WHY ME!!??

Well I need to vent about my life. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and any advice helps. Well I'm not trying to post this for pity, or to gain attention I'm just so lost in this world I dont even know where to start. As I posted before ATS is my home away from home. I can sit and read all day long it is my escape. For starters I'm 23 years of age. I was adopted into a family when I was born, had a pretty shotty experience as a kid. My life started spiraling out of control when I was 15. Running away from home, in and out of juvinial hall, living house to house. Through-out my teen years I had lived with many family's. So many wonderful mothers took me under there care and taught me different things. At the same time I was dating my 3rd love of my life (I know I was so young but spare me lol) I dated her from 15 to 18. When I was 18 my birth mothers sister contacted my girlfriend and I ended up meeting my birth mom. Wonderfull experience. Anyways my real grandmother desided to send me to college in Tempe, AZ. Collins college for film. I dropped out unfortinantly 6 months later do to my girlfriend cheating on me. I took it pretty hard and let it overcome my life(wich I know now was probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life) but I moved back to the desert (apple valley,ca) and this is where I have been since. At 19 years of age I Met my current girlfriend ( yes I am a lover I guess) I held a few part time jobs and had saved up enough to buy a Honda which I later turbod. Anyways I got into an accident and totaled it 38 days after I dumped all the money I had into it. What I did with the insurance money was even dumber. You don't wanna know. Anyways, fast forward a few years and I was still looking for my place in life. Seeing most of my really good friends go off to great places and jobs was depressing, it always got me down. With everything happening I tried to keep my head up high keeping that "everything happens for a reason" "think positive" mind set. Anyways tho at 22 I just about gave up, no car, no job, no money, no family for help, friends were useless druggies, and the only thing I did have was the girlfriend that treated me like I was a millionaire. Just when I thought everything was crap I found myself getting another car, good job, and my own place to live. In a blink of an eye tho I had lost everything. I got my car taken away by the "friend" who made a deal with me. Lost my job do to not having enough sales, and then my home. For the past 3 months I have been car-less, money-less, and if it wernt for a friend I havnt talked to in years I would be home-less. I still have a girlfriend who treats me like a millionaire. I have tried to do army,navy,marines ect. But do to me only having a GED they won't exept me. My gf is going to be headed to law school soon. Really soon and I feel if she goes away I'm going to lose her and get officially stuck here. And I know that's not the mindset to have but I have literally applied to 1000s of jobs out here only to get turned down. I am secretly depressed. Not letting anyone know but you guys. I have so many ambitions and goals I want to achieve but nothing is going my way. I'm afraid. I want to be able to give her everything even though she doesn't want it. And I want to become something for myself. I want to succeed in this world. If anyone has a word of advice I would love to hear it. Sorry if this is boring or whatnot I honestly don't have anyone. Please pray for me.

Im pretty sure the army even dropped the GED requirement a while back... but even if they didn't, your life is yours to control, at some point all the things you listed can only do one thing, hold you back. so let them go and face tomorrow with purpose, as long as your lungs draw breath your fate is in your hands.

I am 31, in my life I have made over 6 figures to owning nothing, and back to being successful. I am an ethnic minority in America with a middle class education, my fate has always been my own and through any adversity it was my own willingness to press on that has seen me through.

That is my advice, press on, and fight for the life you wish to lead.

I also wanted to add a quote one my favorite movie.

"its only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything."

Think about that, the only thing stopping you is yourself, you could pack what little # you have and go ride the rails of America like a hobo, see the world, what ever, what have you got to lose? You are far more free than you know, go create your own adventure man, whats the worse that could happen?

Yes. I will pray for you.

One thing that helped me out was to get away from those people that do drugs and are "best friends" with the police force.

I would suggest getting some school loans and start working on at least an associates at a community college. It will be your first step towards a more respectable job. If you're really serious about getting ahead in life, ask your grandmother if you could live with her while you go to school or something along those lines. Most people like to help those who try to help themselves. Take it one step at a time, you can't get to the top any other way.

But most importantly, try to remain positive. To be successful, you have to feel successful. Your decisions affect and create your reality.

reply to post by Cytra

I would suggest getting some school loans and start working on at least an associates at a community

Student loans are the one debt you can't dump, as well as being enforceable by swat team that combined with the number of grads that can't get jobs...

Education is not the sure fire method for a better life, not by a long shot... With that being said, I would say education with a slant to an actual trade would not be a bad idea.

Financial aid and fee waivers with out loans would be a better right, and ROP programs with low cost fees another route.

All an all,you have experienced more than some people do in their life ..It probably was a blessing you not getting into the forces ,one can only imaging what bad things might happen to others or yourself with weapons involved ....You are young and have lots of time left to consider that picket fence in your future ,why don't you try getting a job with a moving company and travel as a second mate ..You get to see the country ,make a few friends along the way,and who knows what opportunity might present itself along the journey ..What ever you decide to do just do it and I pray you will find hope and peace along your path ...peace

Soo your a 23 year old male with no responsibilities
you lucky, lucky bastard....enjoy your youth, party on I say

Originally posted by benrl

Student loans are the one debt you can't dump, as well as being enforceable by swat team that combined with the number of grads that can't get jobs...

Education is not the sure fire method for a better life, not by a long shot... With that being said, I would say education with a slant to an actual trade would not be a bad idea.

Financial aid and fee waivers with out loans would be a better right, and ROP programs with low cost fees another route.

I'll have to agree that everyone has a different path and the option you present is not a bad one either. What he wants to do with his life career-wise will ultimately decide which path he takes. Education of any kind sure does help getting ahead though. Granted, we're living in tough times right now but its basic economy 101 that there are always dips and peaks, inflations and recessions. By the time he does finish an education we may be living in a healthy market again and he'll be glad he did not just twiddle his thumbs. Who knows, when grandma sees how hard he's trying she may decide that she'll offer to pay again.

I wish you only the best, ThisbSeth!

Well you have some good advice in here and a long life ahead of you. I will certainly pray for you and wish you well.

reply to post by Thisbseth

I have tried to do army,navy,marines ect. But do to me only having a GED they won't exept me.

What about trade schools? Some type of college where you can gain some type of skill, something like electrician, plumber, pipefitter, heavy equipment operator, millwright, machinist, tool and die maker, contractor, landscaper, etc, etc, etc.

Upgrade your math skills if you need to, everything needs math it seems.

I've heard that colleges in the US aren't too pricey ( although I don't know, they might be). If they don't cost TOO much, are there any types of agencies that can help you get into anything like that?

At the very least, it will show your girlfriend that your looking at your future seriously, and will help self confidence also.

I will pray for you. Listen to benrl he has given you some very good advice, and it sounds like he knows. I can tell you that all of your experiences are your strengths. The facts of your life give you a depth of compassion others may lack, it is a great gift. Being a lover is always good, but do not forget to love yourself. One foot in front of the other, it works!

reply to post by Thisbseth


I wrote a thread that you came across and it touches on this exact problem that so many of us are stuck on.

It sounds to me that you are falling into the trap of comparing yourself to others, this is the exact same trap as being false to yourself.

Instead of dedicating your life to being what you should be like or comparing yourself to others, actualize yourself from the inside out. Be true to yourself and let your character shine through.

Thank you all for you wonderful replies it really helped me out. I will do my best and again I am so appreciative for those that took the time for me. God bless you all and I hope to chat again soon. I was so emotional while writing that. I just needed to get it all off my chest because it's been building for so long. You all made my day and hopefully soon I will fix this life of mine! Love you all (and dnt think I'm weird I truely feel this way)