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Bullies managed to destroy someone I greatly admire... :(

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posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 02:51 AM
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I know not even half of the people here will have the same music tastes as me, and I don't expect everyone to agree on which are the best musicians etc, that's not why I'm here.

I was browsing through Twitter today, and saw a tweet by a guy from a band I used to listen to years ago, Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy.
He kinda dropped off the face of the planet pretty much, I thought he had just taken a hiatus from the band to do some producing with other bands.

Turns out things were a little worse than I thought.

After taking time out from the band, he did do some producing and he went on to make his own solo project, he lost a tonne of weight, did things that would usually make someone extraordinarily happy. A somewhat bitter sweet duo of achievements.

But these quotes from his Tumblr post indicate all is not well.
Patrick had read an article written as a musical retrospective post, that had been forwarded from a friend, and I guess it gave him some food for though.



Fall Out Boy’s last album Folie A Deux was our most critically panned and audiences openly hated it (it was also our poorest selling major label album even if one adjusts for the changing music economy). Now, that’s not to say it didn’t have its fans, but at no other point in my professional career was I nearly booed off stages for playing new songs. Touring on Folie was like being the last act at the Vaudville show: We were rotten vegetable targets in Clandestine hoodies.

That experience really took the wind out of the band’s sails; It stopped being fun. I suppose I’m just not that thick skinned. So perhaps it was even more ill-advised when I went out and did something I’d always wanted to do; make my album and have it released by Island Records [my solo record Soul Punk].





What I wasn’t prepared for was the fervor of the hate from people who were ostensibly my own supporters (or at least supporters of something I had been part of). The barrage of “We liked you better fat,” the threatening letters to my home, the kids that paid for tickets to my solo shows to tell me how much I sucked without Fall Out Boy, that wasn’t something I suppose I was or ever will be ready for. That’s dedication. That’s real palpable anger. Add into that the economic risk I had taken [In short: I blew my nest egg on that record and touring in support of it] the hate really crushed me.





Still, there’s no amount of money in the world that makes one feel content with having no self respect. There’s no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.





I guess I’m just angry because he illuminates why I’m a 27 has-been. I’m a touring artist and I feel I’ve become incapable of touring anymore with any act…whether I were to go out as a solo artist or do some Fall Out Boy “Reunion” [nope: Still never broke up] or start a new band…there will still be 10-20 percent of the audience there to tell me how #ty whatever it is I’m doing is and how much better the thing I used to do was. Not only that, but that 10-20 percent combined with whatever notoriety Fall Out Boy used to have prevents me from having the ability to start over from the bottom again. I can’t even go back to playing basement shows.





I hate waking up every morning knowing I’m disappointing so many people.


These are really sad things to hear from someone I really admire, someone who is a talented musician.
And I CAN relate.
I used to be someone who lived the high life, and gave it up for the sake of becoming a mother. Something which I will never bring myself to regret, because it was the best choice I ever made.
However, I faced many draw backs.

I don't like to sound like I am bragging, because I don't generally like talking about myself in some "I'm so great" way.
But I was very popular. I had loads of friends, I knew loads of people, every time I'd go out, there would be no shortage of people to talk to, to drink with.
And as soon as I made that choice to come away from all that, people attempted to step in and take my place, but not before they shat on me, ensuring that no-one would ever talk to me again, but making me a subject to talk about for many years to come. Talk about a job well done. Some of those who even know the things that were said to be lies still refuse to talk to me now...

Anyway.
I know that people who choose to put themselves in a position to be successful, and become successful are leaving themselves open to criticism, and generally speaking, those who can't hack it are not cut out to be successful.
Having been a keen advocate of this mentality in the past, now I've read Patrick's account, I don't agree.
Not everyone has a thick skin. Some people are able to become accustomed and some aren't.

