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Frustrated, drained, and tired with trying to connect/ascend

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posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:31 PM
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I used to meditate regularly, and I used to refrain from certain foods, alcohol, masterbation, ect. and all of the things that are considered to feed into the illusion of "being selfish." I have asked for answers in meditation and not received them. If I have received them, they are not in a way I can understand.

All I hear about on here are these success stories about how well people have done. I hear of people channeling, connecting to higher self, having OBE;s, ect. I am happy for them and wish them continued success, but I am throwing my hands up in the air. I have obviously done something wrong to never receive this help of any sort.

I admit to being human. I have a compulsive personality which caused me to drink a lot at one time, watch pornography, eat bad food, ect, but I made efforts to CHANGE that. I refrained from all of it for several weeks and meditated regularly. I did not experience significant results other than craving these things. I have regressed back to old habits, then tried this again, and then once again regressed. If I felt there were ANY hope, ANY light at the end of the tunnel, ANY love being received by higher self, group souls, or higher entities I would have motivation to keep going. As it stood, I was just starving for good food, sexually repressing myself, and craving all of the things that, while temporary, at least made me feel better.

I GET that the ego is strong and provides a false illusion of self. I GET that you have to look inward. I have admitted my flaws in life time after time, and I am even doing so again. At least with the ego it gives me SOMETHING. Without it I go a couple of months with trying to change and cannot. Maybe I need to wait longer, but I honestly do not believe I can in a world full of unhealthy eating habits, sex, drugs, and alcohol. To go even a couple of months refraining from these things shows that unlike 95% of society (at least in America) I do see the problem and am willing to TRY to change. I need help with it I guess. All i hear is that the majority of people on Earth will be reborn into this sort of existence with their built up karma, but why, when I attempt to change and ask for love which i am supposedly able to receive, do I not get it? I feel like it is all for nothing and that it is destined that i return and repeat this same cycle over again. At least unlike most I attempt to meditate, look within, help others, and seek guidance.

I will summarize by saying I am by no means perfect, but I do good things and do not understand why I am not worthy of receiving information that others on here discuss they have received naturally for a long time (and again, I'm happy for THEM. i just wish i could understand more). I have made bad decisions in life at times but come a long way and faced a lot of issues head on. I'm a social worker at a behavioral facility for older adults at the age of 24 and I go out of my way to help these people all the time. I guess I feel like I'm some sort of bad person who extend his hand out for guidance only to be scoffed at and left with nowhere to turn.
edit on 24-2-2012 by Subconsciously Correct because: (no reason given)




posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:38 PM
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reply to post by Subconsciously Correct
 


don't give up op. all paths lead to the processor in the end. recognising ones defects is important. keep on keeping on.
f



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:41 PM
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Sounds like you tried the religious path, rather than the "selfless" path.

Try realizing that it's not about religion or God, but about manifesting the "oneness" within yourself. You are not separate; nothing is separate. All these things you abstained from...it is not necessary to abstain from them completely unless you are trying ALL THE TIME.

If this is the case, then you are trying WAAAYYY too hard. You cannot force it...you must coax it. Don't shove the donkey...you might get kicked. Instead, lead the donkey an encourage it to move, then show it where to go.

Does this help?



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:45 PM
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reply to post by Subconsciously Correct
 

that's all fine except you didn't do any of that, you are not your ego
find out who you are and everything will fall in place without effort.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:49 PM
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reply to post by Subconsciously Correct
 





All I hear about on here are these success stories about how well people have done. I hear of people channeling, connecting to higher self, having OBE;s, ect. I am happy for them and wish them continued success


Its because they are like the people who "feel jesus" lol . Its all in the mind. Those people let the lollipop world of oneness and obe's eat at their minds , WIth all the meditating they do , they buy into the illusion.

Kinda like the budda and "enlightenment" he didn't really reach anything except the influx of chemicals in his bodies , to give him illlusion of any sort of "nirvana" .


Meditiation is great to calm your body down , make your head clear , and make you feel good . The mind thanks you for it .

But its nothing more then that . No matter how much you try . Buddists die trying to achieve these things , because they hear of others who have.

But nobody has . Its just good meditation and philosophy nothing more. The rest comes out of what you do with that , and how you let it effect your life.

The reason your frustrated is because your chasing something that doesn't exisit. Thats a sign your body is saying , thats all there is champ lol.

just stick to meditation and using that to stay calm positive etc , and the philosophy to help you get some euphoric feelings , and your good.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but the people who you see put posts up about there experinces , are just full of them selfs . trying to sell something they confused for reality .

good luck, then when you can't reach anything close to what they have . they say

"keep trying , your not doing it right"

"it takes long time"

"don't worry just keep at it , it'll come eventually "

lol
edit on 24-2-2012 by seedofchucky because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:50 PM
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Originally posted by Starchild23
Sounds like you tried the religious path, rather than the "selfless" path.

