Irony: Boy who cried wolf too many times.

Am I the only one that thinks manhater's threads are just a bunch of bull?

If you think they are, then I will send my family your way. How's that? Then you can tell me, I am still full of it.

One day with these two and you will be admitting yourself into a mental hospital.

One day with those two and any SANE person would've thrown them out.I've read almost all your threads about them.And I've come to two conclusions.

1.You're just to nice and don't stand up for yourself.After all it is your house correct?They're living with you?
2.You've just made it all up.

I'm going with number 2.No way any normal person would deal with that #.

Originally posted by nightstalker78
One day with those two and any SANE person would've thrown them out.I've read almost all your threads about them.And I've come to two conclusions.

1.You're just to nice and don't stand up for yourself.After all it is your house correct?They're living with you?
2.You've just made it all up.

I'm going with number 2.No way any normal person would deal with that #.

Sad to say. It's #1. I can't break myself to do it. Not to my own blood. Sorry. I do wish someone would get the ball rolling to help this child. In some ways, she knows what she is doing is wrong, which is why they release her, and in some ways, she's in her little world that they never see her in. It would be nice for them to see that from her. But, they never do. Which is why, I am recording her everyday.

reply to post by Manhater

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As hard as it is...throw em out.Years ago my brother came and lived with me.He was a junkie and swore he was clean.I took him in.A few weeks later I started finding needles around my apartment.He was family but you know what? He wasn't my responsibilty.So I threw him out.Last I heard he was living in some run down house in Camden,NJ.

You're not obligated to someone because they're family.If everything you've posted is true then you need to get rid of BOTH of them.

If I get rid of them like you say, it's not going to help them. It will keep them on their path of destruction. I am trying, to show them, that someone does care for them, (If, I throw them out, it will be admitting that I do not care for either one, and I don't want that. That's why they act out the way they do) and there is no reason to live like they have been living for the past who knows what. I want to show them that there are better things. Neither one of them has seen that. And, this is a big change for the both of them. Yes, I have to take with a grain of salt. But, I am doing my part. I don't see why the state has to drag it on and make it worse. Since they are involved, let's help her. No, they are taking her claims as a grain of salt. Fine by me. Which I totally understand.

I don't want hear the complaints why you have to come out here every night then. Don't refuse service when I call you or my sister does.

If the state got off their a^^ and put her in a home, I wouldn't be here. But, no. They want to complain about what a mess my home is, the only reason it's a mess, is because of her. (Yep, I am sick and tired of cleaning up her messes, if she trips over it. Oh well. Everyday, even after you clean, it's a hurricane all over again or a tantrum if you move it.) Then they want to complain how smoky it is, yuh, I am aggravated, and yes I smoke, It's my house, I'll do what I want. It's not my fault you were called out here in the first place. Kid wants to do what she wants, and if she can't, to her it's child abuse.

I don't know many child abusers who would let a child call 911. But, whatever. Play your game.

reply to post by Manhater


Stop blaming the State. You and the childs mother are to blame here. (See what I mean about answers you may not want to hear?) Both of you concede to the childs wishes. And all the filming/taping of the child are not going to do you a lick of good if you are not willing to put it out there in a court of law. Consult a lawyer, He/She will tell you the same.

You basically are setting yourself up for failure if you don't take charge and back up what you say.

You are responsible for your current state of affairs. The family only provides a bit of side drama on the side. But that side drama may take you down with them...and you'll only have yourself to blame. No one else. That is life.

It's time to take care of you. If you can't accept that, then there is nothing anybody can do for you. You are allowing others to run your life for their end games.

reply to post by TDawgRex


Ugh, you just made my life worse. I can't see throwing my family out. Her child is too young.

Originally posted by Manhater
reply to post by TDawgRex

 

Ugh, you just made my life worse. I can't see throwing my family out. Her child is too young.

You know the saying? No one is too old or young to learn?

To be truthful, I feel no guilt as such is life concerning problematic family. I used to be one and have dealt with many others over the course of my life.

There is a way to show love and discipline at the same time, and it is a fine line to walk. For it to be successful, you have to show that you are not a person to be trifled with.

For example, a friend of yours who you love dearly has opposing political views, do you hold back? Or do you give it to them with both barrels telling them how much you disagree with them…and all the while remaining friends?

Apparently, you are the adult in this situation in your family, just by taking care of them. But you have lowered yourself emotionally to their level. Now it’s just a bunch of kids bickering…but with adult consequences.

Love for family does not triumph over reality. If you cannot get your sister to accept that she has an out of control child and that she is responsible. Then you will fall as well…HARD. And chances are they’ll blame you, for whatever reason. And then where will all three of you be? What will be the excuse then?

