...and also because I'm really not sure what to do. I can't stop wanting what I describe below; even though I know it is killing all of us.

Originally posted by Kali74
Well, as far predictions go there's none more foolproof than predicting oppression will be resisted.

I agree; I just don't think that getting into street fights with police (as another point) is the way to go about it. Although I currently need to go back, when I was recently living somewhere else, I was starting to engage in gardening with a group of people, who also had close to a cashless way of life.

That, however, is the problem. I know what the right thing to do is. I just don't want to do it, because I enjoy being in a scenario where I don't have to assume personal responsibility. That's why I came back here to live with my mother.

I don't want to have to work or socialise with other people, even if it is something like gardening. I want to be able to live alone, and stay up all night, and sleep all day, and talk rubbish on this forum with people on another continent who don't care about me or me about them, and play Minecraft, and watch YouTube, and eat fast food; even if I know it is bad for me; even if I know that I should still be where I was. In a rural environment, where I'm not on a computer much at all, where I'm engaging with other people face to face, and where I'm eating non-processed food that comes out of the ground. I do not want to have to cook for myself, or do my own laundry, or any of it.

I do not want to have to be an adult; and neither do most of the rest of us. We want the government and the corporations to be responsible for us. I'm guessing that a lot of people in Occupy, if they were really honest with themselves, are more angry with the government and corporations because said corporations are demonstrating by their actions, that they are not willing to be good parents.

It's not the scandals or the bailouts, in and of themselves. It's not the corporate executives being lying, amoral, insectoid, bean counting scum. They've always been that, and we know it; that is nothing new. What we're really angry about now, is the fact that they are no longer willing (or able) to bear our responsibility.

That we can't just be overgrown infants who sit in front of the television and/or computer all the time, shovelling junk food into our mouths and forgetting about everything else that exists. That is what I want to do...but because the corporations are busy destroying the economic and logistical infrastructure which I relied on in order to be able to do that, I no longer can. I don't know how to deal with that yet, and I'm running out of time.

I could quote a bunch of meaningless platitudes in response, but I'll skip that for now.

Your description of your ideal world concerns me. You prefer to be alone, with online conversations your primary interactions with others. Have you considered you might be suffering from depression or anxiety? Touchy subject, I know.

I've dealt with depression my entire adult life. Several of your stated desires echo my own experiences. Perhaps you should make an appointment with your doctor.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? In my early twenties I felt the same way about growing up. Moving into my thirties and still feel like a teenager. I don't know if that feeling every goes away.

Best wishes on your journey.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
I could quote a bunch of meaningless platitudes in response, but I'll skip that for now.

Your description of your ideal world concerns me. You prefer to be alone, with online conversations your primary interactions with others. Have you considered you might be suffering from depression or anxiety? Touchy subject, I know.

I think depression or anxiety, as terms, are oversimplifications to a degree; although I'm not criticising you for that. I find positive interaction with other people to generally be difficult. It isn't so much agoraphobia, as it is the feeling that to a large extent I can't be myself, and have it work out. Social interaction seems to be something of a skill, and I'm not particularly good at it. I find trying to be, frustrating, and very tiring.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? In my early twenties I felt the same way about growing up. Moving into my thirties and still feel like a teenager. I don't know if that feeling every goes away.

I turned 35 last month. Too old to be feeling like this, in order words.

Best wishes on your journey.

Thank you. *hugs*

reply to post by smyleegrl


Most everyone feels the need to escape from problems that cause them anxiety
The only true course is to face up to the problems that cause ones grief
Most however lay the blame on others for their own problems
Yet if we find ourselves stressed out - why cause ourselves more stress.
Years ago I was up against a barrage of problems including some hired thug with a sawn off shot gun.
I disappeared to somewhere remote and took stock of my situation and was able then to deal with things better on my return.
Peace and quiet helps you are your own best advisor - indulging in junk food etc is merely a form of comfort yet the comfort we seek is peace of mind. It helps to find who you truly are inside and live who you are regardless of what others think

Originally posted by petrus4


That we can't just be overgrown infants who sit in front of the television and/or computer all the time, shovelling junk food into our mouths and forgetting about everything else that exists. That is what I want to do...but because the corporations are busy destroying the economic and logistical infrastructure which I relied on in order to be able to do that, I no longer can. I don't know how to deal with that yet, and I'm running out of time.

edit on 7-3-2012 by petrus4 because: (no reason given)

hmmm yes.. I have these thoughts too. I don't know that everyone is like this though. I have always wanted to be back younger than I was at every age I have been. I have a strong feeling that where ever I was before I was born, was blissful, and I miss that place. I had to do nothing and I was always safe. Maybe I remember (kindof) the whom? Or something before that?

I have been growing up more, and I can't say I like it per se, but you can't really do anything else. Nothing else can work in this world. I can't just sit here and wait for everything to come to me, it would be a waste of your time to bring it to me.

