A bit of advice (and I mean this respectfully with the agenda of saving you young men future heart ache).
Be really careful when you are with a woman. Even if she says she is on birth control, you still need to use precautionary measures. Once you father
a child you will be on the hook for supporting that child for 18 years.
Before you say I do, live with your sweetie pie for at least a year or two, to make sure you both are compatible and can compromise on daily
Watch how she treats those that are on her $hit list. Does she enjoy fighting. If she loves to bully or fight, walk away.
If any means justify her ends, no matter who she hurts...........walk away.
You can always fix a face or body with plastic surgery. You cannot go to any doctor to make a person kind.
Before you buy a house or have a baby for God's sake, really make sure the marriage is going to work out.
Keep in mind, marriage is a legal and binding contract.
Women in my state have the upper hand, men have little or no rights.
Yes we went to Jeffrey Levine in Chicago and his group screwed up my son's custody royally and JL is a nationally known author, "Father's Rights" and
prominent lawyer (also expensive and not worth the toilet paper in my bathroom)
Now, my own experience as the Paternal Grandma who deeply loves her grand daughter.
My son's ex wife took off with their daughter for three months and nobody in our family, including my son the father knew where she
was......kidnapping? No, mom has the legal right to disappear.
We have now spent $28,000 USD to make our ex daughter in law comply with Joint Custody (Which is a big fricking joke anyway)
In 80% of all custody hearings, the woman will get full-live in custody. The court will look upon your baby, 1/2 of your DNA offspring as belonging
to the mother.
My grand daughter is now 10 and the court will not talk to her until she is 12. She has stated since very young that she would rather live with her
Joint Custody means that you will be allowed to see your baby, your child, your flesh and blood for 48 hours ever two weeks IF your ex decides to
comply. Many times women become very vindictive and use the child(ren) as pawns in a game of revenge.
If your ex wants to make this a nasty divorce, and not comply with court rulings, you will have to shell out mega bucks to a lawyer to make her
comply................you will need a really good, aggressive lawyer all the while she may try to alienate your children against you.
Now, you are 20 so you probably don't think about having or even wanting a baby.
My son said that the minute he held his daughter, his entire life changed - he never thought he could love a person like his
daughter................he never suspected what fathering a baby would mean to his heart. A tiny little hand that clutched his - a part of him, a
part of us. Parental love is something you will not realize until that first meeting.
My ex daughter in law worked (they both did) and she would go out until late at night 5-6 nights a week to sing in bars (help her brother with his DJ
Business) and go back to school. Subsequently, because my son fed, diapered, sang her to sleep, rocked her, he took care of her as a infant - they
developed a very close bond that messed with my grand daughter's psyche when mom took her away from her father.
The divorce court and family services are too over loaded to give a rats arse about your child. That is why we now have a whole generation of lost
and alienated souls that do not feel like they have a true family.
Statistics prove that most people in prison came from one parent and or abusive childhood backgrounds.
My son's ex wife divorced my son because he gained 40 pounds and became "fat and no longer sexy to her".
She told the court lies (under oath she committed perjury) and rather than investigate and ask the neighbors, the court sided with her. She has
stalked my son's fiance, called his place of business and gotten him fired, cutting her own throat because he could not pay child support until he
found another job but she just wanted to ensure this so he could not see his daughter - no pay no joint custody.
In short - be very careful who you go to bed with, get to know the young lady very well
first (and I don't mean physically).
Get to know her values, her family back ground, her psychological baggage, her maternal values (does she want children, how do you both want to raise
your children), etc.
Some of the major reasons almost 50% of marriages do not work out are:
-- Money problems
-- Job stress
-- Priorities and what you want out of life can change.
-- Unable to compromise on major issues and not willing to seek marriage counseling.
-- Not getting to know each other on a personal (not sexual) but on a real day by day, issue by issue level, talking about what you both want out of
-- Addiction problems, alcohol, drugs, sex, porno, gambling, etc.
-- Dishonesty (lying, cheating, etc)
My son was totally into his ex wife because she was physically beautiful, thin, blond, pretty face, etc. He did not pay attention to the fact that
she was spoiled, mean as a scorpion with a heart as cold as ice.
I say this as a warning because there are already too many children living in one parent households, too many key latch kids, children who will never
know being part of a real whole loving family.
At 20 some decisions you make now can affect your future life so choose wisely.
The title of this thread was highly offensive to me, it was clearly prejudice in nature.
Again, women are way more manipulative than men - I've watched little girls that were way ahead of men twice their age.
And again, most men, don't think with the head on their shoulders...........kingdoms and fortunes have been won and lost between the legs of many a
Again I will repeat my statement in my previous reply on this thread, a cunny woman, is way more deadlier than any male.
Take a lesson from the Black Widow, after mating the female usually eats her mate. This is a joke among divorce lawyers and they are the ones making
out like bandits - it is our children who lose out.
Now ask any divorce lawyer who usually wins and comes out ahead in most divorces.
No men are not the most dangerous of the species - women are because in order to survive in a man's world for the past 8,000 + years they have had to
develop quietly being able to manipulate men in order to survive.
I've watched 8 year old girls that had more social smarts than 16 year old boys for Christ's sake.
A final note: A child's paternal grandparents should be included in their grand child(ren)'s life.
My son's ex wife carries a psychological scar that both her parents (the maternal grandparents) could give a poop about our precious, beloved grand
My son's ex is deeply scarred and soul wounded that we love her so deeply and completely. She doesn't realize if she had been just half way nice and
not dragged a poor innocent child through a messy and hateful divorce, we would have given her the townhouse (we own a house and townhouse) as well as
the anything else they needed...............but she has no comprehension of how a normal, loving family is because her family background was so
I no longer dislike her, I pity the fact that if she had tried to make this easier on our grand daughter, a innocent child - she would have gotten a
lot more financial aid and support but she chose to go it alone to sever all ties.
My grand daughter told me in passing, "When I become twelve, I will ask the court to live with my father - my mother is mean and fights with
No, men are not dangerous to society - as much as women are.
Hollywood again is spawning all these movies to shape public opinion against men. Many who are now more civilized than most of the women I have
edit on 25-2-2012 by ofhumandescent because: (no reason given)