Shouldn't there be a line drawn though? I mean, going up to a guy, making comments on his personal appearance or his music?
"Hey dude, you used to be slim, why'd you get so fat?"
"Why did you lose weight?! We liked you better when you were fatter!"
"Those side burns make you look like a farmer"
"You are nothing without Fall Out Boy"
"You should just give up"

You wouldn't go up to a random unknown artist at a show and start ridiculing him. But to pay money to get a ticket for a show just to say horrible things to the artist? That's low.

This would probably qualify as a rant at the same time, it makes me angry. Musicians are people too, and they're probably more highly strung than the average person because they want people to enjoy what they do.
I don't think anything makes it ok to make anyone feel like they're worthless, that they should just disappear.




posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:12 AM
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reply to post by Lulzaroonie
 



there will still be 10-20 percent of the audience there to tell me how #ty whatever it is I’m doing is
Boo hoo... he should really stop looking at the glass as if it were half empty. No one is 100% perfect. He has much more than most people could ever dream of. I don't feel sorry for him at all.



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:17 AM
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He knew what he was getting himself into the minute he joined his first band.He gets no sympathy from me, but I wouldn't buy a ticket to his show either. He should be a man and take his lumps, otherwise he should find something else in life besides music.



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:17 AM
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You probably have a lot more than some people could ever aspire to have... does that give people the right to come up to you and talk # about you to your face?



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:25 AM
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Originally posted by Lulzaroonie
You probably have a lot more than some people could ever aspire to have... does that give people the right to come up to you and talk # about you to your face?
Whether they have the right to do that or not makes no difference, because it's going to happen whether I want it to or not. Some people are just aholes, they can't even justify their own actions. At least the vast majority of his fans still like him. 10 to 20 percentage is not that big of a percentage. He needs to stop looking at it like it's the end of the world, and instead focus on the 80 to 90% of his fans who still enjoy his work. When you focus on negative things you're life will be more negative. When you focus on positive things your life will be more positive.



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:30 AM
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reply to post by ChaoticOrder
 


I don't disagree. But even still, when you have a particularly large amount of fans, even 10% can still be more than a good couple of thousand, and that still hurts like hell.
There are ways to deal with it, it's not easy to just 'grow' a thick skin. Shrug it off, ignore it, come back with an insult just as bad...
My mum insulted Lemmy from Motorhead once (she told him his break stank). His response was to attempt to smash a bar stool over her head... lol



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:47 AM
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FANS???
I have several of many types.
I have 3 box fans.
My wife is a fan of mine.
And I have 2 dogs that know I'm a rock star!
I know because they give me a standing ovation every time I walk in the door.
Anything more than that, who cares?



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:49 AM
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No sympathy from me either...

Sure its never nice to hear that people dont like what your doing but it comes with the territory when your an artist. since he relies on people buying his albums and concert tickets to make a living maybe he should listen to what their saying instead of being a whiny little B**** about it.
If you can only handle praise maybe you should just perform for family, friend and groupies.

The guy needs to take a cement pill and harden the F*** up



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 03:55 AM
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If he can't handle people hating him then he definitely chose the wrong career.

And honestly he just sounds like he's sad because he's fallen out of the spotlight.



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 07:01 AM
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It can be soul crushing to be an artist and have your work publicly dressed down. I've been on both sides of it; getting articles and shows as a visual artist who when starting off could seemingly do no wrong and as a musician of limited talents but with a deep love for the medium. The first 3 art shows I ever entered I won a purchase award, 1st and a 2nd place. Years later my work was canned mercilessly until the gallery I was working for dropped me. It's very hard to go from the top to the bottom and it made me doubt everything about myself, inlcuding whether I wanted to live or not.
Playing music I have little talent for yet love so much I've heard about every negative comment you could imagine, including "that is the worst band I've ever heard in my life!"
But I still do it and I don't care who hates it because I'm having fun.
It seems like only in politics can one be either so universally loved or hated to the degree one will experience working in the arts.
Actors seem to suffer worse than anyone if you follow the riches to has-been stories.

