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Your childhood and how your parents influenced who you are today..

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posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 01:41 AM
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Is it possible that as a group we were all drawn here by the facets of our nature that were moulded by our experiences as children

I am interested why I am the way I am. I try to look into my past to figure out what brought me to where I am today...Im still searching for spiritual truth

It's been really hard to wake up and look around being in a world filled with zombies who think the goverment loves them. When i know everything is being done to destroy the economy and poison people. I've been starting to read about energy and how to heal myself from the inside..and i'm learning and growing. I am learning that i need to stop yearning for my family to love me..and concentrate on helping humanity and showing others love. If i chose my family through karma..I don't know why on earth i did..But one of the most powerful things I learnt from my childhood was to forgive my parents..Now as a adult i can see the influence they have really had on me..

In my life I have found it is those people who have suffered the most, have the most to offer their fellow humans in the form of love, understanding and spirit.

I'd love to hear something from all of you, a little insight and history. Thanks for reading..peace,sugarcookie1

edit on 9-2-2012 by sugarcookie1 because: boo boo




posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:14 AM
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I guess this subjt is to deep



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:21 AM
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Well let me see....... My mom usually worked 2 jobs so I saw my step dad most of the time. He liked to beat the crap out of me and my brothers until we got too old to beat up any more. At that point he switched to mental abuse.

He would have us sit in front of him on the floor every night and just scream at us and berate us, telling us we were stupid, we'd never amount to anything and we would be losers for life.

He kicked me out as soon as possible and I joined the Army. Now, I am a civilian with two kids of my own. I treat my children with respect and kindness for the most part. Sometimes so much so my GF gets mad because I'm the "nice one".

I love my kids and I would never DREAM of treating them the way my step dad treated me and my brothers. I am strong wiled, opinionated and I like a good fight so I guess it wasn't all bad.



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:26 AM
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reply to post by sugarcookie1
 



and i'm learning and growing. I am learning that i need to stop yearning for my family to love me..and concentrate on helping humanity and showing others love.




Forgive and move on...




posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:29 AM
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My parents were a nightmare.
Had me young (Mom was 16), Father with a rainbow of mental issues, raised in the deep south.
I was born into a nice family past my parents, back to my grandparents. I was raised to be a debutante for the family, but when I hit my "coming of age" I totally rebelled.

The "debutantes" get put into the paper as a spread over two pages and they couldn't put mine in because I shaved my head and that pretty much summed me up until my early twenties.

Abusive father...like...bad abusive...like...read about it on the news abusive.

Abusive background from almost every man in my life, ever, beat the living tar out of a couple, had more than my fair share of wild college years, yeah...if there was a machine to rage against, I raged hard and often

edit on 9-2-2012 by ValentineWiggin because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:43 AM
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Originally posted by DJDigitalGem
Well let me see....... My mom usually worked 2 jobs so I saw my step dad most of the time. He liked to beat the crap out of me and my brothers until we got too old to beat up any more. At that point he switched to mental abuse.

He would have us sit in front of him on the floor every night and just scream at us and berate us, telling us we were stupid, we'd never amount to anything and we would be losers for life.

He kicked me out as soon as possible and I joined the Army. Now, I am a civilian with two kids of my own. I treat my children with respect and kindness for the most part. Sometimes so much so my GF gets mad because I'm the "nice one".

I love my kids and I would never DREAM of treating them the way my step dad treated me and my brothers. I am strong wiled, opinionated and I like a good fight so I guess it wasn't all bad.


Im sorry to hear about your childhood..It's sad. It really is. You look at some people and wonder why they had kids. I think the root of most problems comes from poor parents. I really do..But you learned from all this and love your children and treat them good ..sometimes it just makes us stronger..peace,sugarcookie



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:45 AM
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Originally posted by Akragon
reply to post by sugarcookie1
 



and i'm learning and growing. I am learning that i need to stop yearning for my family to love me..and concentrate on helping humanity and showing others love.




Forgive and move on...



Thats easyer said then done sometimes the scars run deep..peace,sugarcookie1



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:58 AM
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reply to post by sugarcookie1
 

Now as a adult i can see the influence they have really had on me...

