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Strange event with my kids tonight

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posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:40 PM
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A little background is necessary for this to make sense to anyone other than myself.
4 years ago, my wife & kids & I moved from GA to FL. My kids were ages 4 and 2 when we left, so they're 8 and 6 now. We've made several visits back there to see my parents, and my inlaws as well. This past September, my father passed away rather suddenly. He had been having problems for a while, but wasn't bedridden or anything - matter of fact he died while refurbishing a boat. There was a memorial service held for him, but to ease the trauma on my 8 year old (who is borderline autistic) we left both the kids behind with my father-in-law. This was September of 2011.
Tonight, my wife and I were watching TV, the kids were in bed and had been for about 30 minutes when I hear noises coming from their room. My wife gets up to investigate and pokes her head in the door and I hear a lot of sobbing. She turns and looks at me with tears in her eyes and says "I think this is something daddy needs to handle".
Both kids had started bawling saying they missed their 'papa', which is what they called him. It wasn't just a little sad cry, as if over a broken toy - these babies hearts were shattered. They were inconsolable. They haven't much even mentioned my father since he died. The last time they saw him was about a month prior to when it happened.
They were crying "I want to see him again", "I wish people didn't die", "Will I ever see papa again?". My question is.....why? Why now? Why tonight? Why SIMULTANEOUSLY from being asleep? I guess the question could be answered (in the morning if I dare open wounds the night's sleep has closed) by asking them as to what made them suddenly feel the way they did. This is extremely unusual coming from my children. They've been 'ok' with this all along up until now. Maybe I'm just ranting, maybe I already know the answers that I don't want to face. Maybe someone has some insight? Apologies if posted in the wrong forum.




posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:50 PM
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My step-mother passed and my niece seems to bring her up a lot. Sometimes when she gets in her moods she'll go outside to talk to her. She's autistic as well. I don't know what to make of it, but if it calms her down. I'm all for it.
edit on 23-2-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:52 PM
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reply to post by Manhater
 


Think I might try that tomorrow.....see how that works



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:55 PM
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Its a normal part of the grieving process, they finally "accepted" it. I'm not a professional so I can't help with that aspect of it, but it will happen and it will happen later down the road too as they miss him later on.

Best advice I have is be loving to them and if need be seek professional help.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:58 PM
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I have to agree with the above posters. Maybe one woke up crying and the other realized what was going on and joined in the grief at the same time. It can be quite catching. contagious in other words.

He could have visited them in their dreams too, you never know. Many accounts of passed on loved ones who come to us to let us know they're okay and all that jazz. Just depends if one believes in that as being fact or just 'wishful thinking and memories' of course.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:58 PM
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Could they have both experienced a visitation shortly after falling asleep? Tears are the way we cleanse our emotional health, so when words fail, just hold them and cry too if you feel to.

Hope you will all share brighter days soon.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:59 PM
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reply to post by sykickvision
 


I leave her alone and let her do her thing.

The only thing that has me worried at this time and her advocate is going to look into it, is her imaginary friend and thinking it's cool to have a contest on who can hurt themselves. That has me worried. Of course she beat her friend, and she didn't do too much damage. She thinks it's funny. Or, that she thinks it's funny as a joke to pretend for mom to play dead. Scary mind this child has. Which totally worries me.

She is doing much better on her tantrums though.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:10 PM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


These two have been raised in a household devoid of religious dogma and teachings. Their mother is atheist, I declare myself agnostic atheist....but...regardless of the terminology they've not been taught by us that there is any residue of our former selves that survives death. They've not been taught of a heaven or hell, except that it is a thing that some people believe in. I'm going to ask them, I think, sometime just what triggered this event. I really want to know.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:14 PM
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reply to post by Manhater
 


Mine has the beginning symptoms of Tourettes with the verbal tics, and physical manifestations such as continually touching his face, picking at his fingers. He also will absolutely under no circumstance whatsoever talk to anyone outside of the immediate family. The ONLY thing I've ever heard him tell anyone not related to us has been at Subway when his mother makes him tell the lady what he wants on his sandwich. At school - he plays with the other kids & they all love him....but he will not talk to them. The teacher has made allowances for him, such as providing him with a dry-erase board he can write whatever he needs to tell her on it, but at home he screams & yells & plays just like any other 8 year old would.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:20 PM
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reply to post by sykickvision
 


Yeah, my niece is a nonstop screamer too. If she don't get what she wants, it turns into a 2 year old wanting a bottle. So annoying. Her scream can drive you insane. Waiting for her to get laryngitis. I know it's wrong to wish that, but golly, I need some peace.

edit on 23-2-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:23 PM
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All these modern names for behaviour,Tourettes.adhd etc its just an ecxuse for badly behaved children,with no ground rules.

Its harsh but a practise we use in our country to deal with a loved ones death is to awaken the child at hourly periods through the night holding a picture of the dead person.Get them to shout the deseased name at the top of their lungs and you quietly leave the room and say no more.

Its a dessensitsation idea that removes guilt from the inner chakras.Another practise is too have a picture of the dead person turned into a poster,place it on the ceiling above the bed and remove any curtains in the room so the image can be more or less seen at all times.