Try realizing that it's not about religion or God, but about manifesting the "oneness" within yourself. You are not separate; nothing is separate. All these things you abstained from...it is not necessary to abstain from them completely unless you are trying ALL THE TIME.

If this is the case, then you are trying WAAAYYY too hard. You cannot force it...you must coax it. Don't shove the donkey...you might get kicked. Instead, lead the donkey an encourage it to move, then show it where to go.

Does this help?


I appreciate your reply, but your advice is the route I attempted. I follow spirituality through prayer/meditation as opposed to religion. I do believe everything is connected. The Law of One Series is my favorite thing to read.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:51 PM
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reply to post by Subconsciously Correct
 


[color=gold]

I would recommend that you keep trying to understand the signals that may be reflected upon you. I am no guru on the subject I just have deep interest in the topic which encourages me to try to understand more on it or as much as I can. From your way of sharing your feelings shared within this thread it does appear that you have the ambition to seek out things not understood by most which to 1 is a good sign that you are really interested OR a good psy observer trying to figure things out on a more descriptive level of understanding. If you do possess true compassion then DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF keep trying. To start try to keep some personal time to yourself to meditate or to relax your conscious of the ills of the world and the responsibilities you may personally possess on a day to day basis. Once you find this area of PEACE then seek internal look at yourself and ALL that makes you and you may find what's blocking your transmission or signals. You got to keep a clear mind and filter your personal thoughts you may be pondering to feel what may be sent to you from elsewhere. Don't doubt yourself as for as your level of receptiveness, keeping in mind many trying to achieve what you are trying may have been in the same mind state as you may be which is I cannot see any changes but again as you look deep inside yourself and concentrate you may begin to see you are changing. 1 feels your showing signs if your really compassionate about learning how to better your spirit/soul/ENERGY on a positive level so to remind you DON'T GIVE UP its a GREY field so you may learn things that may help others and visca versca upon you from others.

Excuse the long text but I kind of know how you feel its just your venturing into studies and techniques that aren't in general discussed so its like learning how to swim after being dropped in the center of the Atlantic (its possible you just got to think about all the steps that come with learning to swim ad then do it in a fashionable enough time where you will not drown or in reality loose interest.

Good luck Subconsciously Correct


NAMASTE
LOVE LIGHT ETERNIA*******

[/COLOR]
edit on 2/24/12 by Ophiuchus 13 because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:59 PM
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reply to post by Subconsciously Correct
 


You sound like me.

The thing is, some of us are not supposed to shine, because if we did it would be too bright and that would defeat the purpose of this world.

It will all make sense afterwards and in the meantime the best thing you can do is be happy and balance living for yourself and living with others so that you are neither too drained by others nor too immersed in self.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 01:03 PM
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reply to post by elliotmtl
 





The thing is, some of us are not supposed to shine, because if we did it would be too bright and that would defeat the purpose of this world.




haha lol , i love the excuses given out when things don't go as planned.

Humans are amazing at that lol . One thing i've learned anyone who claims higher levels of "reality" are all full of hot air , and fool others with excuses to keep them on the same derailed path.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 01:23 PM
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Originally posted by seedofchucky
reply to post by elliotmtl
 





The thing is, some of us are not supposed to shine, because if we did it would be too bright and that would defeat the purpose of this world.




haha lol , i love the excuses given out when things don't go as planned.

Humans are amazing at that lol . One thing i've learned anyone who claims higher levels of "reality" are all full of hot air , and fool others with excuses to keep them on the same derailed path.



I respect your opinion as you should respect others opinions as well. It's differing opinions which make the world so diverse and great after all. If we all believed the same thing, it'd be pretty dull,, no?

But yes, just as not everyone in the world can be lawyers, doctors, scientists, etc., not everyone can do an OBE or astral project or reconnect with past lives, etc. We're not all created equally after all. Not an issue either way. 100% of humanity can not do 100% of all the things and for that fact, it doesn't make those who can wrong just as it doesn't make those who can not wrong either. We all dance to the beat of a different drummer when it all comes down to it, and each personal beat is indeed correct for that person. .

edit on 24-2-2012 by sarra1833 because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 01:30 PM
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Dear OP,

Your mistake is only that of belittling yourself.

You are doing a far more wonderful job than more others whom you think are special, gifted, etc. NO MORTAL is pefect.

