Something I wrote on a whim. Something I hope you may help me with.

Eye feel that eye have let my family, my countrymen, my friends, and my Gods down.
Eye would love nothing more than to redeem myself in one fatal swoop.
Eye have worked night and day for music.
Eye have worked night and day my fingers to the bone with blood, sweat, and tears for architectural trophies.
Eye have honed these crafts just to be let down over and over.
Eye think that it may be time to fulfill my destiny.
DO WHAT THOU WILT SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW. - A.C.
Maybe my will is to fight.
Eye am better at fighting than what eye have devoted my life to thus far...
Here is my dilemma with this idea:
Eye am just as good, if not better at keeping peace, than fighting.
It makes sense though when eye remember the rest:
LOVE IS THE LAW, LOVE UNDER WILL.- A.C.
And then there is this:
LOVE AND HATE ARE HORNS ON THE SAME GOAT- Myself
Time to start over here?

reply to post by AnimositisominA

the holy books of thelema drove crowley bitter,then mad!!!
be carefull

I wrote something on a napkin once.

reply to post by reficul


I thought that I would try to get a general take on this before I brought it before the people who follow Thelema. This idea of mine may run deeper than what has been written so far. I am sure that I'm not the only one to question it. I'm at a crossroads here. Its very important to me.

reply to post by AnimositisominA


Got kicked put of the band? Man, I know what that feels like.

Still, becoming The Dark Lord of the Underworld isn't the answer. 99.7% of bands fail miserably within the first year, so give it time and some of them creeps will be calling you to see if you're still playing and want to put a new act together. Take the time and write some songs. Songs about how effed up everyone is. It worked for Kurt Cobain, and it could work for you too.

reply to post by AnimositisominA


dont take it personnally, the way everything now is connected to u is the objective proof that it is not u

seek ur true freedom sense out of it by trying to see it in perspective of else fact even if it is also to objective truth

reply to post by AnimositisominA


good luck on your quest friend.
the true art of magick is finding your own inner hell,and demons.
then,you can work on conquering them. only then will the path of truth be limitless!

To think that good doesn't kick arse as well is ignorant. Go and be. If you're good be good. If you're evil be evil. But do not attempt to convey yourself as something you are not. Whatever your path I wish you well.

I truly believe that in order to reach the light, you have to go through the dark. Is there not a better way to control the positive and negative of a situation then knowing both completely. Safe passage my friend.

PLPL

Most of the teachings of Crowley are not at all exclusive to Thelema. "Do as thou wilt, that shall be the whole of the law" and "love is the law, love under will" are teachings as old as recorded history and run deeply into mysticism and Eastern religions/philosophies.

You can only ever do what you will. Nobody can force you to do, think, feel, or say anything. You choose that for yourself. I think this is the message Crowley taught, who was not some evil, demon worshipping madman like contemporary society and modern history made/make him out to be. I believe he was trying to tell us that we are not slaves or mindless animals that react according to our instincts or emotions, and that we have the ability to change our world, manifest our will. That's all magic is, the physical manifestation of our will. Any writer, artist, or even parents who create a child are performing a sort of magic.

His mind was incredible, and I feel he knew and saw things normal humans would have trouble understanding. This is why we have rites, symbols, expressions, and words that try to put this into a more palpable form.

reply to post by AnimositisominA


See me in you.
See you in the world.

See the trophy of your triumph in the crown of your enemy.
See the order of your purpose in the chaos of the universe.

See the glory of your life in the rise and fall of the people.
See yourself not, see not the world, see not the things that are you, see not the thing you are.

See the sight of blind men.

Hear me in you.
Listen to yourself in the voice of the world.

The symphony of life playing the perfect song. The greatest song in the world being sung in echo of its tribute.

The graves of wise men, the graves of heroes.
The cribs of kings, the cribs of warriors.
The end into the beginning, the beginning flowing into the end. endless birth, certain death.

The measure of great harmony is the measure of the melody that its choir can carry.

Hear the epic song of simple silence. Sing the heart beat that is you. Speak the mind of that which is mute.

The fresh, cool stream of rebirth flows into the tired and charred and washes away their misery.

The soft living rain falls upon our lips and spills into our thirsty, dry mouths. We smile earnestly and sincerely as the first drop splashes and explodes upon our tongues.

The warrior, the defender of peace. The war- The peace.
Sometimes the two are one, sometimes they are opposed.
Always each is true to its purpose. Always their triumph is the unity of their common victory.

When the warrior and the peace are one, they are eternal. When they flow opposed yet true to themselves, both perish. The eternal warrior is the peaceful warrior. The defender of peace is not the war, it's the warrior.

reply to post by AnimositisominA


With each and every attachment We make here, the further down the Inverted Rabbit Hole We go, which is the mirror opposite of the true Rabbit Hole, the Chasm of Truth. Until you can see how your attachments are binding you to this fake reality, you will be a slave to it but you don't have to cut the strings, just see them for what they are, then start pulling them how you want them to be pulled, all the while knowing that no matter how hard you pull on them, your control of them is one of the greatest illusions of this reality.

You are kNot in Control of yoU!

Why?

There is no sPoon!

There is no y0u!

Welcome to the Sandbox of the Real, the Sandbox of WE the Souls, the Children of God/Source.

Ribbit

Thank you all for your magnificent replys. They all hit a nerve. Yes, even they guy who wrote something on a napkin once. lol

I have decided to hang it all up for a while and "wander the desert" so to speak.
I find it may be the happy medium between being a broke, successful peaceful musician and tradesman or falling back into the void of violence, death, destruction, hate, fear, and insanity. Although, it is almost like an addiction for each paths that blur them to one. Time for a break. Enough insanity. O.T.O has shown great interest in me, but something just doesn't seem right. At least for now.
Perhaps I don't want to be judged. For good or ill.
I thank you all for not judging me.