posted on Feb, 25 2012 @ 09:09 AM
These kinds of posts really rub me wrong, and let me explain why.
I was adopted through the welfare system in Indiana in 1984 at the age of 4. I was taken from my biological mother who had been abusive toward her 3
children . Malnutrition, Sexual Abuse (though I do not know if I ever was), and physical abuse were all done by the mother (yes the, not my).
The father of me and my older sister was around for about 3 years, and by the looks of the hundreds of court, cps and mental health records that I
have the father never did the abusing, and is only guilty of eventually abandoning his children (though this may or may not be the case, he just
dropped out of any documents around 1982), at which time the biological mother was then remarried to a different man who she had the third child with.
There were never any records of this man being abusive either, and the only record I have is that he was pretty much her "YES MAN", and anything
she said, he agreed with. Both Husbands reported abuse on them as well, but of course she also said she was abused by the men.
I was the middle child, and for the first three years received the majority of the abuse. According to the documents the biological mother, did not
see me as a person, but instead as an unwanted entity. The good news here was, I spent more time in foster care than with my Biological mother, but
sadly my sister did not spend much time in foster care.
In 1983 the Indiana court system finally said enough is enough, and called for the children being taken from her permanently. Some how she got wind
of this (I do not know details as to how, they are not in the records), and when the cps case worker showed up to take the three children from her,
all the lady found was an empty apartment with only a single child in it (yes the child left was me). She had fled with two of the children.
Eventually the courts found her in Kentucky, but the state of Kentucky would not help Indiana in retrieving the children from her, because they did
not have any record of child abuse from her.
As for Documentation, the Documents about her, pretty much end here, the rest of them talk about my adoption and rehabilitation.
In 2001 I was able to track down my bio sister (how is a story within itself). She was and still is in Louisville Ky, and is also having to live in a
special home for mentally challenged women. At this point I have pieced together parts of the rest of the story from what she has told me, and what I
have heard from her case workers, and care takers. (though I am missing quite a bit of those 3 years, and do not push her to tell me anything),
mostly what I have is from the time she became part of the "system" to now.
In 1987 my Biological mother, had been found dead in a hotel room after being murdered, from a drug deal that had gone bad (that is what I was told,
at least). My Sister and half brother were found sometime later with a man the authorities had arrested. From what I was told, both were put up for
adoption, but since my sister had been so badly abused, she became mentally challenged and was prone to angry fits and outbursts. The couple
"returned" her to the system, which she has been in ever since.
I have regular communication with my sister, and see her when I can (3 hours away), but have not yet found what has happened to my half brother,
though I have some clues, just no luck in finding him. When I visit my sister, and take her out, It makes me mad to see what the abuse my biological
mother had done to her. She is 32 and has a mindset of a 5 to 10 year old. She has very little skills in regards to personal skills, and spends her
days at an adult daycare center, where all of her friends have even worse mental disorders than she does, causing her to never be able to see things
from an adults stand point of view. To this day, I am the only family she knows, though she is also the only blood family I know (other than my
The point of this story is, I see a situation, where the fathers were never abusive and a mother who was never held accountable for actions she
committed against her children. She should have been jailed for the first offence, let alone 7 years of abusing her children. But the biggest
problem I see is that the documents from the courts, seemed more concerned about what the father was doing than the mother.
As a result, we have 3 lives impacted for life. I too had some developmental problems growing up, but was able to work hard and get past them.
Though I will admit, Some things, such as trust issues, still haunt me to this day.
So when i see a thread like this one, I cringe and feel anger within me, as this kind of thinking people have, lead to abuse within the early part of
my life, and worse yet, the mental disorders of my sister.
Do not tell me women don't abuse like men, because I promise you, They do, and most know they will get away with it too.