Each and everyone of us have our roles to pay. Those of religious faithful, even though gifted free will, had given up much of that free will to serve a higher purpose, for they had seen the futility of misuse of free will without disciplined responsibility to others, to follow the better guided path.

Some of them are given tasks to fulfill, and many of such tasks cannot be envied. There are much sacrifices involved, and even though with free will, many courageously chosed to stay true to those tasks, no matter the pain and social stigma attached.

Those whom have no religious affiliations, are often guided by a part that they do not acknowledged yet, but live within ALL humanity - the spirit of our common Creator that lives within us all. They may not acknowledged it, but they too, are serving a purpose to humanity, so long as they adhere to moral values passed down by generations.

That is what the divine teachings had all been about - civilisation and egalitarianism where none gets left behind. Not many of them, but some of them. Even one is an exponential number, for when a life is touched, it touches others around as well. And in time, they will acknowledge in deep humility of the spirit that lives within them...

You had given up on vices, and is a social worker within community. That itself is a role beyond far and above many of those whom had been touched by the spirit.

Take heart in what you do, and NEVER be disappointed if you feel you are shortchanged on the spiritual evolution by being denied of it. You obviously do not need it than others whom do not have that EMPATHY that you possess in your heart. It is the heart that matters more, never the physical appearances or desires. You dont and never need the spiritual path for answers, for it ALREADY exists within you.

As you did not take the religious path, our common Creator will never refuses anyone who seeks and asks, faithful or religious. Only thing is, the answers may not be you hope for or be prepared for the realities of it, but nevertheless, still answers, if you would calm yourself, clear your thoughts of any preconceived notions, and listen to the soft voice from your heart, and see the results of following it the comming days...



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 01:30 PM
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Welcome to the world of life lesson and transition in understanding my friend. I too felt much of what I perceive as your frustration and self imposed limitation. I felt it for years and years. I tried finding the right place to pray. That was not successful, I understand the fallacy of organized religion. I tried finding that right place to live. That didn't work out so well either when I was looking for it. I tried to find that right bunch of people to emulate. That didn't work as I discovered that not only did I not always agree with their methods, I found that hypocrisy reared itself in those circles. Leadership is not sought after, it is bestowed upon. Looking outward for answers when one isn't confidant and accepting of the inner is always frustrating for me. The most difficult part of my spiritual awakening was realizing that as passionate and intense as I could be about saying the words, I understand and am aware, until I felt it in the heart with no doubt and no regret, the mind would not accept it.

Please do not give up. It will be your choice though. As with all things. We manifest our own destiny each and every day. Critics and naysayers try to tear down because until they experience enlightenment, they cannot allow it's existence. They are the child who does not want to play with a friend's toy because they do not have their own.

I read a post that mentioned over thinking. This is very true. Over thinking this puts doubt in heart and mind about what you are seeking to achieve. I have shared this with many people over the last few weeks: One cannot get affirmation if one does not have faith. I refer to faith as an understanding that we are all one and that the Universe (God, Supreme Being etc) is the ultimate manifestation of that. This physical reality is merely a stopping place for experience, and remember, YOU CHOSE TO COME HERE AT THIS TIME
You just don't recall making the choice.

Based on my own experience as well, perhaps there is a life lesson that has not been learned, and as such, the final understanding and shedding the final doubt is not at this time for you. I had a very important life lesson to learn that was repeating itself for decades (I can be thick at times...lol) and part of the lesson was the reward of finally being able to shed the final bit of doubt in my mind about my place and my spirituality.

Again, let the critics have their space, but recognize them as challenges of understanding.

Peace and light to all.
Namaste.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 01:41 PM
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I want to tell you, you are perfect the way you are. You are trying to follow others perceptions of enlightenment.We each have our own path, and yours will be different from what I or others may experience. Your life experiences are different, so your true self will guide and interact with you by what you know.

Pay attention to the synchronicity, pay attention to your first thoughts out of the blue, act on them and watch what happens, you will receive more. Speak out loud to yourself, ask for clarity, ask for help.

When you gave up the things you listed, was this an innate thought or what others tell you to do? Ego will try to pull you back to what is familiar. Ego is afraid of losing control and thinks it is protecting you so you must be strong and voice your new path. You have done nothing wrong, this is the practice of balance so your true self will be able to step forward in your life.

