reply to post by ZombiePatriot
I know how you feel, for what it's worth. Five years ago we bought a pub, nice and small, easy to manage so we ran it as a family of three plus one
temp person every now and again during holiday season. We tried to keep our overheads as low as possible so we did absolutely everything ourselves
which meant having almost zero free time and most of the time when I had free time I caught up on some sleep so it was literally work and sleep up
until December of last year. I just couldn't take it anymore, I also started feeling like I didn't really exist which was mostly due to the fact
that you work with people always having a good time, or at least from my point of view it looked that way. but you can never really join in because if
you do you probably end up drunk, giving booze away for free and that's bad for business. Like I said, last December after one of many uncalled for
rage attacks on my family I told them enough is enough, either we sell the place or I start bashing peoples heads in, so luckily we sold the place.
Anyway, I still felt like crap, mostly sleeping all the time, not having any drive what so ever, not eating properly or ever feeling hungry for that
matter so I went to see a Doctor. Unfortunately for me not being on some sort of medical scheme I had to go to a clinic which was a big mistake
because those Doctors, obviously also hating their jobs, getting crappy government salaries, not being able to drive a fancy car and play golf all the
time, couldn't care less so ten minutes later he told me. your depressed, have some pills and don't kill yourself. Only good the pills did is they
made me calm and relaxed which was good but when I did get upset it was almost as if the drugs made me "block out" emotions so it made me edgy again
so the Doctor in all his wisdom gave me stronger pills which literally turned me into a zombie.
Long story short, I knew I had to summon up what strength I could summon up and really take matters into my own hands so I said to myself "I know who
I was before and I want that back more than anything and I also know no-one can really save me except myself" so I took some personal responsibility
by trying to eat as healthy as possible, very little read meat, lots of fish, almost no coffee and no more candies. I also made a promise to myself
that I will run at least once a day and even if I feel like crap, I put on my running shoes and I run. I started off slowly, maybe jogging around the
block but I soon realized it's not good enough, I had to run, like really really run as fast as I can for as long as I can, till I can feel my heart
pounding throughout my whole body, I'd sometimes get mad and when I do I just run harder. In the end, instead of bottling up emotions by ignoring
them do physical exercise till you're tired and then do some more till you reach the limit of exhaustion.
In conclusion, if you can afford professional counseling, take it, but remember, those people are like tools, they get paid to listen so tell them,
tell them everything, just let it out, cry if you have to, raise your voice if you have to but make sure you let it out. Also, remember, and this is
very important, you are not insignificant, you have already changed the face of the universe, setting things in motion so vast that no-one can ever
comprehend the difference one individual makes just by living and keep on living. Everything you touch, every time you exhale, every word you speak
and every person you see you leave an imprint, a small part of you influencing everything around you from the tiny atom to the stars above. Meditate
on this and realize, the universe will not be the same without you and it is your responsibility as a the marvelous, multidimensional, thinking
creature that you are to stick around and do what you always, inching your way towards the unconscious goal we all set out at the moment we enter this
realm. You cannot go wrong and you cannot fail, you cannot cease to go forward it's just so much easier for yourself if you realize that you are a
part of the divine. Even the most mundane of things you do spiral into something so big it's beyond our comprehension. See this, know this and live
it every day. We need YOU to be nothing else but YOU.
We all start off as a little seed, a tiny spark of the divine and even though we may not notice it we end spanning the whole of the universe through
our actions, good or bad.
I wish only peace for you and for everyone everywhere, even seemingly soulless politicians, they all do what they're supposed to to and that is to
impose a sense of slavery upon us all so that we can eventually break free and true freedom can prevail, it's all just a matter of time. Just
remember, it's a game and we all win unless we choose not to play in which case we gain nothing