So some jerk is parked in my driveway...

OK, so this is by no means top secret, hence the rant forum.

But I just got home from a long day at work, and some fool is parked in my driveway.

I own my house (as much as anyone can own a piece of property in America), and this clown has parked his pink (I am not kidding) Mustang in front of my house. In my spot. As in, my spot alone.

I've considered a few possible tactics here, anything from slashing tires to breaking windows, but to be honest, I'm not a total dick (if that word will not set off the automatic censors), and I have no desire to spend the night in jail.

For the love of God/Buddha/Allah, what have you, what can I do at this point? I'm thinking about just having this ridiculous pink car towed, but that's just too easy, and probably won't get the point across.

So I'll leave it up to ATS (probably not the best idea), but any suggestions here?

Be serious or not, as I could use a laugh after the day I've had...

You know what I would do? I would park right behind the mustang, so close that you can't even fit your leg between the two cars. When this person wants to go...they can't because you're right behind. I seriously recommend this.
When they angrily come and knock on your front door...ask the morons why did they park in your spot? Maybe you could even go on a walk or something so that they don't go anywhere!

yes it's irritating, but no need to bust a blood vessel over it. go to your neighbours, find out if he's visiting any of them, locate owner and ask politely if they could move their car as you need to park yours. it doesn't have to be confrontational. you don't know why they parked in YOUR spot, could be an emergency, but either way it's not that important in the grand scheme of things is it... go and ask nicely, smile and be understanding, and this simple incident won't cloud your enjoyment of your time at home tonight.

reply to post by VariableConstant


hi op

leave a note in his/her windscreen
explain that if damages accur
you are not held responsible (cough)

Write REDRUM on his rear windshield with lipstick.

take a massive sht on the bonnet

reply to post by VariableConstant


Ive had that problem before and you might not think this will work but it did for me.

Ask the person not to park over your drive.

Originally posted by ladyteeny
yes it's irritating, but no need to bust a blood vessel over it. go to your neighbours, find out if he's visiting any of them, locate owner and ask politely if they could move their car as you need to park yours. it doesn't have to be confrontational. you don't know why they parked in YOUR spot, could be an emergency, but either way it's not that important in the grand scheme of things is it... go and ask nicely, smile and be understanding, and this simple incident won't cloud your enjoyment of your time at home tonight.

Good advice, thank you. I was a bit angry when I pulled in to my house but you are right, it is a minor thing in the grand scheme.

Originally posted by Enlightenme1111
Write REDRUM on his rear windshield with lipstick.

Nice, I sprayed a bit of beer on my computer reading that.

Originally posted by n00bUK
take a massive sht on the bonnet

If only I had eaten burritos today.

Happens to me all the time, as I live right next to a doctor's office with lots of patients, who are sometimes desperate to find a parking spot as his parking lot is usually completely filled up with patient's cars.

Usually I just go into that office and pronounce loudly "Could the driver of the black Mercedes (or whatever) *PLEASE* move his car out of my driveway?!" Sometimes more polite, sometimes more harshly, depending on my overall mood.

The last resort is getting his car towed, up to now I never needed to do this - waste of time and money, if the driver returned BEFORE the tow-car, because I would have to pay for it then. I can't call the police for towing it away, as it is a not-necessary way for firetrucks to my house, so they would just shrug their shoulders and tell me to be patient..

I think in the olden days that carriage and horse would be yours to keep! I mean car!

Ah well.

Yes, pooping on the automobile seems like a good idea in any case. With smearing motions afterward.

Is the car in your driveway or parked on the street in front of your house? If in your driveway kick the bumper and see if they have an alarm. If parked on the street your sol that belongs to the city.

Originally posted by Enlightenme1111
Write REDRUM on his rear windshield with lipstick.

Didn't get it first, but LOLed then. Nice one..

reply to post by buster2010


That works nicely, too! You don't have to kick it, just lean heavy on the cars fender to *bump* it a little, usually the alarm gets started.

Tried and tested, works fine!

If you have kids I also suggest inviting their friends over for an impromptu party, where everyone plays "who can jump on the car the most."


It's a great game.



Kids love it.

Originally posted by buster2010
Is the car in your driveway or parked on the street in front of your house? If in your driveway kick the bumper and see if they have an alarm. If parked on the street your sol that belongs to the city.

Oh, it's in my driveway. And I'll admit, I put the boot to it, though not enough to make a dent. Part of me wanted to leave my mark, but maybe, just maybe, it is an emergency, as someone else pointed out. I'd feel pretty bad if someone's grandfather was having a stroke and I kicked the $%#@ out of their car...

Originally posted by VariableConstant

Originally posted by ladyteeny
yes it's irritating, but no need to bust a blood vessel over it. go to your neighbours, find out if he's visiting any of them, locate owner and ask politely if they could move their car as you need to park yours. it doesn't have to be confrontational. you don't know why they parked in YOUR spot, could be an emergency, but either way it's not that important in the grand scheme of things is it... go and ask nicely, smile and be understanding, and this simple incident won't cloud your enjoyment of your time at home tonight.

Good advice, thank you. I was a bit angry when I pulled in to my house but you are right, it is a minor thing in the grand scheme.

you could go one further... tell them what time you're usually home from work and that they're welcome to use your driveway before that time (if you can handle that)







alternatively, let the air out of all their tyres and explain that you hope it inconveniences them as much as they've inconvenienced you!

Originally posted by ladyteeny

Originally posted by VariableConstant

Originally posted by ladyteeny
yes it's irritating, but no need to bust a blood vessel over it. go to your neighbours, find out if he's visiting any of them, locate owner and ask politely if they could move their car as you need to park yours. it doesn't have to be confrontational. you don't know why they parked in YOUR spot, could be an emergency, but either way it's not that important in the grand scheme of things is it... go and ask nicely, smile and be understanding, and this simple incident won't cloud your enjoyment of your time at home tonight.

Good advice, thank you. I was a bit angry when I pulled in to my house but you are right, it is a minor thing in the grand scheme.

you could go one further... tell them what time you're usually home from work and that they're welcome to use your driveway before that time (if you can handle that)

alternatively, let the air out of all their tyres and explain that you hope it inconveniences them as much as they've inconvenienced you!

Well, since they have completely blocked my access, I was forced to park 100 yards down the road in a lava field, which was certainly an inconvenience.

I initially placed four large rocks behind every tire, so that the ridiculous pink Mustang could not reverse out of my driveway, but then I calmed down and took the rocks away. That just seemed like a bit too much, but painting REDRUM on the rear window is sounding like a good idea...

Drano bomb? I suppose if you REALLY wanted to go the "non-violent" method...I like the poo idea...poo's always a nice classic...