Does anyone "feel" like I do?

Whenever I go through something like a break up, I get extremely depressed. I wake up with my stomach hurting. I'll be fine and suddenly find myself staring into space thinking about all the stuff going on. I literally feel pain in my chest. Like a pulsing feeling. I obsess over the thought of how things happened and what the other person might be doing. Actually the last three relationships have been the only times this has happened. In each of them there were other men involved.

I just feel rejected. And I'm worried that this is going to ruin me for future relationships. I already see that in myself. I get so nervous about getting hung out to dry again that I make myself sick with worry.

It's just miserable. I'll do something to forget about it for a minute, but then something reminds me of her and I start spiraling. I feel physical pain. It's more like a pressure of some sort. I just feel like I'm in a fog and I can't escape it.

I know this sounds like I'm just complaining. And i would totally agree with you. Fact is I'm a pretty closed off person to people I'm not close to. People think I don't care about anything. The majority of things that happen to me in life don't effect me like this. The only thing that has gotten me to this point is going through the crap I've been through with relationships for about the last four years. I hate feeling like this and I wish i could stop. But it just won't go away.

So tell me. Is feeling like this normal? I don't care if it sounds like a stupid question. I've never asked it before. How do I get past it?

reply to post by stonedogdiary


Time heals all wounds.

It's absolutely normal.
My advice would be to maybe not get in such a serious relationship. In other words, don't get so attached to a girl. There are a lot of fish in the sea my friend. Go out and sample as many as you can. Enjoy being with women, not being with A woman. This will give you much less heartache. I'm not saying you should use women, make sure it's a mutual relationship. This works for some people not all, but maybe it can work for you.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


I suggest you meditate, it has helped me alot through my hard times being depressive for the past 12 years. Find a nice spot in your house, somewhere you feel at ease and either sit/lay down, dim the lights, close your eyes, tame deep breaths as to slow down your heart rate and concentrate on your innerself. Find that place in your subconscious where the hurt is, and learn what it is, listen to what your insides are telling you, what to do with your life, your true desires that you tried to fill in with someone.

Someone, anybody will never make you truly happy, you gotta do it for yourself first.
Love yourself brother because I Love you and I'm sure lots of people Love you, feel the Love spread the Love and it'll just bounce right back at you!!
Peace and much Love

Originally posted by stonedogdiary
So tell me. Is feeling like this normal?

It sure is Well that's just my opinion. I used to feel like that all the time after a break-up. I only really understood over time I felt that way. Having a great relationship with that someone special also definitely helps put things into perspective.

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is the lute that soothers your spirit the very wood that was hallowed with knives?
- Kahlil Gibran

There is someone out there for you, and they will effortlessly translate that previous pain into unimaginable joy.
U2U me if you would like to chat some more. I honestly wish you all the best

ETA: Great advice from the person above this post.

Gosh i feel so sorry for you having this right now, Been there got the tshirt!

Really you just have to keep thinking positive, Dont waste your life "wondering" "over thinking" Life is precious,

I spent along time in that mode in my 20's and i wish i could go back and waste less time,

Every relationship teaches you something new, Good or bad and only readies us for knowing who we are and what we want, you will know what to look out for in the future. Think of it as a lesson x

Dont let anyone ruin your future happiness as that "mr/mrs right" may just come along and the last thing you want is some Ex partner messing that chance up because you cant get over the past emotions,

Hard i know xx I wish you well,

Get yourself out there and enjoy being you! enjoy being single Figure out what you want x

they call that being heart broken, and yes it's been happening for thousands of years

reply to post by stonedogdiary


From an outside perspective, I think this pattern shows a great deal of imbalance. You are depending on the love and approval of others for your own self worth and can't survive without it. Emotional pain even manifesting as physical pain. You are right, it truly is a downward spiral. Learn to love yourself before you love others. I've always found that to be very sage advice.

But I think you'd get better responses in the Relationships forum. We often have a ton of these threads, all following the same theme.