With good behavior comes more freedom and responsibility and with bad behavior comes punishment. It’s a vicious circle. But it is also the cycle of daily life.

Someone has to be the adult, and your sister has to learn to be the adult and parent. The kid will crumble against a united front, though there will be some uphill battles.

I want too, but it's hard too

She has problems. I am not going to throw this child out. Period. Even though she makes my life hell. She needs help. And, I will make sure of it, that she gets it; Nobody will else will. But it is exhausting.

Hi Manhater.

Joining in this thread having just read about the weather over your side of the pond and your comment.

As others have said, do not give up on education, how else will you be able to help others if you fail yourself...that way leads to more despair and lack of confidence, all of which you need to survive yourself.

If you leave, then what will happen? Your home will be taken over and run into the ground, meaning your sister etc will end up just where you do not want them to be, but when they are even more vulnerable.

Do not dwell on the actions or problems. Look for reasons and try to find ways around or alternative courses to take.

You need to take a strong stance, and enforce it. No giving in, If they do not like it, then they have the option to look after themselves away from you. Be confident, someone has to show the way and that someone is you. You have to take charge and control the situation, I am sure there are many on the ATS board who can give you ideas, but suspect you have to ask the questions.

I have little knowledge about US education nor mental health attitudes and help. In the UK there are respite care centres, that allow those caring for others to take a break. Is there something like that where you are?

Does not, where you are studying not have any suggestions/counselling help available. Not that you need any, but they may be able to give you some strategies to use.

I am a little unsure of how old you are, in one instance it seems under 20, yet at others seems just sub 40! How do your friends view your situation?

Take time to relax and listen to music, it soothes the savage breast, so I am told, and it probably does, I certainly calm down with some gentle Kraftwerk or Bruebeck. (But then I am old.)

I hope things change for the better and hope to see you later on here, some-place.

Take care and be aware there are many on here on your side, even if they do not seem so at first read.

Finally, remember that the Samaritans are just an email away and have an uncanny way of helping, even when they say "Do not panic".

Originally posted by Manhater
She has problems. I am not going to throw this child out. Period. Even though she makes my life hell. She needs help. And, I will make sure of it, that she gets it; Nobody will else will. But it is exhausting.

Then quit whining about it.Start standing up for yourself and do what needs to be done.Get her help now.Don't make excuses(like it's the states fault) just DO IT.

Originally posted by Manhater
I want too, but it's hard too

It's not hard to provide a united front, but if your sister is not willing to do so...then they are just using you. It may be time to accept that.

Two of my sisters always bring up how I was abused as a child...and I always tell them to shut up. It was a different time and a different place. And it was my life..not theirs.

I was a wild child and always pushed the boundaries. Started getting kicked out of the house at fourteen and it seemed to become a summer tradition. I enjoyed making my way through life and they enjoyed some peace and quiet. It was "Tough love."

I don't blame my folks in the slightest. They stayed true to their word and for that I have always respected them. There was no backing down. And I stayed true to mine...never been arrested and have retired before the age of fifty and did it all on my own. My Dad tried to apoligize recently and I wouldn't have any of it.

It is what it is and without him, I may have gone another route. I told him such. He unknownly taught me a lot.

Life has been a long row to hoe...but it has been worth it.

You're sitting at the beginning of your field to sow. It's up to you. Do you plant seeds that grow or wither on the vine?

As always, I wish you the best in your circumstances. Be strong.

I already got her the help she needs. Now, It's the waiting that we are waiting on. It's just taking forever.

reply to post by Manhater


Is it the help you hope she needs?

People are people, regardless of age.

I truly hope that she listens to the lessons of life and learns from the help and you and your family are healed.

reply to post by TDawgRex



you're barking up the wrong tree my friend.Her posts are b.s.

Originally posted by nightstalker78
reply to post by TDawgRex

 

you're barking up the wrong tree my friend.Her posts are b.s.

Quite possibly friend, but I do see similarities that have occurred during my life. And if others read what is going on here and see similarities as well and can learn from others past mistakes.

It's all good.

Like I told her. I'm a neutral third party. She can take what I say and apply it or not. It's her choice.

reply to post by nightstalker78


One of these days, I'm going to video tape this child's eyes. Then still tell me it's all BS. It's like looking into the abyss. She scares me some days, and some days she pretends she's an angel.

Originally posted by Manhater
reply to post by nightstalker78

 

One of these days, I'm going to video tape this child's eyes. Then still tell me it's all BS. It's like looking into the abyss. She scares me some days, and some days she pretends she's an angel.

What would taping her eyes accomplish? Me thinks it's this "OMG.look,this child is evil!!" thread.If she scares you throw her out.Stop complaining and do something about it.