Each day when you awake or take your first deep breath, you have the free will to choose how your day will be. Choose. Practice this, you may have to choose several times a day, the moment you notice you don't like the way you feel, choose another. You are being bombarded with energies, choose what you want to feel. Take deep breathes and choose. Walk through the energies knowing you are never alone and know you are working at Mastering your life. Let go of the concepts of others, you are working on yours, so relax knowing it will be and all paths lead to the one.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 01:47 PM
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Originally posted by Subconsciously Correct
I used to meditate regularly, and I used to refrain from certain foods, alcohol, masterbation, ect. and all of the things that are considered to feed into the illusion of "being selfish." I have asked for answers in meditation and not received them. If I have received them, they are not in a way I can understand.

All I hear about on here are these success stories about how well people have done. I hear of people channeling, connecting to higher self, having OBE;s, ect. I am happy for them and wish them continued success, but I am throwing my hands up in the air. I have obviously done something wrong to never receive this help of any sort.

I admit to being human. I have a compulsive personality which caused me to drink a lot at one time, watch pornography, eat bad food, ect, but I made efforts to CHANGE that. I refrained from all of it for several weeks and meditated regularly. I did not experience significant results other than craving these things. I have regressed back to old habits, then tried this again, and then once again regressed. If I felt there were ANY hope, ANY light at the end of the tunnel, ANY love being received by higher self, group souls, or higher entities I would have motivation to keep going. As it stood, I was just starving for good food, sexually repressing myself, and craving all of the things that, while temporary, at least made me feel better.

I GET that the ego is strong and provides a false illusion of self. I GET that you have to look inward. I have admitted my flaws in life time after time, and I am even doing so again. At least with the ego it gives me SOMETHING. Without it I go a couple of months with trying to change and cannot. Maybe I need to wait longer, but I honestly do not believe I can in a world full of unhealthy eating habits, sex, drugs, and alcohol. To go even a couple of months refraining from these things shows that unlike 95% of society (at least in America) I do see the problem and am willing to TRY to change. I need help with it I guess. All i hear is that the majority of people on Earth will be reborn into this sort of existence with their built up karma, but why, when I attempt to change and ask for love which i am supposedly able to receive, do I not get it? I feel like it is all for nothing and that it is destined that i return and repeat this same cycle over again. At least unlike most I attempt to meditate, look within, help others, and seek guidance.

I will summarize by saying I am by no means perfect, but I do good things and do not understand why I am not worthy of receiving information that others on here discuss they have received naturally for a long time (and again, I'm happy for THEM. i just wish i could understand more). I have made bad decisions in life at times but come a long way and faced a lot of issues head on. I'm a social worker at a behavioral facility for older adults at the age of 24 and I go out of my way to help these people all the time. I guess I feel like I'm some sort of bad person who extend his hand out for guidance only to be scoffed at and left with nowhere to turn.
edit on 24-2-2012 by Subconsciously Correct because: (no reason given)


a social worker for behavioral therapy and your addicted to porn & eating bad foods????????????? WTF? what kind of behavioral therapy are you giving your clients?? good god your post made me sick.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 02:00 PM
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Originally posted by Subconsciously Correct

Originally posted by Starchild23
Sounds like you tried the religious path, rather than the "selfless" path.

Try realizing that it's not about religion or God, but about manifesting the "oneness" within yourself. You are not separate; nothing is separate. All these things you abstained from...it is not necessary to abstain from them completely unless you are trying ALL THE TIME.

If this is the case, then you are trying WAAAYYY too hard. You cannot force it...you must coax it. Don't shove the donkey...you might get kicked. Instead, lead the donkey an encourage it to move, then show it where to go.

Does this help?


I appreciate your reply, but your advice is the route I attempted. I follow spirituality through prayer/meditation as opposed to religion. I do believe everything is connected. The Law of One Series is my favorite thing to read.


Ah, how coincidental. I am a fan of the series as well.

If that hasn't helped, then I am at a loss. I do hope you find what you seek.

Namaste



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 02:24 PM
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Originally posted by Starchild23

Originally posted by Subconsciously Correct
I appreciate your reply, but your advice is the route I attempted. I follow spirituality through prayer/meditation as opposed to religion. I do believe everything is connected. The Law of One Series is my favorite thing to read.


Ah, how coincidental. I am a fan of the series as well.

If that hasn't helped, then I am at a loss. I do hope you find what you seek.

Namaste


I missed the LoO part when I replied...coincidentally that is what I was referring to. If you have not read the part about Wanderers, please do so. It is my interpretation that everyone who connects with this material is what the material refers to as Wanderers. And it is stated that Wanderers will often come into this world with physical/mental defects. One of these defects could very well be the neurochemical insufficiency that is probably behind your mentioned life struggles. So don't worry, it's supposed to be that way. It's part of the plan.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 02:42 PM
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Originally posted by seedofchucky
reply to post by elliotmtl
 





The thing is, some of us are not supposed to shine, because if we did it would be too bright and that would defeat the purpose of this world.




haha lol , i love the excuses given out when things don't go as planned.