Mine ignored me, they still do. In between I got yelled at, spanked, paddled, belittled, massive guilt tripped, never measured up, always judged as less than. Saw a lot of mostly mental and emotional abuse. I still haven't recovered, I am totally disfunctional. My problem is the neglect. I just couldn't get them to love me and pay attention to me. Others who don't experience this from birth have no idea how hard that is to overcome.

My parents used to lock me in the car in my car seat while they went into a restaurant to eat. I remember this. People would walk by and stare and worry and then find my parents inside. Then they would bring me inside and put me in a hi chair as far way from them as possible so I wouldn't get food on them. I would be left in a crib for hours in a room with the door closed. Just pure neglect. The child they didn't plan for or want. I still can't get them to tell me why. I know the reason to be that they were'nt loved as children either. That they were neglected as well and didn't know how to raise children either.

But gee ya know. I find it somewhat insane that some people just decide to get married with out to much thought and then like ohhh, lets have a baby and not have a clue that they don't have a clue that they don't know what they are doing. Doesn't the alarm go off at some point that you don't know how to love or commit or act mature? Not. Most of us are in denial about something any ways but gee whiz...



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 03:01 AM
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Originally posted by ValentineWiggin
My parents were a nightmare.
Had me young (Mom was 16), Father with a rainbow of mental issues, raised in the deep south.
I was born into a nice family past my parents, back to my grandparents. I was raised to be a debutante for the family, but when I hit my "coming of age" I totally rebelled.

The "debutantes" get put into the paper as a spread over two pages and they couldn't put mine in because I shaved my head and that pretty much summed me up until my early twenties.

Abusive father...like...bad abusive...like...read about it on the news abusive.

Abusive background from almost every man in my life, ever, beat the living tar out of a couple, had more than my fair share of wild college years, yeah...if there was a machine to rage against, I raged hard and often

edit on 9-2-2012 by ValentineWiggin because: (no reason given)


My mother father were emotionally distant all of my life.When I was a child, they never allowed me to visit friends, or have them visit me, and the only example of human interaction with which they provided was my grandparents i grew up a very lonley child..Everything I do is underlined with a fear of human interaction, and although I have tried to work this out it is still present in every part of me.
I understand why you raged maybe i should have..peace,sugarcookie1



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 03:10 AM
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My brother and I were raised by our mum. She has a history of mental illness, particularly depression and anger issues. Unfortunately, due to my dad also being a little bit on the mad side too, I have a proclivity to be a bit depressed from time to time.
However, my mum was medicated and used to help us understand why she was taking her tablets and would tell us when she was having a hard time.
I never saw her cry much, and she hated men. She was hard faced and troubled much of the time I think.
She had boyfriends who were horrible to her that she wouldn't leave, and she is impulsive and reckless at times. She always told me to not make the same mistakes she made. She had an affair with a local politician who was married, and committed fraud and then legged it abroad.
---
Now I'm a mum. My son is three, and mum insists that her way is the right way, and if I don't use her (often questionable) advice, she stops talking to me.
I see traits of her in myself sometimes, and it bothers me. I'm finding I try not to display my emotions or feelings, which leads me to be insanely emotional. I've been through the depression and out the other side.
I'm in a long term relationship with the father of my son. I've beaten up men who have hurt me.
I recognise the mistakes she has made and don't want to put myself in that position now. Especially since times have changed since she made them and the consequences are potentially worse now than they would have been.
---
As for upbringing leading to some of us being here, I don't think I can attribute it to my presence here. I don't ever remember having any particularly in depth discussions about anything remotely political or conspiracy themed ever. I moved out when I was 18 and never went back. Though our relationship was strained, its better now, but I know she wouldn't listen to anything I might find of interest on here, though her partner might.



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 03:12 AM
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Originally posted by intrptr
reply to post by sugarcookie1
 

Now as a adult i can see the influence they have really had on me...

Mine ignored me, they still do. In between I got yelled at, spanked, paddled, belittled, massive guilt tripped, never measured up, always judged as less than. Saw a lot of mostly mental and emotional abuse. I still haven't recovered, I am totally disfunctional. My problem is the neglect. I just couldn't get them to love me and pay attention to me. Others who don't experience this from birth have no idea how hard that is to overcome.

My parents used to lock me in the car in my car seat while they went into a restaurant to eat. I remember this. People would walk by and stare and worry and then find my parents inside. Then they would bring me inside and put me in a hi chair as far way from them as possible so I wouldn't get food on them. I would be left in a crib for hours in a room with the door closed. Just pure neglect. The child they didn't plan for or want. I still can't get them to tell me why. I know the reason to be that they were'nt loved as children either. That they were neglected as well and didn't know how to raise children either.