We need to take responsibility for our own lives. or live waiting to die i guess.

I'm 25, It would be nice to be 16 again.

I want to be an adult, and the irritation I feel when other people speak for me is an example that I do.

I wonder if you tire yourself trying to socialise because you want to or if it is because society compels you to. I dont like most people. They bore me. I suspect that they bore you too. I suspect that the thing that you find tiring is the pretending. I say why pretend? Im an introvert. I have one friend I visit occasionaly and I know an awesome girl that I see a bit. I dont have time to waste on other people. Apart from my family. You dont sound lonely. It sounds like you enjoy your solitude. So do I. I dont think you are depressed. You are just a heretic.

And I agree about the growing up part too. Peter Pan was on to something. If you are someone that does not define yourself by status and material gain it is very easy not to want to grow up. Plus what does that even mean? Grow up.

reply to post by petrus4


I'm 37. I have no idea how I got so old. Just yesterday I was graduating from high school!

I agree, depression and anxiety are very general terms. I think each person who battles depression does it in a different way. In other words, one person's experience may be completely different than someone else.

Perhaps you are simply an introvert. Nothing wrong with this, you understand. Introverts tend to prefer solitude over social events. That's a simplistic definition, but there you go. I'm an introvert. One way I cope with stress is to have "alone time.". Sometimes I'll go to a movie I want to see that my husband isn't interested in. Or I'll go to a nearby park with a good book. It's the peace in solitude that I crave. Perhaps you feel the same?

Never invalidate your feelings. Feelings are neither good or bad; they just are. Its hard, but give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, frustration, and despair that inevitably is part of life's journey. There's nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel! You simply need to learn how to experience those feelings, and learn to let them go. This takes work, but it helps in the long run.

Above all else, know that there are folks who care for you. I dont even know you're name, but I care. I'm sure there are many others in your life who feel the same.

One last suggestion before this post turns into a novel. If you are feeling lonely, perhaps consider volunteer work. Helping others helps yourself. And a furry four legged friend can do wonders too!

If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Just U2U me.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
reply to post by petrus4

 

Never invalidate your feelings. Feelings are neither good or bad; they just are. Its hard, but give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, frustration, and despair that inevitably is part of life's journey. There's nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel! You simply need to learn how to experience those feelings, and learn to let them go. This takes work, but it helps in the long run.

I think this is definitely a problem of mine. I spend too much of my time focused on how other people perhaps want me to live, when that isn't what I necessarily want at all.

I'm not a gardener. I prefer being on my computer. The only problem with that is, it's harder to get vegetables that don't have pesticides sprayed all over them, if I don't grow them myself. I wanted to live with some of the people who I was staying with, but I don't think they wanted to let me. I think I'm grieving that right now, and trying to figure out what to do next. It will come to me...you're right. It just takes time.

reply to post by petrus4


I would like to believe we are social animals and human interaction is extremely important to us. You can get human interaction on the internet, but it's not the same. Just as porn is not the same as real sex.

I can understand the desire to stay young and carefree, But taking on responsibilities is a part of life that can not be avoided, whether that be taking responsibility for yourself or maybe eventually a child of your own.

Remember you are a human being and the way many of us lead our lives is very unnatural and far removed from the humans who used to survive 1000's of years ago. We eat unnatural food, work in human constructed cities, with more sedentary lifestyles.

If I could offer you some advice it would be to get yourself involved in your community, maybe take a class in something, join a gym or volunteer to help at a charity, anything really that gets you meeting people.

If you are feeling down, staying in on your computer eating junk food will not make you feel better, it will just get worse. Lifes too short to be stuck away on your own behind a computer.

Wow, man. I hope I am wrong, but it sounds like you have some issues.

Not because you do not want to socialize, Not because you like computers or games or movies or staying up all night. All of those things sound like me, too.

The problem is in not addressing certain neccessities of life...ie food, sustainance, life, sanitation, just the basics of existance.

I live as far out in the country as I can. I have a very limited number of friends. I really don't call anyone except my folks and only sparingly. Frankly, I have a phone incase I hurt myself badly or the house catches on fire... no cell phone, no I-Pod, Blackberry, or anything else. I do have a computer. Alas, I am here ...

The joy and freedom of being an adult is you get to create your reality. You get to live the way you want to. Now that being said...there are ramifications, consequences, and rewards to each decision you make. That choice is yours.

You want to live in a rural area, little social interaction, like solitude... go for it. You wouldn't be the first.

You want to live a plain, simple, and meager lifestyle... go for it. However, be aware that few woman will follow suit. If you find such a woman, hang on to her... she's a keeper.

Also, food and sanitation are key to good health...duh. If you want to grow your own food... you will have to work for it. If you want to buy food to eat, you will have to work for it. If you want the government to feed you, then you will have to cow tow to them... if you want "friends" to feed you, you will be at their whims and abilities.

