reply to post by ErroneousDylan
ok, this is my 2nd go at replying... I backed out to actually read some of your OP, but once again after just the 2nd paragragh, I hit reply, so I'm
going with it. here is my orginal copied post, and my follow up.
"Sorry I only took the time to read the first few sentences of your OP, I quickly scrolled down and came across the words 'panic disorder &
anxiety'.
then I hit reply...
I'm 36yo, and in Dec 2011 I had a heart attack"
so then, back to my point...
My stay at the hospital, I was told some interesting things. In the ER, my EKG was 'concerningly unusual', that the voltage I was producing was
higher than what is 'normal' and that it spiked when moving. Later Ultrasounds/EKG showed the same thing, and they attributed it to my slender
build. Upon release I was told that it was a non-cardic related chest pain(because they fond no damage to my heart). This last thing being strange to
me, because felt I had a heart attack...
Within 24 hours I was experiencing the most crippling anxiety I can imagine...
Up to this point I had never experienced physical anxiety, or even major mentalanxiety, although I had social anxiety for about 20 years, I got over
90% of that long ago.
I had what felt like a weaker heart attack a week after my initial event. through use of the devil pills 'zoloft' I've managed to overcome weeks of
intense anxiety and weaned myself off medication in less than 2 months.
Now, here we are 9 weeks later and I have noticed some peculiar things lately that all tie into this whole experience.
Since the day of my initial heart attack, years of being depressed were gone, I was happy and excited being in the ER. I do not attribute this to the
Zoloft, because I was feeling that weight being gone before I started taking it. The Zoloft quickly got my anxiety under control(I still experience it
but I dont fight it and I welcome the buzz these days)
I'm dreaming now... For most my life, I have rarely been able to recall my dreams, however as a teen, I experienced alot of deja vu(thinking I've
had this dream). Now not only do I dream every time I fall asleep, having multiple and conclusive dreaming(where I return to a dream I had woken
from), but I can also control actions and outcomes of my dream...
I've been able to meditate again... After spending about 6 years(14-20) practicing meditation, self hypnosis, even some past life regression, but
mostly just relaxing, I stopped. I was able to relax still, but I just didn't meditate anymore(I started checking out the exterior world at that
point). However, I noticed about 4-5 years ago I wasn't even able to relax anymore. My mind was racing so much during those years that I couldn't
focus and find center enough to relax. Fast forward to now and not only do I find myself able to relax again, meditate into a beta state, control my
dreams, but a few times, during the week, at night I have been able to generate a field of sort(something I had never done before).
I found an interesting series called 'Spirit Science'. It has like 14-15 ten or so minute clips for the first season, and they are already 4
episodes into season 2 as of late January.
I can't help but feel these things are all related somehow, especially since I wholehearted feel that I have been functioning at a different
frequency since Dec 2011...
I'm hoping my post isn't far from what you are addressing in the OP. after writing all this it only seens fair to read the thread hehe
