You've heard it all before; long time lurker etc... It is nearly 5 am in the morning local time, rather than lurking as usual, something has driven me
to finally sign up and say something, anything... I find talking about myself rather hard, I'm not a particularly interesting person if you were to
ever see me out and about. I live on a little island state off the main land of Australia, they call this place Tasmania, 'Van Diemen's Land' in times
I'm soon to be 21 years of age. Perhaps first a little more background on who I am, then I'll get around to what brings me to ATS. I've lived a very
strange life so far. For as long as I can remember, I've felt different to other people, mostly on the outer of social groups and situations. My
relationships have been tragic and bizarre from an outside perspective, I was a Leonard Cohen type figure at the age of 13-18. From all the
information I've managed to gather, I think i may have what they call 'Aspergers syndrome'... Personally, I just think I see things for what they are,
beyond the bull#, and always have done so.
I'm a musician in my spare time, which is all the time, as there is very little employment to be had in Tasmania, unless you happen to be very good
at selling yourself (which I am not)... There is also very little opportunity for a musician here (I'm talking folk, blues, good old fashioned heavy
metal in the vein of Sabbath, even a little country...) unless you happen to play something trendy and have 1000 facebook friends ready to attend your
A few years ago, I had an experience, that I understand I'm not allowed to discuss here, suffice to say it was profound and eye opening. At some point
last year I became aware of this site in my quest for truth. My quest now turned from an inner journey of personal understanding to one of world wide
understanding. I've been here, and I've read nearly all there is to read about certain topics, here and on other sites, books, etc... I sat watching
there live feeds as my brothers and sisters tried to kick of a revolution oh so foolishly, wishing I could be there with them rather than be impotent
on this little rock where no one gives a damn about the world as a whole.
The situation in Tasmania is utter ****. Me being who I am, I'm not great with small talk, and these people, living the comfortable, sheltered lives
they do, have no concern for much other than their next pay check and when they will be getting drunk on the weekend. We are very sheltered as far as
world events go, no one has much of a clue. The media here is a joke... The people are dim witted and oblivious, but for this I don't hate them nor
hold a grudge, for I know all too well this is to be expected. Most people are unhappy with their lifestyle, trying to out do each other with the bit
of money they do have... And yet there are still those that are very rich, exclusive and snobby, that have their own little piece of the pie on this
island, buying their way into politics and such... Very slowly, our heath system, education system, economy, tourism, job market, in fact most things
about this place are slowly going down the toilet, in a very slow, deliberate fashion. Just slow enough so as to not alarm anyone, and just obvious
enough to really fire me up
And so I write this now in some kind of desperation, knowing full well not many will read nor care what I'm saying. Those of you that do read this and
wonder, 'what is this guy on about', I'd be very happy to tell you, but it only gets crazier from here on in. I'm completely fed up, I've become
detached and isolated from all but 3 of my friends, I've lost the ability to interact with people in a way that isn't extreme or laughed at. I sit,
powerless, watching the world slowly crumble and burn, from the very bottom, sheltered away, unable to join the revolution, unable to start one. My
gift is in seeing the truth, my curse is the inability to communicate it.
edit on 14-2-2012 by Tasmanaut because: spelling error
edit on 14-2-2012 by Tasmanaut because: another spelling
edit on 14-2-2012 by Tasmanaut because: ANOTHER mistake...