Giving up facebook? Day 3 for me, and it's hard.

This is my first thread here on ATS, and i thought what i'm about to post is probably quite necessary, as it provokes thought on facebook, as well as our social interaction on the internet in general. Please mind the size, but again, i want to put it out there.

I figured it would be more on the health and wellbeing side of things as far as forum categories goes, but mods, please feel free to move this if you feel it's not quite suitable. Thankyou!

Okay, so i am (well, hopefully not for long) a facebook addict of 3 years? I think? Well a long time. I joined facebook at a time that it hadn't quite gained mainstream popularity yet, and was just a small site that was shared amongst a few. I hated it at the time because it required your full name, and simply didn't like that one thing about it.
Also, it was when myspace was at it's prime, and as a 18 year old, i was hanging more towards the popular site that my mates all used - At the time, myspace was a great social platform, that i become very keen on using.

When i finally got dragged into facebook, it deepened. It was great. At the time. I posted random sh*t, made a few comments.
But over a year, it became more serious, more "friends", useless posts, rants, online fights/keyboard warrior, etc. (That's what i make of it now - at the time, i took it seriously).

As it was, a good friend of mine decided he found my posts useless, but not enough to make a song and dance about it. Things escalated when i made up a joke page taking on the persona of a "train line" here in my extremely multicultural city. However, i take racism very seriously, and always maintained the page as a satire on all races - not just the one.
One girl decided to condemn a post regarding the drinking habits of the indigenous race of my country, labelling it as racist (while disregarding all the other posts making fun of my own race as well).

But i'm digressing. My good mate through high school decided to take her side and lose me as a good friend.
I wasn't worried, as he had problems anyway.

Just a year ago, i went in and deleted 90% of my friends because they were nobodies to me.

But just the other day, a closer mate told me over lunch some very interesting words. I went to post something to his wall, and he joked "Daniel, you don't know yet?". I said "what?", and he replied "i deleted you".
After some questioning, he told me that a lot of what i was posting was exhausting (to him) and the deletion was for his sanity (never thought i'd have such an effect on someone).
We went through all my posts and he got my to realise (which became more obvious), that my posts generally started with "i". I was obviously showing a very self centred internet persona that he stated was very counter productive to my own time.

I had contemplated deleting it before, but i just got sick at this point. I went home and deactivated it (not deleted). It was fine for a couple of hours.... Then it hit me.

The withdrawals.

I'm not kidding. Every 5 minutes i was going to firefox to open up facebook. I don't smoke, so i have nothing to compare it to, but some people associated it with a smoking addiction.

Day 1 was quite hard. I was going to log in every 5 minutes (which i stopped myself)
Day 2 was met with questions, like "what am i going to do now?", "what if i get invited to somewhere on facebook?", how do i talk to people? I actually forgot what people look like.
Now it's day 3, and after realising i can't go on facebook, i'm seriously stuck. There is no site i go on now other than ATS, and maybe some diy sites. But i feel a big side of me has disappeared, and i'm unable to move.

Anyway, i want to ask people on their opinions. Has anyone here ever had to deal with internet addiction - namely social networking sites. Has anyone actually given up, and how did they find it?

I've actually asked myself today how i'm going to meet people now, and feel like i've just thrown myself in an isolated hole in the middle of a desert. What are some suggestions on what i SHOULD be doing? This sort of raises the question "how did the older people deal without such proximity between one another".

the only reason i use facebook is to rant!!! i,ve had many a post removed for questionable contents!
as for internet addiction,man your on the wrong site!!! ATS WILL CONSUME YOU!!!!
hope ya fun here,and ya gotta be nice! ive had a few slaps on the wrist by the mods (sorry guys!)
peace

Facebook is draining, I use it however I have only 30 friends on it which mainly consist of a couple of work mates and family, I now mainly use it subscribe to alternative media, and media such as RT which gives me the punch to bring something to ATS rather quickly other than that I generally lurk around ATS lol even
Now I'm at work in my phone lurking and posting

reply to post by reficul


hahaha thanks mate! ATS never really sparked a massive interest from me. It was always a thing i'd do when i'm bored, and keen for alternative news - things that they don't usually tell you on the news.

Plus, people are more willing to share ideas - well most anyway.

I plan to restrict my habits online now, and hope this abandonment of facebook will show me that i could be doing better things with my time, as i want the change.

Originally posted by AlanQaida
Now I'm at work in my phone lurking and posting

At work? Sheesh. I just noticed your from here! I'm sitting at my desk relaxing with some coffee which is what YOU should be doing! hahahaha

I have a facebook account... Never used it. Simply because it does not comply with me as a person. I'm more of a get outside and meet up with some friends. You say you don't know what to do to cope with withdrawl, well I'm a smoker, two years ago I had quit for about 8-9 months cold turkey. What really helped me out was taking walks ( not an around the block but a good 2-3 hours walking with my mp3 playing my favourite tool songs and others. And why don't you go to a friends house or have a friend over you'll see that being on facebook made you feel probably less alone. Well if you hang with your friends and talk about whatever, you won't feel the need to go online to have these discussions at the end of the day because you will have discussed them ( in a way more civilised intelligent way than on fb ).

So go out my friend, there is no life on facebook, it's everywhere around you brother.
People Love you brother, reach out to these people and Love you shall recieve.
Peace Love and understanding

Originally posted by xxdaniel21

Originally posted by AlanQaida
Now I'm at work in my phone lurking and posting

At work? Sheesh. I just noticed your from here! I'm sitting at my desk relaxing with some coffee which is what YOU should be doing! hahahaha

Haha not much of a coffee fan! Well not hot coffee lol Brisbane takes that appeal away with the heat

No I'm just sitting amongst machinery in my car being devoured by mozzies listening to nova and lurking

reply to post by NoLoveInFear46and2


Now that's a comment! Maybe i was too reliant. I plan on doing everything you posted!

