posted on Mar, 2 2012 @ 03:24 AM
I've had alot of advice from my friends and family, and from her family, but I feel like I need it from people that don't know me or her, that see
us as just two people.
I'm still fairly young (19) and shes 18. We have been together for almost 4 years and it was both of our first real relationship. We have always had
some minor problems but who hasn't right? We live just under an hour away from each other which was hard at first but since I've been driving it got
Basically we had a big argument over New Years Eve. I was meant to go round there and ended up getting really stressed as a lot of arguing had gone on
at home and I felt drained, too drained to drive over to see her so I ended up letting her down. It hasn't been right since that.
We had another argument at the end of january and didn't talk for a couple of days. When we did start talking again she was coming out with silly
stuff saying she feels like shes holding me back and stuff like that. I chose to go to a university closer to home so I could stay with her and she
was talking about this.
I needed to know why she was saying this, and we know each others passwords for everything because we trust each other with them. I checked her
facebook to try and find answers, to see why she was saying this, maybe she was talking to her sister about it?
What I found was an on going conversation she was having with a work colleague. He is 28 and was going through a break up with his fiancee so I guess
they had common ground. But he started to tell her he wanted to be with her, that he wanted to kiss her. She told him not whilst she was with me but
it didn't seem that convincing. She deleted the conversation every couple of minutes just incase I did see it.
We talked about everything and I admitted what I had done. She admitted she enjoyed the attention because I wasn't giving her any but she said that
was it. I believed her and we made up over it. Things went great last month up until around the 17th (her sisters birthday, they all went out to a
club). She usually messages me when shes out and when she gets in but she didn't. I can accept that she was out with her sister and their friends and
probably just forgot which she said she did just forget. She tried to ring me when she got in but I was asleep by then.
Since then I have felt really distant from her. She barely texts or calls me, and when I talked to her on the phone at night she would complain she
was really tired and needed to go to bed so she could get up for work the next morning. She would also not want me to try to initiate anything
sexually during the week, claiming she was tired, however she would be willing to during the weekend. This all shocked me because she used to be very
needy, calling and texting me non stop, and we used to have a very healthy sex life, doing it at almost every opportunity we had.
I had tried talking to her about it but she blamed it all on the tiredness, it actually got me really upset because it was a complete turn around, she
just didn't feel like the same person at all. I was at hers last weekend, and it seemed like she couldn't wait for me to go home on sunday, even
saying oh I'm going to go to bed early tonight so can you go home early. I left around 9ish.
We didn't talk much on monday and tuesday during the day, just texting each other, and I think I spoke to her once, maybe twice on monday.
We both went out on tuesday night. I went to see a few DJ's with some friends at my uni(it's about 10 mins away so I drove) and she went to the pub
with a friend from when she was at school who she wanted to catch up with. We were texting each other up until around 10ish where I forgot to text her
back. She chose not to message me again so I messaged her around 12 saying that I hoped she had got home safe and that I would speak to her tomorrow.
I then text her again around half 2 when I got in as I was a little bit angry, just saying it would have been nice to speak to her before she went to
Here's where everything started. As I said we know each others passwords. I couldn't sleep tuesday night. Nothing made sense anymore as she felt
like a completely different person, she was acting out of character and I couldn't work out why, she wouldn't tell me and in the end I felt like I
had to find things out for myself.
So I checked her online billing for her mobile phone. I KNOW how bad that sounds. Believe me I feel so bad for doing it but I found something out.
There was a reoccurring number on her phone, she was texting it all day and even calling it, sometimes for hours on end up until times like 2am. This
had been going on since the 21st. She had no communication with this number when I was with her, and the number wasn't saved on her phone, neither
were the texts.
I texted her at around 4:30 in the morning on the wednesday asking her what was going on. She called me and was pretty angry saying she wasn't sure
if she wanted to be with me because of me waking her up like that. I had asked her why she didnt text or call me when she came in. She said she went
straight to bed, but her phone bill says otherwise. She had been texting this number up until around 1:30 am. She told me she got in around 11 and
just went to bed. In the end I appologised to her and we made up, I knew she was lying and just wanted to see if anything progressed, so I told her I
would come over on wednesday night after work and stay until friday morning (today). I met her at her friend's house and we were there up until
around 10:30. We went home and made up, even had sex. We slept next to each other and I felt like maybe I was over reacting about the number, maybe it
was a friend so I left it at that.
I dropped her to work the next morning and then went back to hers to try and get on with some coursework. Her mum was still in and hadn't left for
work yet. She asked me what was wrong with her, as she has been acting strange with her mum too lately. I told her I didn't know and wished I did
too. I then decided to ask her mum whether she had been acting different. Her mum told me she was never in when she got home from work, she finishes
at 4:30 and her her mum finishes at 5, saying that she was always going into town for some reason. She gets a lift from one of the guys she works
with, yet her mum said she had only seen her get dropped home once before when she had been home sick. I then asked her about the tuesday night and
her mum told me she had got in pretty late, that she was in bed asleep when she came in.
Again none of this made sense, so I checked her bill again to see if I could find out anything else. It sent a message to her email inbox where she
found out what I had done. She told me to get out of her house and bring her key to her office. I asked her about the number but she was just so
angry. I took her the key and asked her who it was. She claims it was her friends boyfriends phone, who her friend was using for some reason. This was
the same friend who she was supposed to be out with on tuesday night.
My family don't think shes telling the truth yet her sister does. She split up with me over me going behind her back and is now saying it's final,
there is no way we will ever get back together and that she needs to do whats best for her and that this is for the best.
I am completely broken. I want to believe her so badly, but it just doesn't make sense. I want us to be happy again but she seems set on it. What do