As an adult, I find it rewarding to provide for my self and my family. Kind of like a "real life Sim Farm"... with real consequences. I suggest you read the book about the young idealist that went into the wilds of Alaska and lived in a deserted bus...

Independent living makes you stronger, more able, more free, less dependent, an individual capable of free thought and free actions. No one wants to help or visit or think like you...OK, screw them. The governemnt wants to invade my privacy, my rights, my freedom...screw them.

I am in the process.. via computer, of researching the area I live in. I have found old roads and rail tressels that go back 150 years into the wilds and backwaters around my farm. I am hiking and exploring, in the process of cleaning up the old roads and rail cuts for ease of movement... and will build a cabin... a primitive cabin way back in the woods on what is now Corps of Engineer land... hidden and secluded. It may eventually be found, but since it is deep in the interior and not along the boundries they maintain every few years.. I think it will be awhile before it is found by anyone.

Point is.. you could do the same.. and live like you want. C'est la vie.

In the mean time, you may want to reconsider what you want out of life. Being your own person is really cool.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


Amen brother... or sister. I like solitude, but it is rewarding to build relationships in the community... on so many levels. Life is so much richer... and as much as I hate asking for help.. I mean I really am independent minded, sometimes I do need help. When your down or in need, a friend with a warm smile and a cup of coffee sure is nice. It helps if they have 4 wheel drive, a tool box, or a tractor too...LOL.

I'm still reading the thread. Interesting replies, and it's made me wonder whether some of the "truth movement," movies I've been watching recently, expressing the idea that most people are dependent, really were making an accurate statement or not. Maybe we're not that bad after all.

Nah I like being an adult, I can work, I am a proffesional, I get respect. I like respect. I also like to ride motorbikes, gamble, smoke get heavily drunk and go to strip clubs. And on the odd weekend when I have some spare cash I rent a super car for the weekend.

I like doing all these things.

Children can do none of these things [sort off]

So it pretty much sucks to be child.

Ultimatly I put myself into situations where I MUST be responsible for my actions, otherwise its going to be a very short life.

I like what already gone had to say.

Being true to you is fine, but you have responsibilities none the less. Having a community is rewarding, ATS is a community, so you at least socialize on some level, but nothing is better than a face to face friend, they may be hard to find, but keep trying to make friends if it matters to you.

There is a balance between solitude and social life, you got to find that balance for yourself.

As far as not wanting to grow up, I think most of us feel that way sometimes, but it is really rewarding when you do work hard and you see the fruits of your labor. At least it is for me.....

There is no one perfect ideal solution or idea to aspire to, except the one you create for yourself.....that is what I'd aim for if I were you.

S&F for the thought provoking discussion!

Some people never do "grow up". I am an example. Now, I am employed full time and have grown up responsibilities, but at heart, I am still very much a child. My best friend is my son who is ten years of age. My son does not yet grasp the hardships that we as adults face day to day. My son's concerns are minimal to say the least, i.e. "who's outside to play with", " is all my homework done", "what's for dinner", etc. The brevity of his concerns is refreshing.

Through the week I work long hours, wear a uniform,occasionally get yelled at, sit in endless traffic, all while a million "adult" thoughts race through my weary head. The weekend is mine. Old jeans, a pair of beat up tennis shoes, a fifteen year old worn out Metallica t-shirt that feels like second skin, and a ballcap. This is my weekend uniform.

My son and I will spend hours on end hiking the trails, discovering hideouts, conversing about video games, and chasing each other with dog poo on a stick. Then it's back home briefly, where Mom has made us a plate of corn dogs and frito's, topped off with an ice cold soda and ding dong for desert. After our lunch it's back at it till dusk until our return, dirtied and occasionally a little "dinged up". I still take baths.

I am still a child at heart and I see nothing wrong with that. Some people have forgotten the fond memories of their youth, as maturity and the 'task" of adult life have clouded those days. I know soon that my son will grow into an adult, so these days he and I will make meaningful. This is my last chance to relive my youth.

To the OP. Live life the way that you want to. Do not ever give in and conform to what society deems appropriate. You and you alone are the master of your ship. You are free to plot your own course however "odd" it may seem to others. If you wish to sail alone, then so be it. Solitude is your choice.

There is only one"voyage" that is life, and you are already well on it. In my sincerest hopes, may it be you find happiness, your meaning, and no regrets.

reply to post by theAmericanStory


Good stuff again, American story, especially the "poo on a stick" part! Crazy and gross as it sounds, I think doing stuff like that with your son, it what it is really all about. Some of my best memories of my dad was when we'd walk through the woods and he'd explain the difference between a oak and a poplar, or why the lichen grew on the trees....it doesn't take much to make a little kid happy, but it does take time and making sure you take time to share stuff with your kid, even "poo on a stick".....thanks for making me laugh!