Do nice guys really finish last?

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posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:16 PM
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This is something I'm worried over. I'm 18 and am one of those "nice guys". I'm not a pushover. I'm not very shy, but do sometimes get nervous around a girl I like. I try to be nice and polite to everyone. Without trying to sound conceited, I see myself as relatively attractive. I've had people tell me I'm "cute" or above-average at the very least. And my friends tell me that they think I'm a great guy.

Don't get me wrong, there are girls that like me, but it's not mutual. I do try and give them a chance, and try to get to know them. But I don't feel anything with them and don't want to lead them on. One time I asked out a girl I didn't really like but who liked me and my friends were pressuring me to ask her out. NEVER AGAIN. The date was horrible. I think she enjoyed it, but I spent the entire time waiting for it to end and ended up cutting it short because I claimed my brother called me and needed to be picked up. So now I have a standard that I have to be physically attracted to her and have to feel something. That's pretty much it. There is 1 girl who I get along really well with and am very attracted to, where it's mutual, but she lives 3000 miles away on the west coast, so we're only Internet friends, albeit close friends


But girls my age that I like just don't seem interested in me. They go for the jerk or bad boy. I mean, I don't go for the beauty model type. I go for the girls that seem "cute" and I get along with. But they're just not interested. Whenever I ask for advice, people say things like "nice guys finish last" and "nobody wants a nice guy" and say I need to be more confident. The thing is, I am confident, but I have anxiety which makes me seem unconfident. It's a medical thing, I actually take anxiety medication for it. But it's less than I probably need. If we up the dosage, I lose the ability to feel emotion, so I have to deal with a lower dosage and a little less anxiety.

So here's the question: do nice guys finish last, or is there an age where girls get tired of jerks and start dating nicer guys? And are there more girls who are tolerant and can look past anxiety issues that a guy has to the person inside?




posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:23 PM
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Unfortunately, YES! Nice guys do finish last. They get used, abused and run over buy women who proclaim, with their mouths, that they want a "nice guy" Their actions show an entirely different truth though. Women actually like to be ignored, abused, used and treated like dirt. If you are a nice guy, they will have no respect for you at all. Sad, but it is generally true.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:23 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


I've learned the hard way that the only person you need to look out for is YOURSELF.

its not bros before hoes. or money over bitches or any of that.

Its you above all else.

and yes, nice guys finish last. Start working out, it will change your body and your mind.
edit on 21-2-2012 by Gwampo because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:26 PM
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Originally posted by Gwampo
reply to post by mossme89
 

and yes, nice guys finish last. Start working out, it will change your body and your mind.
edit on 21-2-2012 by Gwampo because: (no reason given)

I do work out by running. So what should I do? Treat women like crap? How do I do that?



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:28 PM
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Do nice guys really finish last?
Yes. Absolutely.

Women want Alpha Males. Not some wuss.

However this doesn't mean that you need to be an inconsiderate jerk bad boy type guy either.

You need to be confident, calm, assertive, dominant and fun aka have a sense of humor.

alpha-men.net...

This site has some good bullet points on the subject.
Basically be yourself, don't take any crap from anyone and live life to the fullest.
When you do you will see that you will attract women. And that's what you want attraction.
You never want to do the chasing.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:31 PM
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Don't be physically abusive. Just ignore their wants and desires. Don't do nice things for them Don't call after a date or send flowers. Interrupt them when they are speaking to talk about yourself. Forget to call when you said you would. Be late to your dates. Let them know that your time is more important than theirs. Never, ever put her wants above yours. Never, ever put her career above yours. Hard learned experience dude. Honestly, very few women are even worth the time. Don't get me wrong, I am as straight as you can get. However, treating a women nicely causes her to lose respect for you. It is as simple as that.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:32 PM
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reply to post by grey580
 

Agreed, never do the chasing. Let them come to you. If you are confident and attractive enough(or have tons of cash) they will flock to you.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:33 PM
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alot of guys who call themselves nice are in reality, creepy and very needy and wonder why women dont want them.


The reality of the matter is some women wont want you, others will.You can do do nothing other than be yourself. Attempting to put on an act that you think will attract women will only lead to failure.

The best advice is if you get turned down dont become a sad sack or even worse become one of those bitter guys who think all women are alike.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:33 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


No, not always. I have a good wife whom I have been with for over 20 years. The reason is because I don't cheat, talk to her respectfully and never ever use violence. The way you have to look at it is if you are a "Nice Guy" to your lady and it does not work out it is either the woman is a "trampy" piece of dirt who does not deserve to be loved or it is a compatibility issue which means she is a good person but it was just not meant to work out. If it is compatibility it has nothing to with being or not being a nice guy. To other men (with exception to my family and close friends) I am not a nice guy to most (not all) of them.