But gee ya know. I find it somewhat insane that some people just decide to get married with out to much thought and then like ohhh, lets have a baby and not have a clue that they don't have a clue that they don't know what they are doing. Doesn't the alarm go off at some point that you don't know how to love or commit or act mature? Not. Most of us are in denial about something any ways but gee whiz...


Isn't it a shame our life is so short and we can't choose our parents? As children we are helpless victims, unable to speak out because it is not an accepted norm to be so bold. So we sit, like injured cats, licking our wounds silently in a corner, wishing someone could read our minds, or the pain on our faces..

Alot of people think it gets easier as you get older and have a career or a family, it really does not get much better. If anything, the pain manifests itself through anxiety, depression..But know this your not alone..peace,sugarcookie1



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 03:29 AM
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Originally posted by Lulzaroonie
My brother and I were raised by our mum. She has a history of mental illness, particularly depression and anger issues. Unfortunately, due to my dad also being a little bit on the mad side too, I have a proclivity to be a bit depressed from time to time.
However, my mum was medicated and used to help us understand why she was taking her tablets and would tell us when she was having a hard time.
I never saw her cry much, and she hated men. She was hard faced and troubled much of the time I think.
She had boyfriends who were horrible to her that she wouldn't leave, and she is impulsive and reckless at times. She always told me to not make the same mistakes she made. She had an affair with a local politician who was married, and committed fraud and then legged it abroad.
---
Now I'm a mum. My son is three, and mum insists that her way is the right way, and if I don't use her (often questionable) advice, she stops talking to me.
I see traits of her in myself sometimes, and it bothers me. I'm finding I try not to display my emotions or feelings, which leads me to be insanely emotional. I've been through the depression and out the other side.
I'm in a long term relationship with the father of my son. I've beaten up men who have hurt me.
I recognise the mistakes she has made and don't want to put myself in that position now. Especially since times have changed since she made them and the consequences are potentially worse now than they would have been.
---
As for upbringing leading to some of us being here, I don't think I can attribute it to my presence here. I don't ever remember having any particularly in depth discussions about anything remotely political or conspiracy themed ever. I moved out when I was 18 and never went back. Though our relationship was strained, its better now, but I know she wouldn't listen to anything I might find of interest on here, though her partner might.


Thanks for posting..I know my parents wouldnt have anything to do with this forum there would be no intrest now or ever they would consider this a place for insane people.At least your mother wanted you to understand why she was takeing medication..And now you are on your own and can make your decisions
on things i know i have to question my parents (often questionable) advice now i just ignore it..peace,sugarcookie1



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 03:33 AM
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reply to post by sugarcookie1
 


But know this your not alone..peace,sugarcookie1

Uh huh. Because of that neglect I found my inner strength. I am "inwardly" motivated, not dependent upon what others think of me (well mostly). Since I had a lot of time to myself I realized that I was soul searching, seeking the answers within so to speak. Not from me but from that inner source of wisdom like an antenna to heaven as it were, that I think we all have. Long hard road but smoother now. Thanks for the replies and letting me share.



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 03:52 AM
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Originally posted by intrptr
reply to post by sugarcookie1
 


But know this your not alone..peace,sugarcookie1

Uh huh. Because of that neglect I found my inner strength. I am "inwardly" motivated, not dependent upon what others think of me (well mostly). Since I had a lot of time to myself I realized that I was soul searching, seeking the answers within so to speak. Not from me but from that inner source of wisdom like an antenna to heaven as it were, that I think we all have. Long hard road but smoother now. Thanks for the replies and letting me share.


Thank you so much for shareing! Im glad things are a bit smoother in your life
peace,sugarcookie1



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 04:17 AM
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The only words that come to mind on the subject of my parents raising me would be feral child. From the time I was very little, 3 - 6, i simply roamed the few acres my parents had pretending to to talk with the trees, playing in the dirt and staying out from dawn until dusk. We moved when i was 6 to a larger property which bordered a national forest and the same thing happened, I was left alone to explore.