Humans are amazing at that lol . One thing i've learned anyone who claims higher levels of "reality" are all full of hot air , and fool others with excuses to keep them on the same derailed path.


Not entirely true. The subjective mind is nothing to wag your finger at sir. Reality is as reality is, and as far as we know, there's nothing but it, but the mind is free to make of it whatever it pleases. The subjective mind creates definitions for what it experiences. If the subjective mind has interpreted the universe as being divine, then the subjective mind has made it so.

Externally, there are no definitions as such. Externally, there is only complex mathematics and physical laws. Internally, there is beauty, love, joy, etc. The only way the universe can observe itself is through subjectivity. Therefore all that exists is subjective relativity. All that math, and what is real, means nothing. Meaning itself is something exclusive to the subjective mind.

All I'm saying is, is someone thinks they are seeing higher levels of reality, then that is because they are. Who are you to tell another how to define the meaning of their experience? All are free to define the meaning of it however they want, and NO! definition is any more or less valid than another.

Subjectivity is a powerful tool and is not one to be underestimated or under utilized.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 02:45 PM
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I admit to being human. I have a compulsive personality which caused me to drink a lot at one time, watch pornography, eat bad food, ect, but I made efforts to CHANGE that. I refrained from all of it for several weeks and meditated regularly. I did not experience significant results other than craving these things. I have regressed back to old habits, then tried this again, and then once again regressed. If I felt there were ANY hope, ANY light at the end of the tunnel, ANY love being received by higher self, group souls, or higher entities I would have motivation to keep going. As it stood, I was just starving for good food, sexually repressing myself, and craving all of the things that, while temporary, at least made me feel better.
reply to post by Subconsciously Correct
 


Oh no OP, several whole weeks! haha. Sorry I did not mean to be flippant, but it actually takes a good while to begin to reprogram neural path ways, especially ones that have been reinforced over and over again, throughout your life. Neural pathways are actually the basis for mental cravings. In other words every time you have a specific thought, it creates a neural pathway, then ever time after you have that thought it reinforces that neural pathway and eventually, the pathway becomes ingrained to a point that it becomes a path of least resistance through your brain, so to speak, thus causing you to entertain those thoughts more then others.

Now, meditation can allow you to begin to dissolve those neural path ways by short circuiting the associated thought related to them, but it takes a great deal of time. I mean can you really expect to spend years of your life laying down a neural pathway and reinforcing it and then dispel that pathway in a couple of weeks? Neural pathways and mental cravings don't instantly subside, they only fade slowly over time and only when you don't reinforce and feed them.

Really, I don't think you have given it enough time, for your cravings to fade and they do eventually. In any case, if I were you I would worry more about getting rid of old habits that you don't want, then worrying about ascension and enlightenment etc, since there is one thing that most people seeking enlightenment fail to realize and that is there is no becoming enlightened, only realizing that you already are.

Here is a nice old zen story about the idea:

Zen story about seeking enlightenment
edit on 24-2-2012 by prisoneronashipoffools because: typos

edit on 24-2-2012 by prisoneronashipoffools because: typo

edit on 24-2-2012 by prisoneronashipoffools because: typo



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 02:51 PM
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Your road block is your belief that you have to have a body of a monk to reach ascension. Transcendence starts as an idea of absoluteness, eternity. From there you experience this idea as a real sensation, either mental stimulation or internal body mechanisms you previously were never aware of before. Finally after sustained meditations you know with all your soul that the higher Self exists.

Habits can not get you to the supreme, nor can they prevent you from entering the streams of enlightenment. The idea that you cant have a holy experience because you smoke cigarettes is a product of the over-nannyfication of our society.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 03:06 PM
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Forcibly obtaining from your habits isn't always a good thing as it may increase internal tension. When the time comes, you won't feel any desire to experience them as the high from meditation/realization will be stronger. Acceptance and understanding of your habits is probably more important.

There are many levels of awareness... I would say an infinite amount. Below is my suggestion for unlocking one of the most basic levels. Everyone has their own methods though.

Don't look at the clock, go into 'your own time' Remove yourself from distractions and noise. With the external environment quieted, focus on quieting the mind. If successful you may experience a moment of loneliness (when your awareness is present but the mind is silent). Start a constant conversation between these two aspects of self, form a balance/symbiosis. Keep them distinct and they can critique each other. This is also a type of thinker/feeler balance. Useful for seeing things from vastly different perspectives. Also helpful for understanding habits and conquering them, which doesn't necessarily mean stopping them.




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