posted on Mar, 1 2012 @ 08:21 PM
Here is a fun quiz to test your knowledge of Texas:
1, What phrase is NOT common in Texas?
A. I tell you whut
B. All hat and no cattle
C. Shiver me timbers
D. Low-down pole cat
E. I can't right now, I'm having a herpes flare-up
2. What is commonly thought of as the state beer of Texas?
B. Coors Lite
D. Lone Star
3. In what Church can you get a beer?
A. First Baptist
C. Cowboy Church
4. Driving which vehicle into a redneck bar parking lot will get your ass kicked?
A. A big gas-guzzling Chevy Suburban
B. An old Ford Crown Victoria
C. A big, stinking diesel Ford F-250 with a brush guard on the front
D. A tractor or riding lawnmower
E. A Toyota Prius
5. What does a true Texan do to their jeans?
A. Wear them 2 sizes too small, ensuring a muffin top
B. Rip holes in the knees to look scruffy and "cool"
C. Iron them with starch so there is a noticeable crease in the shin area
D. Make them into cutoffs for that "Daisy Duke" look
E. Run over them a few times with their truck to give them that "worn" look
6. Texas State Troopers wear cowboy hats as part of their uniform.
C. Most motorists don't look at them because they're rollin' dirty
7. What is the state flower of Texas?
B. Indian Paintbrush
C. Purple thistle
E. Cactus Blossom
F. Hemp flower
8 What is NOT an export of Texas?
D. Ron Paul
F. Free-thinking Liberalism
9 What cartoon best exemplifies Texas life?
A. Looney Tunes starring Yosemite Sam
B. The Simpsons
C. King of The Hill
D. Foghorn Leghorn
E. Spongebob Squarepants
10. What part of Texas is most likely to be hit by a tornado?
A. North Texas
B. Southeast Texas
C. West Texas
D. Central Texas
E. Anyplace that has a trailer park
11. What are most houses made of in Texas?
A. Wood siding
C. Tar paper
F. Slave labor
G. Fraudulent Adjustable-Rate Mortgages
12. Which best describes women in Texas?
A. Big hair and big mouths
B. Sweet, demure, and quiet
C. Not afraid to speak their minds and packs a pistol
D. Missing teeth and full of tattoos
E. Fat as a cow but makes a mean pecan pie
F. All of the above
13. Which best describes men in Texas?
A. Tall, lanky, polite and loves his mama
B. Vain, mean oilman a la Larry Hagman
C. Small, scrappy, and chews tobacco
D. Singing cowboy with rhinestones riding a horse than can count with his hoof
E. Beefy and rowdy, wearing camo pants and a wife-beater sleeveless shirt
F. All of the above
14. The German immigrants of central Texas and the Cherokee Indians have the only
unbroken treaty between the white man and the Indian, still observed to this day.
C. There are only Nazis that fled after WW 2 and went too far north
15. What is Tex-Mex?
A. A Texas Mexican-American
B. A big Texas steak served rare on a bed of refried beans
C. Mexican food with a unique Texas flair
D. Mexican food served by cowgirls with spurs
E. An illegal Mexican immigrant who swam the Rio Grande
16. What does Texas have more of than any other state?
A. Hot air
B. Oil wells
E. Undeserved bravado
G. Dust and tumbleweeds
17. What is the favorite hard liquor of the hard-drinking Texan?
A. Jack Daniels
B. Southern Comfort
C. Bathtub Gin
D. Wood alcohol, which accounts for so many blind guys
18. What have you learned from this fun quiz?
A. Not a damn thing, your time was wasted
B. Texas is a diverse, unique place
C. You now know you never want to visit it, not even on a lay-over flight
D. Your interest is piqued; you may want to check it out someday before you die
I will post the answers shortly.