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Parenting 101: how to instill respect for others.

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posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 11:19 AM
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reply to post by Saytan75

He could have sold the laptop on E-bay, he could have sat on it and broken it, headbutted it, punched it, put his fist through it, picked up and skimmed it across the ground, or stomped and put his foot through the damn thing and achieved the same result...

but no, he lets loose a clip of bullets into the laptop.

So you would be OK with this if he had punched the laptop instead of shooting it?

That seems a very confused opinion to me... but then again, I understand a lot of people have never been exposed to guns as some of us have. It just saddens me that you place such emphasis on the tool he chose to use and not on the message he was attempting to convey.

Understand, to a great many people, guns are not evil. They are tools. I have guns here, to use for shooting varmits (snakes, the occasional rabid animal, wild dogs, etc.), to be used for procuring food (hunting), and yes, to use as protection if I or my family are threatened. We do not have police protection to any real extent here; by the time the police respond to a call, all that is left is cleanup. Understand there are still places that far from the cities.

Like any tool, becoming competent with it requires practice, and there is a certain exhilaration from feeling the charge of powder go off while you are holding it. It is a feeling of controlled power. So people who like that feeling tend to target shoot quite a bit, and that gun becomes one of their favorite tools.

Does that mean they want to shoot people? Well, let me ask you something: I have a power drill that I really like. It is powerful, quiet, and has a magnetic bit holder. You could say it is one of my favorite tools. Now when I pick it up, I have a lot of different things I can do with it. I can use it as a power screwdriver. I can use it to make a hole in something to insert a bolt. I can use it with a buffer to polish a surface. With a small pump attachment I can use it to drain standing water.

I can also use it as a weapon. I can use it to drill a hole in water pipes and destroy property.

So do you assume every time you see someone with a drill they are going to hurt someone or destroy something?

Why not?

I think I already know your answer: because guns are made to kill and nothing else. True, but what are they made to kill? Is something wrong with killing a rabid animal? Doing so saves countless lives, not just other animals but potentially human lives as well. Killing a poisonous snake can save lives. Killing a feral dog can save lives. So that argument doesn't hold.

Perhaps because so many guns are used to kill people while drills are not used to do so as much. That means you are blaming an object for the actions of its user, again not a valid point.

The real answer is, because you are scared of guns. Period. And you allow that fear to control your opinions, your thoughts, and ultimately your actions. Worse, by allowing it to control you to such an extent, you harm others by removing their rights and their ability to conduct their lives as they see fit. You use an unfounded assumption to project your own fears onto others, in the process demonizing them for something you imagine.

The father chose to use a .45 to destroy the laptop. Fine. It does not matter how he destroyed it, but why he destroyed it. He did so because that laptop was being used by his daughter to hurt herself, no different than if he took away a knife she was trying to cut herself with.

That's the issue. Not your fear of firearms.

TheRedneck




posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 11:32 AM
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reply to post by Gseven

Now, bottom line...let's remove all of us out of the equation. That relationship is YEARS away from ever being healthy and healed. It was bad enough before, but now, he'll be lucky if she ever speaks to him again. Who won exactly?

No one won.

The daughter will probably rebel again, and probably in the process get herself into more trouble than she can get out of. The father will have failed if that happens. No winner, only losers.

But at least he is trying. The alternative is to sit back and let her run wild, which, if you will read the post above concerning the girl that use to live next door to me, is not a good thing. At least he is not throwing his hands up and saying "do as thou wilt".

In a perfect world, he would have disciplined her when she was younger, and this would not be necessary. But in my perfect world, the old biddy that likes to jump in parents' faces when they spat a misbehaving child in the store would be slapped up side her jaws every time she did it and the police wouldn't care.

We do not live in a perfect world.

But there is hope. Maybe, just maybe, at some later time in her life, this girl will wake up and realize that the old man might not have been perfect, but he at least cared. Maybe when that day comes she will learn to have a happier life. Maybe. Her dad may never see that day, if it does come, and he may spend the rest of his life feeling like a failure or being alienated by his daughter. But if she can pull herself out of the path she is on... he will have won the most important thing to him.

There is nothing more important to a parent than their children. Nothing, not life itself.

As I said once to my daughter: "I really would like to be your friend, but I have no choice but to be your daddy."

TheRedneck



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 11:33 AM
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Somehow people think strict punishment is ruining their kids, that's bs. The dad actually cares about his daughter and is trying to install some values and respect in her, I'd give him a pat on the back. I wish I had a father with the same sense as this guy growing up

This was in the local paper a couple months ago. An ungrateful teen writes a column writer complaining on all the rules her single mom puts on her.



DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl who has never been in trouble, but my mom treats me like I'm a criminal. She makes me go to church every Sunday. She makes me go to Catholic school, and I have to wear an ugly uniform. She won't help with my homework. She says, "I already did 10th grade." I can't wear halter tops, short shorts, a bikini or much makeup. If I tell her it's the style, she says, "Modesty is always in style."




DEAR EMOTIONALLY ABUSED: Wow! Your letter should be posted on every refrigerator in the country. Rarely do I hear about a parent who tries as hard as your mother does to do a diligent job. One day you will look back and thank her.


Please read the entire article

Source



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 11:39 AM
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He said he would put a bullet in her laptop if she did it again.So if he didnt go through with it his word meant nothing and she would walk all over him again.It seems alot of parents do that, make threats and dont carry them out so the kid learns he/she can get away with things.This is almost like getting her pants pulled down and spanked in public by posting it on her facbook which let her friends see it.Some kids need tough love.He was frustrated and tried many things I bet and had enough this time.I guess she has to go to work now and pay for her own laptop and maybe learn the value of things and respect. Then again even some kids dont learn that until it is too late and have kids of there own, then the penny sinks in and see that their parents were right .........as for soymilk he is trying to tell people how to run a marathon when he hasn't ran one ... you are being kind to your kid to train them to be respectful to others so they are a joy to be around...........this is a bad example but you train a dog to obey and be a joy to be around if you dont you begin to hate the dog because it craps and pisses everywhere and nips and bites........... people will begin to hate a kid the same way they will not want them around ............also like a spring if you squeeze it too hard then let it go it flies away but if you squeeze it and let it go slowly it stays in the same place...as with everything it is a balance



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 11:44 AM
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I think the problem today is that somebody's always afraid of offending somebody and too many take offense to things that have nothing to do with them. Maybe these good parents should just take their secrets to the grave


Here are some other responses to the aforementioned article.




DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher of many spoiled, lazy, irresponsible and incompetent students. If all parents were as dedicated in rearing their children as this teen's mother, my job would be wonderful. She has the necessary parenting skills to mold her child into a responsible, productive and mature adult. She's an awesome woman! -- TEACHER IN NASHVILLE, GA.





DEAR ABBY: It's refreshing to know there are still parents who actually care about how they raise their children. Bringing a child into this world is a tremendous responsibility. It requires years of 24/7 vigilance, teaching and love to produce a moral, loving and productive pillar of our society. Some parents today do not take their responsibility seriously. How we raise our children will directly affect how we function as a society in the future. -- CONCERNED DAD IN LAS VEGAS



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 11:54 AM
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Well we all know she is going to be that "one" chick when she hits college.
A girls hate for her father is a disturbing thing.

LOL but she did get out trolled.



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 12:02 PM
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reply to post by BO XIAN
 



THE TIME TO FIX


TEENAGE PROBLEMS


IS


AGES 0-6!


100% correct


DISCIPLINE


WITHOUT


***SUFFICIENT***


RELATIONSHIP


virtually always


PRODUCES


REBELLION.


...


PARTICULARLY


overblown,


out of touch, angry

"discipline"


Again 100% correct


It was WHETHER THE CHILD FELT LOVED, or not.


I knew this before I got 1/3 through your post. All of these things are what my wife and I have striven for with our children, and of course haven't always succeeded. But as with everything, it's a work in progress. We do our best to learn from our mistakes and not do what doesn't work.

For those who haven't lived with children in an authoritative role, you really have no idea how you would react until you're in those situations. What you think you would do is not necessarily what will actually happen. Until you have to think in your feet day in and day out, respond to their actions (or inactions), answer their questions, endure the stress of being depended upon, and just generally live every day hoping you don't screw up too badly , you really have no idea.

This is the same sentiment behind the phrase "every battle plan only survives until contact with the enemy." some things work, some don't and the ones tht do don't always apply in every situation. Children are people too, and are unique.

They're like arrows, you can aim them in the right direction, but once they're in flight, there's not a real easy way to change their trajectory.

The other stuff about the attack on the family unit. Yeah, that's pretty clear too.



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 12:12 PM
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reply to post by Revealation

It has indeed been a while! Good to see you again!

Forgive me just a moment, but this just has to be repeated:

The fact is we need to raise and ground our children in reality, because the majority of this country is nothing but a bunch of spoiled brats who can't handle the slightest inconvenience, nevermind when a real problem arises. The first response to the situation is a total breakdown and suicide.