I never had any friends, my parents were never there. My father was a radiologist and worked all the time. My mother didn't have to work but did, leaving me alone to get ready for school. I was always in an empty house that never felt like my home. It wasn't until I was an adult before i realized how strange my childhood was. My father was so cold, emotionless and judgmental. My mother was always so distant, and it always felt like she had something else to do, something that she hadn't finished yet, leaving me on the back burner trying to figure out what I had done wrong.

I heard my father say once that their first child was pretty dependent, but the second was very independent and pretty much took care of herself. This leaves me drawing the conclusion that they figured the third would be totally independent with no need for parental supervision or guidance, and they gave me neither.

I came home from a deployment to Iraq and had to find a ride home with a friend, because my parents had planned a vacation to far in advance to change or cancel.

It's sad to say, but today my parents to me are just people i know, and my wife's mother has been more of a parent to me showing me what emotions parents should show their children. I never understood my friends amazing relationships with their parents, and they never understood mine. I could never just sit down and talk with my parents, the only time they spoke to me was when i had done something wrong, and it was a 'family discussion' where i never said anything more than, "yes sir", and tried to look past the condemning stares and hurtful words they used.

BUT, would I be who I am today if they were different? If they were real parents would I act the same, or think the same? I don't know, but my life's experiences have made me who I am today. I would rather be who I am, questioning everyone and everything searching for... well I still don't know. They are sheep, eternal consumers unquestioning with one word in their minds, OBEY...

One day I will find what I'm looking for, and i hope that whatever I find has been looking for me too.



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 04:46 AM
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There is no doubt that your parents' influence on you during your childhood has long-lasting effects on the way you turn out as an adult. Negative behaviour is likely to be ingrained deeply into your psych and you are likely to display or repackage this behaviour as an adult when you have kids of your own. It can become a viscous chain of pain and misery that continues from generation to generation.

However, there are many positive examples of people with horrible childhoods being able to turn their lives around and raise kids in a healthy and loving environment. "Breaking the cycle" is a challenging task, but it can be done. I strongly admire those who can overcome tough childhoods to become good loving parents.



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 08:18 AM
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Originally posted by Dark Ghost
"Breaking the cycle" is a challenging task, but it can be done. I strongly admire those who can overcome tough childhoods to become good loving parents.

I second this but it got me thinking.... we all have horror stories about our parents... what if we do become good, loving parents - will we give birth the zombies the OP speaks of?

on the other hand, even good parents produce monsters, I've seen it

Then I also wonder if some horror stories people tell are just misinterpreted by a young mind - for example - I grew up believing I was a scapegoat because it seemed like I would get punished for things that all the kids were involved in, and I always felt like my punishment was more severe than theirs - if they were punished at all - but in hindsight, now that I'm a parent, its not always easy to know who was at fault for a situation - and when all the other kids tell one story, and you're the only one telling the truth.... you see where I'm going with this? It was the kids around me that were the problem in that situation - not necessarily the adults.


But its easy to say your negative experiences shaped and molded who you became. What about the good stuff?

I'm pretty sure it was inevitable that I would end up on this website. Almost predestined. My mother told me all my life that flouride was rat poison, that they were putting it in the water to slowly kill us. We've always had bottled water, even when it wasn't fashionable. She bought me Time-Life books about aliens and ufo's and mysterious places and phenomenon. I even found the commercial on youtube



I still have some of them - I keep meaning to reread them.


So yeah, I can fill my post with horror stories - instead, I'm gonna thank my mother for having an open mind




I won't fill the post with videos either, but here's more I found if you're interested
Youtube - Time Life: Enchanted Worlds
Youtube - Time Life: Ghosts and the Supernatural
Time Life: Mystic Places



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 10:33 AM
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reply to post by Forevever
 


I have to say, that my childhood has been very much like you describe. Right down to the time life books. Of course, I have been punished as a child, but for the most part my brother and I were loved by our parents. They did many things for us, so I can't complain. I almost didn't reply to this thread because I felt bad for most of the respondents, and didn't want to sound like I was trying to one up everyone else.



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:11 PM
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We are products of our eviornment.
Love,forgive, and move on.
We are only passing through one time.
Make the best of it.



posted on Feb, 9 2012 @ 02:25 PM
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Well I didn't get my intelligence and creativity from anyone else in my family so...

Also learned how not to be a parent even though I hate kids and would never have any myself.

Don't think my parents influenced anything in my life, it's all been my own doing.



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