Again harsh to some but it worked for us.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:33 PM
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reply to post by paperface

its just an ecxuse for badly behaved children,with no ground rules.

 




I told the officer that and he scolded me and stood up for her. "You think she wants to be like this?" And I'm like, "Well, she sure knows how to run to her bedroom when you get here, so, obviously she has some sense of right and wrong". And I slammed the door.
And he's like "Was that really necessary?" and I'm like "No, I'm just aggravated because this is an everyday thing. And, I got school in the morning."
edit on 23-2-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:37 PM
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reply to post by paperface
 


Wow, maybe I'll try that. If that doesn't work then what would you recommend? The stretching racks, thumb screws, or boiling oil? I guess you could say we think it is a little harsh, since prison sentences are typically handed out here for MENTALLY ABUSING CHILDREN.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:40 PM
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Possible spiritual connections with children. Sleep always has somethign to do with it
edit on 23-2-2012 by Jordan River because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:41 PM
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reply to post by sykickvision
 


I beg your pardon?

Its ok to betray the privacy of your kids trauma?If you do not wish for anwers then why post family private details on a busy website.


I was going to say another idea they say is to dress in the clothes of the deseaced,which is just horrific in my opinion,but hey you deal with your own little "mini drama"

Good lucky honney xx



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:44 PM
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reply to post by paperface
 


Well even after I read your tactics, they do seem a bit out there, especially for children at that age. You might as well just scar them for life. I guess that's thinking outside the box sort of speak. lol I only agree with the bad behavior part.
edit on 23-2-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:50 PM
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reply to post by Manhater
 


yes,I heard in some places they have the body in the house in an uncovered casket for all to see!

Maybe these things work for some.However yes I agree with you,these names for bad behaviour are just down to poor parenting.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 11:24 PM
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Originally posted by sykickvision I guess the question could be answered (in the morning if I dare open wounds the night's sleep has closed) by asking them as to what made them suddenly feel the way they did. This is extremely unusual coming from my children. They've been 'ok' with this all along up until now. Maybe I'm just ranting, maybe I already know the answers that I don't want to face. Maybe someone has some insight? Apologies if posted in the wrong forum.


Skykickvision,

I don't believe it would be opening wounds to ask them what brought this about but I would suggest you do a bit of investigating first. I am not a child psychologist but I remember once reading that around the ages of 5-8, we start grasping the concept of mortality which is, understandably, extremely scary for children. It is possible that one of them has a friend in school or on a sports team or within your community who recently lost a loved one and because of this, one or both of your children is trying to come to terms with the concept that those we love do not live forever. Being so close in age, it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to share these feelings/fears with a sibling. Also, the thought of losing a parent is oftentimes too much for a child to contemplate so they will, therefore, deflect the feelings to someone else they know was a part of their lives but is no longer with us. I would think it's psychologically safer for a child to say "why did papa die?" as opposed to "are you and mommy going to die, daddy?".

So I would first do some investigating to try to find out if someone in their school or community recently died and then have an honest talk with them about the circle of life; you want to do everything possible to destigmatize the subject matter or they could become silently frightful about losing those they love. I would check out your local library as I'm sure there are many books you and your wife could read with them that can explain this concept in a healthy and non-intimidating way.

Best of luck to you!

Timidgal



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 12:45 PM
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reply to post by timidgal
 


I will inquire of them when they get home from school. Perhaps taking a walk this weekend and having a talk about it during would be beneficial. I awoke this morning feeling as if someone had cleaned my heart with a wire brush, still aching from the pain I saw in their eyes and heard in their voices last night. They seemed fine this morning, nothing was said about it, just business as usual. It's blistering me to know what triggered this event. This was totally unusual for both of them.

And to the people who are claiming that Tourettes is nothing more than bad parenting - you try it. These kids have had a cush life, with both parents present (I work from home) and their only daily stresses are what games to play on their computers, or finding matching socks. They've not been abused, nor neglected - and they do have responsibilities that there are consequences for if not performed. Is that what makes a child obsessively pinch his own face whenever he is expected to speak in front of people? Is that what makes him pick his fingernails until they bleed? How is bad parenting a factor when he's (mostly) normal acting at home, yet has not spoken to a teacher or other student in three years of attending school? They don't throw tantrums, they don't get everything they want. You have a kid like that, try it out, and then let someone who thinks it's a good idea to traumatize the grief out of children come tell you that you're a bad parent.



posted on Feb, 24 2012 @ 08:02 PM
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reply to post by paperface
 


Do you know anyone personally with Tourettes?

I do -most of my family. And we were said to be the best behaved kids on our estate. I was a prefect at secondary school.

Tourettes is a genetically inherited predispostion to a deficiency of magnesium. So sort out the Magnesium and you have a normal person-not everyone can cope with the small RDA.

We are all different and to say that a well researched subject is just misbehaved chidren is extreme ignorance. (I was involved in the biggest research paper in the world, as my family is the largest one to have it in their genes.)

So I am insulted by your ignorance and I am disappointed by it.
Deny ignorance.



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