My son says the same thing yours does, and my response is "Great! That means when your generation takes over, you will be one of the precious few who can actually thrive, and everyone else will be completely dependent on you. Use that!"

That may seem mean, but I didn't tell anyone to shirk their responsibilities, rely on others for necessities, ignore opportunities, or do just enough to get by. I have preached personal responsibility, excellence in performance, and self-sufficiency for many years. Now I just want to live long enough to see what I have warned others about come to pass. It looks like it may be sooner rather than later.

We need to get our kids together...


TheRedneck



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 12:33 PM
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reply to post by TheRedneck
 


OK, the vid is wicked funny. And we all know that teens can be absolutely maddening, so most of us who have had the opportunity to raise one can certainly commiserate. But the guy behaved like an ass. He really did.

To equate teaching respect with actions is pretty far off the mark. Teaching respect would have been to simply sit down and tell the girl how he felt and how hurt and disappointed he was by her actions. I know. I know, this sounds like a lot of liberal claptrap; but it is the truth of the matter. Most religions have at their core a similar teaching.

You cannot imagine the pain and suffering my son put me through as an adolescent. (my mother told me this would happen) While there were times when I admit he caused me to turn into a raving lunatic, this was not done in public and I would never have taken the things we had given him away. Those things were gifts given out of love, not a bribe to behave with the threat of loss if he didn't measure up.

What I did do was to teach by example as best as I could. I treat everyone I meet with the utmost respect unless I find that in their actions they are causing harm to others. Then I will do whatever I can to cut them down, but respectfully; usually. My son paid attention, even when I did not know he was. He has grown into a fine man who treats everyone kindly. He has respect for everyone who deserves it.

But here is the thing about respect. If you are always respectful and carefully think about others and how your words or actions might effect them; you will never be rich, nor famous. (at least in this country) It is a cunundrum...is it not?



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 01:08 PM
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What disturbs me, is, we have a whole generation of children being raised in an environment of apathy.
Parents have, for whatever reasons, given up on actually raising their children. Have become dependent on society to raise them for them.

The concept of raising children with consequences pretty much has been thrown out the window. Apathy doesn't instill values, consequences does.

I applaud the father in his following through on the lesson of consequences with his daughter. What he did, he had warned her of should she not take to heart his previous lesson, that was given verbally. He followed through with the exact consequences, she apparently didn't listen to. Good for him, I say.

Apathy from a parent leaves no line drawn in the sand, of what is acceptable, and what is not. Hence we have a generation of half-baked kids with no concept of boundaries and consequences. I fear for our future, I really do.

Des



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 01:09 PM
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reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck
 


I would've sold the laptop

I also would've confronted her in person, not hiding behind a video camera where you can do multiple takes to seem smarter and more confident than you are

Holding your children accountable for their actions sets a good example

Being vengeful and emotional and "pwning" your daughter in front of her friends does not set a good example



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 01:17 PM
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reply to post by Daughter2
 


Some people don't deserve respect. Their actions have lost them that privilege.



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 01:29 PM
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Originally posted by Revealation
reply to post by TheRedneck
 


The reason they can't handle anything is because of the way their parents and teachers are raising them. Everything they do is sugar coated and pampered. From the responses of many here I have the image of you carrying your kid around in a purse like paris hilton and her dog. 1/2 of you adults have nothing but unstable, fragile and shattered egos and you wonder why your kids are weak.

The fact is we need to raise and ground our children in reality, because the majority of this country is nothing but a bunch of spoiled brats who can't handle the slightest inconvenience, nevermind when a real problem arises. The first response to the situation is a total breakdown and suicide.

My son is 18 and he's seen me on the occasional flipout. I've never laid a hand on him, EVER (accept to show my love) and he has nothing but respect and love back. He's learned lessons most of the adults here probably never will.............................. and from his own words, he tells me that the structure of our current society is doing NOTHING but setting our kids up for FAILURE.

You all need to wake the hell up and come out of your spoiled fantasies. Deal with realities problems and overcomne adversity. It builds character and strength which in turn we teach our children.


[align=center][color=009999]WONDERFUL[/align]
[align=center][color=009999]CONGRATS[/align]
[align=center][color=009999]FOR DOING[/align]
[align=center][color=009999]SO MUCH[/align]
[align=center][color=009999]RIGHT! YEA[/align]

Kudos to both you and your son. . . . your son for being teachable.

May you both spread your influence for good far and wide.



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 01:31 PM
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Originally posted by TheRedneck
reply to post by amazed

Are you implying that if someone is not a nuclear scientist, then they have "no clue" when they say nuclear power can be destructive?