You're right that we should take care to distinguish criticism of one's art as opposed to criticizing the person. It's part and parcel of arts scene and sadly I don't think it will ever change and I will tell you why - because very few people actually know enough about it to make real criticism of the art itself so people will always resort to petty name calling due to their inability to articulate intelligently on the artistic issues.
edit on 29-2-2012 by Asktheanimals because: corrections



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 07:33 AM
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I'm sorry that so many people seem to think that just because someone is in the spotlight, it makes them public property to humiliate and be rude to.



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 09:49 AM
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reply to post by Lulzaroonie
 


Sorry if I gave the impression I was condoning personal attacks, the only statement I read in the OP that was off was the part about his weight. I would have included a disclaimer that it wasnt cool but it was such a tiny part I didnt feel the need.

Everything else in your OP was about his work and he really does just sound like he cant hack criticism, he even points it out when he admits he isnt thick skinned.
If he wasnt such a mopey little girl who felt sorry for himself he would see the compliment in the fact people bought his tickets then insulted him when he didnt live up to their standards. It means these people once loved what he did and are disappointed (and Im guessing the people who did this are kids anyway, how old is this dude?)

I think alot of famous artists actors,painters,musicians etc etc let fame get to their heads and assume whatever they do the adoring public will always be there. Like many this guy found out thats not the case.

If he misses fame and fortune that much he should go back to the original formula, or if he just wants to perform for the sake of his art he should stop caring so much what other people think.
Only a very few people are lucky enough to have true full artistic license and still have fame and fortune, this guy obviously isnt one of them



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 12:44 PM
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I booed the at Buzz fest 17.

I didn't pay to see those guys lol they just happened to be there.



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 01:33 PM
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reply to post by Lulzaroonie
 


Why is he crying? EVERYBODY goes through this and if you're in a band that has such a small musical niche, then you should know that it's coming. Being overzealous and not admitting to the fact that their band was a passing trend kind of band. You don't see those clown shoes from blink 182 crying. i have to give them props for just going away. But they each did their own thing and didn't expect anything from anyone.

This guy seems like when his band was doing well he loved it and now that nobody cares, he can't take it. AND WHO the hell lets people get under their skin when you've worked so hard to lose weight AND accomplish it? I'd be like well "at least i did it" How he's barely coming across this criticism is beyond me. He should feel lucky that this is barely happening to him. PLus he should have known (by being a part of the industry) that his solo album was way past due and wasn't a good idea to invest so much in. ESpecially nowadays that you can make a grammy award winning album in your basement (like the Foo fighters) for very little money. Stop crying and suck it up. Not everyone is always gonna like you and kiss your a$$.

I'm just saying this cause I'm FAt and in a Band ( and i know what it's like always hoping everyone likes your music) but hey if you feel the music in your heart then you should be like "Their loss" and move on. no sense in wasting time crying. Do something about it. try taking a different approach to writing.....do SOMETHING. DOn't give up and rock yourself crying in the corner. (like all americans are programmed to do)

This like the occupy protest are part of the "my mommy told me i'm special" generation's long list of things to cry about. "Boo hoo too many people don't like me"....well you shouldn't be in the music industry exposing yourself to all these people. If you wanted everyone to like you then just play in the garage for mommy and daddy.

Sorry but i'm not just saying this as a "bully". I'm saying this from experience!
edit on 29-2-2012 by InfoRobinHood because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 01:42 PM
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reply to post by IkNOwSTuff
 


Thank YOu i love it when people post the same idea but through their brain! it makes me feel like everyone here understands each other ( and alot of us have never actually met! I Know people personally that don't understand me. I love the pic of your cat's ats tin foil hat!



posted on Feb, 29 2012 @ 02:36 PM
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Originally posted by Lulzaroonie
I'm sorry that so many people seem to think that just because someone is in the spotlight, it makes them public property to humiliate and be rude to.
Agreed, it's pretty pathetic to be honest..

He wasn't born a star or celebrity, he was just a normal lad who worked hard and made music, he's just the same as you and me inside. He's still a human being, he deserves respect even if you don't like his music or his personality.

The people throwing the stones are the weak ones, not the one taking the barrage and still standing.



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