posted on Sep, 20 2004 @ 12:29 AM
Ok seen a few various things pertaining to this and figured I'd offer my own "help" Also comes in the form of childhood history and such.
As a child (from the ages of around 6-12) I used to often have a re-occurring dream that at the time I viewed as a nightmare. In this dream I would be
running through a tower block like building that had no rooms, only hallways with doors to more hallways. All the time I knew I was running from
something. (I now realise it was lucid dreaming as I was acutely aware of everything and had control)
Anyhow as time went on I'd stay dreaming for longer each time before waking up in terror. Eventually it progressed from just a general fear to
hearing sounds and even catching glimpses. (The kind of things in old B movies where they would show a small patch to save on the special effects
budget)
This all culminating in one night where I found that what chased me caught up to the point of being behind the very door I had just run through and
closed. Breaking it down on top of me and beginning to tear through the wood, before I awoke.
I've never had the dream since, and had almost forgotten about it until around 3 years ago when I became friends with someone very much into the
paranormal and spirituality. One evening the topic somehow got onto dreams and such and I brought up this particular one. Since they saw how much of a
negative effect it had they offered to help through some guided meditation. It was during this I found to be in my own belief to be the greatest
personal discovery of my life.
My friend helped me into a state where I was able to go back into the dream in my semi conscious state, but not as a child but as an adult. They took
me through the corridors and back to the place I left off lying on the ground. Obviously it wasn't a pleasant experience at first. But they helped to
keep me calm and instead of lie face down with the ostrich mentality (if I can't see it, it isn't really there) I turned to face my "demon"
For personal reasons I'm not going to describe it, as it's something very close to me and I feel should remain so. But I will say it was something
that has always held a high spot on my fears list. However I found myself not cowering in terror but more watching in curiosity, and it (though I
refer to as him now) looking back with the same interest.
At this point I saw he wasn't trying to get at me, but rather to me. The intentions weren’t to tear the door down then myself, but to destroy
what was between us. I don't know if I class him as a part of myself or a "guardian angel" but I can certainly say we are linked. He still has that
aura of fear about him, as he is a very primeval force. Sometimes I think of it as the part of me that is still a wild animal from ages past, at
others it is a kindred spirit. But always something large, powerful and generally not too pleasant.
The relevance of all this. Well I only ever had that "watched" feeling from the ages of 12-13 onwards, never before. Yes it used to freak me out,
but since this "connection" I now view it as just him sat around me somewhere nearby. It's still uncomfortable at times, and I never look around to
see what's there. I don't need to, I know he's there and am happy to be able to feel it.
So I guess it comes down to perspective in the end is what I'm trying to get across. For me, it seems I have this large antisocial "partner" with
me. But they say beauty in the eye of the beholder, I know he means me no harm (rather its protection) yet I also understand he isn't the kind of
being to have any diplomacy. (Pull its head off ask questions later) Yet in the end no matter what form your "guardian angel" takes, it still has
the same desire. To look out for you.
From my experiences the best I could suggest is to get into your subconscious and try and contact what you feel is there. Looking behind you ain't
always gona work.