I'm not implying it... I'm stating it!

TheRedneck


I will be sure to remember that the next time I read your opinions on subjects of which you are not an expert or do not have a degree in.

I am not a nuclear specialist but I certainly KNOW with clarity that nuclear power CAN be dangerous. ie: Chernobyl and Fukushima

I do not have to be a specialist in nuclear power to recognize the danger.

I do not have to be a cat to know I like cats nor do I have to have owned one to know I like them. Just as I do not have to be a parent to KNOW that certain ways of parenting is not healthy for children.

I do not believe that it requires being a parent to recognize abuse towards children, and as far as I am concerned the parent in the video is an abusive parent in some ways.

But to be clear, I AM a parent.

Harm None
Peace out



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 01:41 PM
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reply to post by amazed
 


Uh oh...you obviously haven't followed any of TheRedNeck's posts in the Japan/Fukushima monster thread. Methinks you are in for a rude awakening....



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 02:16 PM
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Can't blame him for being angry... the dude says he payed $180 on "software" alone, sounds like he got ripped off big time.



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 02:20 PM
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reply to post by amazed



I worked, incidentally, in the design of a major TVA nuclear reactor plant for six years. That does not make me a nuclear scientist, but it does indicate knowledge of the subject. I would bow to the expertise of a nuclear physicist on such a subject, but not to the opinion of someone who has never studied nor worked on a nuclear power plant.

I have experience programming, including writing html-based Internet chat rooms in Perl and now developing a database for the Mathematics department at the college I attend. Does that make me an expert on computer programming? Nope, but it does make me knowledgeable.

I have never dealt with many subjects, such as veterinary medicine. Would I inject a supposed 'expert' opinion on the subject? No... I would listen to those who have experience in the field and try to learn. My opinions would be anecdotal and very subjective.

So when it comes to parenting issues, who would have the most informed opinions? Someone who has never raised a child, or someone who has raised a child? And in the same vein of thought, among those who have raised a child, who would have the most reliable experience: those who have young children or those who have grown children? And among those who who have grown children, whose opinions would be more trustworthy: those who had successful children or those who did not?

The point is, you want to boil things down to a black and white picture. This guy says one thing, this guy says the other thing, and I will agree with the one that says what I think. That is inappropriate thinking; true knowledge comes from examining both the sources and the opinions, not just the opinions themselves.

I believe the source is as valid, if not more so, than the stated opinion. Try to find a child who likes spankings; there are none. But there are plenty of parents who were spanked as a child, and who now, after their experiences with raising children themselves, understand the purpose behind them.

That speaks volumes more to me than what a child without any experience says.

TheRedneck



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 02:25 PM
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The daughter was not taught the right life skills and the father over reacted. They both failed really. Kids like that are in for a rude shock when they have to work.

I knew a young fella that I got a job for a couple of years back, after him being unemployed for 2 years. After about a week he quit & I asked why? He said "They kept just giving me all this crap to do all the time"........I said "That's a job.....they get you to do things.........all the time, in fact...the whole time".

His daughter will fail for life if he doesn't spend time with her now.



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 02:29 PM
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Originally posted by InsideYourMind
Can't blame him for being angry... the dude says he payed $180 on "software" alone, sounds like he got ripped off big time.


Errrr, yeah & he says he works in IT? He probably should have just put Ubuntu on there & open office & be done with it.....for free.



posted on Feb, 12 2012 @ 02:51 PM
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Originally posted by Hannagan
The daughter was not taught the right life skills and the father over reacted. They both failed really. Kids like that are in for a rude shock when they have to work.

I knew a young fella that I got a job for a couple of years back, after him being unemployed for 2 years. After about a week he quit & I asked why? He said "They kept just giving me all this crap to do all the time"........I said "That's a job.....they get you to do things.........all the time, in fact...the whole time".

His daughter will fail for life if he doesn't spend time with her now.


The man said he previously grounded his daughter for 3 months, she messed up again so he demonstrated that what he gave to her he can just as easily take back/destroy. If he would've shot the computer the 1st time she disrespected him THAT would be overreacting. He followed an increasing system of punishment. Fair play

And I don't get why people are calling this guy angry. He never raised his voice once. When I disrespected my dad I got kicked out the house. I was 16 and it was the middle of winter. When I acted up in school my dad came up to the school and found me. This girls got it easy and she should be thankful

Sometimes you try your hardest with a kid, try to teach them all the right things and they turn out to be the opposite. Parents aren't perfect and from the video I can get a sense of his style of discipline. He gave her some freedom, tried to be nice to her and in return she abused it and disrespected him.



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