Chin up man it will happen if you want it bad enough. Easy to say but very true.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:37 PM
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reply to post by DarthMuerte
 


Don't say that man what's wrong with you.
Please don't act this way with any woman.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:39 PM
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Originally posted by grey580
reply to post by DarthMuerte
 


Don't say that man what's wrong with you.
Please don't act this way with any woman.
30 years of dating experience tell me exactly what the majority of women want. I have dated women of different races, nationalities, and religions. By and large, they are all the same.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:42 PM
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Originally posted by DarthMuerte

Originally posted by grey580
reply to post by DarthMuerte
 


Don't say that man what's wrong with you.
Please don't act this way with any woman.
30 years of dating experience tell me exactly what the majority of women want. I have dated women of different races, nationalities, and religions. By and large, they are all the same.


No it doesn't tell you what the majority want given you haven't dated the majority of the populace inhabiting this earth


Further many people get caught up in a cycle of dating the same type of person thus they ,in their clouded judgement conclude the opposite sex must be all alike based on their own poor choices in mates.
edit on 21-2-2012 by paganini because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:43 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


So here is my take (from experience). Girls go for the "bad boys" up until college ends, typically. Why? Because in high school and college when the particular bad boy they are interested in no longer does it for them they move on. And there are plenty more like him high school and college. After college they sudden realize the world does not revolve around them and they start to realize the bad boy will never work out for a multitude of reasons.

My advice don't try so hard! Have fun and if your around a girl you like just be yourself and don't get caught up in thinking to much (usually telling someone to not think is a bad thing). You just act like yourself and you end up finding the one you were meant to find. I am not just spouting off a line of bull# here, I was in pretty much the same situation back in my younger days, it worked out for me.

And about your anxiety, man everyone has that in varies degrees. Something I learned in my life is there is no such thing a "normal" so don't try, just be yourself!

Anybody who doesn't like you for being yourself you don't want to be around anyway!



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:48 PM
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Originally posted by DarthMuerte

Originally posted by grey580
reply to post by DarthMuerte
 


Don't say that man what's wrong with you.
Please don't act this way with any woman.
30 years of dating experience tell me exactly what the majority of women want. I have dated women of different races, nationalities, and religions. By and large, they are all the same.


Good that you have 30 years. And yes the underlying needs and reactions in most women are same.
But I don't agree that you need to treat a woman like that.

I'm pushing at 40 myself and I have found that most women don't know what they want in a man themselves.
Women don't know what they want. But they know what they want when they see it.
And this is key.

If you display the characteristics and traits of an alpha male they will flock to you.
Bad boys are of the alpha male type. But women don't last long in those relationships. And I think that it's mostly because bad boys are missing their own self respect.

The OP needs to grow up and grow a pair but at the same time needs respect himself and not let any girl walk all over him.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:50 PM
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And all these other posters my God man! Don't turn him into some cynical bitter piece of # cause you have had issues with women. Sounds like he doesn't need help... you guys do!

Mossbe 89 don't take advice from anyone who tells you YOU have to change, that is absurd!



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:50 PM
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Originally posted by paganini

No it doesn't tell you what the majority want given you haven't dated the majority of the populace inhabiting this earth
It certainly gives me a larger statistical sample to extrapolate from then what most people have. Apply this data has given me a successful dating life. Of course, after trying the marriage thing, LTR's are the last thing on my mind. Like I said, most women are not worth my time, especially American women.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:52 PM
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reply to post by bphi1908
 
Sorry friend, but women in their 30s and 40s still act the same way. They do not want what they say they want. That is the truth.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:55 PM
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Originally posted by DarthMuerte
reply to post by bphi1908
 
Sorry friend, but women in their 30s and 40s still act the same way. They do not want what they say they want. That is the truth.



Having dated women in this age gap ive experienced the opposite. Perhaps you've continually associated with flakes?



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 02:56 PM
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Originally posted by bphi1908
And all these other posters my God man! Don't turn him into some cynical bitter piece of # cause you have had issues with women. Sounds like he doesn't need help... you guys do!

Mossbe 89 don't take advice from anyone who tells you YOU have to change, that is absurd!


Incorrect! He does have to change.
Now I don't mean he needs to change and become an insensitive jerk.
But he needs to grow and become a better man.
And there's nothing wrong with that.



posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 03:00 PM
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no nice guys don't finish last.

wussy beta's finish last. Girls want someone who is alpha as #.

Its pretty simple, you need to show that your no push over, you can still be nice.





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