Thanks!

There is no "proximity" on Facebook that would be comparable to anything like real, life friends.

Look, I'm "following" about 300 to 400 newsfeeds via feedreader et.al., but I'm neither a "friend" nor a "follower", I'm a reader. Same goes for all your "friends" on FB. Not a single one of them would do things for you any real friend would do.

Take a look at these writings: About social media. Or this one (funny, only in German and definitely NSFW in words): Stupidedia on Facebook.

Originally posted by AlanQaida

Originally posted by xxdaniel21

Originally posted by AlanQaida
Now I'm at work in my phone lurking and posting

At work? Sheesh. I just noticed your from here! I'm sitting at my desk relaxing with some coffee which is what YOU should be doing! hahahaha

Haha not much of a coffee fan! Well not hot coffee lol Brisbane takes that appeal away with the heat

No I'm just sitting amongst machinery in my car being devoured by mozzies listening to nova and lurking

haha i'm from perth. and it's too hot here, but the breeze is finally coming in. It's still early!

Originally posted by xxdaniel21

Originally posted by AlanQaida

Originally posted by xxdaniel21

Originally posted by AlanQaida
Now I'm at work in my phone lurking and posting

At work? Sheesh. I just noticed your from here! I'm sitting at my desk relaxing with some coffee which is what YOU should be doing! hahahaha

Haha not much of a coffee fan! Well not hot coffee lol Brisbane takes that appeal away with the heat

No I'm just sitting amongst machinery in my car being devoured by mozzies listening to nova and lurking

haha i'm from perth. and it's too hot here, but the breeze is finally coming in. It's still early!

Perth is nice, I previously worked in kalgoorlie for a bit, miss the dry heat haha! So what work keeps you in an office this hour of the evening lol.

Facebook as a social tool is probably the worst thing in the world, i found that i ended up not speaking to friends for extended periods of time, why, because you just see an update, there is no interaction. Facebook has nothing to do with social communication and everything to do with datamining.

Originally posted by FFS4000
Facebook as a social tool is probably the worst thing in the world, i found that i ended up not speaking to friends for extended periods of time, why, because you just see an update, there is no interaction. Facebook has nothing to do with social communication and everything to do with datamining.

I agree, Facebook has basically become the ultimate de-socialization tool, it basically creates "cubical" networks, everywhere you go you are basically in a cubicle, you interact via the phone or pc, I found I couldn't talk to a lot of
People in person who I spoke to on Facebook purely because the way they interact on Facebook is ideally there "true" persona, and what would be considered an inappropriate conversation in person or in public becomes acceptable on a digital wall for many to see.

I have studied (stalked ) heaps of people in fb with open profiles, see what they are saying on others profiles, watching people back stab each other with poor privacy settings is amusing.

I remember when I was a kid (about 10) I had to catch a bus to my grand parents, was about 3 hours travel, back then everyone talked on the bus, shared stories, had fun, now most people simply have there faces buried in there phones, on Facebook.

Sad really.

whew lol never had a facebook page and never will.

Honestly you sound nuts, get up get out and live your life. If you truly have friends you will speak to them and do things with them.

Give em a call, invite them over for a beer. Go for a walk and meet someone. Basically get a life, and a hobby and all else will follow.

reply to post by AlanQaida


I'm at home... hahaha chilling

reply to post by Haites


Such a gentle manner of saying "get a life". Do yo know that to somebody in this situation who has become socially awkward, telling them to get a life can be quite offensive and hurting. You basically summed up what I sais but in an aggressive manner. And don't call out crazie on something like this, go on the politics threads, the war threads the threads where people get all riled up because of their ideals.

Peace and much Love my brother
And, today, try giving one person a little Love just a little and do it for yourself. If we all did so we'd be in a way better place that we are now.

reply to post by Haites


Oh, well i did all that while i had facebook - i just had that as well. I still go out. Don't let this come across as anti-social, I don't sit in my room all day on facebook.

Keep in mind, i've gone out a bit, and seen the # side of my city - it just makes me wanna do my own thing half the time. I've gotten bored of that, and it's difficult to find something new to start up.

Just ideas man, no need for hostility.

Cheers

You should try some martial arts, maybe Brazilian ju jitsu? It's not all about fighting etc, you learn alot about yourself and self discipline it's great!

I also started my own business lol and started a family anyhow I'm off to bed my friend I'll check back later

I've had a facebook page since about 2009. Deleted mine last week and haven't looked back one single time. And when my mom started telling me about how I had "missed out" on the big cat-fight between two of my cousins yesterday morning, I knew for certain I had made the correct choice in deactivating my profile. I mean really? Watching my family members hurt each other with words on the internet is supposed to be entertainment? And it's supposed to be entertainment of such a quality that it is worth having my personal information out there floating around for the taking??

I think not.

Just my opinion...

My apologies to all if i came off as hostile. I get told that everyday from various people. My intent was not to hurt more of a tuff love approach, and perhaps my disdain for social gathering sites (including ats) my only crutch.

But will throw that away in a heart beat when it comes down to it. I desire a world to be free of FB as well as other sites. Even though im only 32 the gap from someone being 22 is tremendous. Maybe im from a bye gone era, But where i came from we didnt need the internet to get a hold of someone i simply called them. And if that failed and i couldnt get them on the phone i simply would knock on their door.

i do not understand the need to have 8,000 friends that are not my friends. But im also a minimalist and if i havnt used it within the last 6 months i dont need it, and simply toss it out.