Anybody else so excited they can't wait for death?

reply to post by Alyssa


This kind of thinking scares me.

Someone is excited and can't wait to die, because they think they will experience 'paradise'...

This is how cults get people to commit suicide, either Jim Jones style or Al Qaeda style...

What if when you die, you just fade out entirely.

Originally posted by curious7

Originally posted by ignorant_ape
dead is dead - get over it and live your life

But then people like myself who can't see anything worth living for, what's the answer to stave off the suicidal thoughts? What is there to live for?

That is the futility of life.

We're an infestation no different than a colony of bacteria. We'll die, and others will consume where we left off. Nothing great will come of it all, in 10,000 years the earth will have enveloped any trace of human life, and all that will remain are desolate buildings and decrepit structures.

In a way like a dead coral reef. a crumbling memory.

reply to post by curious7

While my life has indeed been rather disappointing, I will admit that I have experienced some good at times. Does the word "juggalo" mean anything to you? It does to me. I was born to be a "scrub". Upon entering this world life has chewed me up, digested me, then excreted me, only for another aspect of life to repeat that process. Born into an uneducated family, I never had very much as a child. However, I did happen to be blessed with a "god fearing" father who was under the impression that any good parent should attempt to beat his religious beliefs into a curious and open minded child, and a mother who was under the belief that nothing, nay even her own children, is more important than her "stories"(television shows). I was only provided with the cheapest, and might I add, rather distasteful of clothing, as a young child in grade school. I was somehow intelligent and very shy. While I had no friends in elementary school, I was honored with a few beatings in my time. Children seemed to enjoy making those that seem unfortunate suffer.

Eventually I would grow up to be rather large for my age. I will not lie, at this point in my life I decided to learn how to fight well and take my anger out on others, as I had been taught to do all throughout my life. I never harmed those who didn't deserve it, which of course is a debatable opinion. I went around beating up those who picked on others. This of course landed me in a lot of trouble. In my opinion, and personal experiences in life, the children who fight for justice are always the ones who will receive the most harsh of punishments. As a "very different" kind of child growing up in project housing, I eventually discovered a kind of sub culture called juggalos. I was really into this music, it just made a lot of sense from my perspective. Now if you know anything of the many internet rumors and or stereotypes about "juggalos", than I'm sure you are very aware of how little respect I was shown. Once more, simply because I was different.

If you don't know what a "juggalo" is, google it, you will find a lot of lies. The people will do the same as they would with many of those who participate in discussions on websites such as this one. They will describe how pathetic of a people those who call themselves "juggalos" are. I will not lie, that term, and the concept of a lack of intelligence do kind of fit together. However, as with all things, this isn't always so. I did drop out of high school because I continued to get into trouble because of violence, at the age of 16. But guess what. I am now a psych major attending the local university (ETSU) with over a 3.5 gpa, I know it isn't the best in the world but I would argue that I am by no means what some would consider a "failure". In my teenage years I met a girl from a very different upbringing than my own. We are now married and have two children. We are both attending school full time, her an English major with plans to earn education required to be a professor of English, and myself aiming for the goal of a phd in psychology.

Basically what I have spent this time trying to tell you is that no matter how bad it may seem now, do not ever let the thought of a better future escape you! For all we know, we only have this one life, this one chance, to do that which we consider "be", for lack of a better term at the moment. Believe me, I know how much things can "suck", I've experienced terrible times during this life. I've been homeless as a teenager. I am not trying to claim that I have had a worse life than someone else out there. I am simply stating that I do understand how bad things can be. But right now at 24 years old, while I am still currently struggling to make ends meet, and live in a very crappy place in a very bad neighborhood, I will not allow such things to bring me down. Thing may suck, but Ido have a wonderful wife who has been by my side for over seven years now, and put up with all of my flaws (there are many), and two children which give me a reason to pull through life everyday, despite the struggle, and prove to myself and the world that I will one day escape the disrespect that comes with being born into a life of poverty in the United States of America. I will succeed, and you can too!

I apologize for the errors and typos in this rant, which I'm sure there are many of. I just really want you to know that no matter how bad it may seem, there are those in the world that do care. I don't know you, but I really hope that your life will one day be something you can consider "worth living". Don't allow the depression to "win", man, you are in charge of your mind. In the end there is a whole world out there, it will not come to you, you must go to it. I will not lie, as a mere human, you may not be capable of having whatever you desire, but happiness is obtainable, go get it!

reply to post by doomedtoday


Thanks man and yeah, two of my best friends in college (although who knows if they ever considered me a friend) were Juggalos and while I didn't get sucked into the culture to become one myself, I did have fun with those guys even if it mainly seemed to revolve around me playing songs by Korn, Slipknot and Twiztid by ear on guitar (three of their favourite bands, we also listened to pretty much the entire Psychopathic Records family).

There has been a lot of strange happenstance lately, and a lot of strange pressures that I cant point my finger at. And all kinds of strange vibes going on, even on ATS it seems to be happening. In fact especially on ATS lately, and I have seen my share of crazy threads, some way more so then this.

But what the hell the vibe was never there. And even for the past 2 months the dam moon has been bizarre which I suppose is normal since it's the moon and all. But every time I seen it and that is a lot lately it is always almost a full moon, which I find freaking weird. It's like what the hell! who put that thing up there!

I'v known my share of things, and that gravity is crushing. But sometimes I just got to laugh because the things you people whine about I seriously stopped caring completely, or very little, I mean whining about relationships, love, or going places in life is so....... I don't even have a word for it anymore, and most of what you all run to, I walk away from, and my only regret is that I still even bother remembering such things. But mostly and like all things you learn to live with it, and eventually that to shall pass.

Then we get people who are excited for death, I mean sure death is something to be exited for, and people even get dressed up for it at funerals and such.
But come on really?
The extremes they go to is way not what is normal, "whatever normal is supposed to be" Normal is probably the wrong word, so lets say not average, way above average, unequivocally not average.

For me it's that my consciousness will transcend gender, space and time. Coming to the realization it's possible now to create my own world or even a new universe.

Death

Either that or you been watching way to much evangelion Alyssa. Your dream world is definitely cloudy. In worst case scenario...You just might end up back here again. Life's a biatch so why should death be any different.

But whatever you do, I wish you luck. And since you seem to be so fascinated with death.

C ya on the other side. Send us a post card will you. And don't be a stranger, that job is already taken.

I've been dying since the day i was born with a terminal illness ..Life is very fragile and the longer i can live the happier i will be ..I don't know how anyone could be excited to die when everyday i struggle to stay alive ..I don't know whats on the other side but im not excited about leaving this one im on ..peace,sugarcookie1

We don't know what's on the other side. Look around at this world, out of the cities. The sunsets, sunrises, the sky full of stars, the snow, the trees, flowers, rainbows, animals, butterflies, birds......Even the smell of coffee. Mmmmm.

There's so much beauty in this world. I don't mention humans on purpose, too many are soured towards this life, cannot see the beauty. Sad really, there's so much of it surrounding us.

When I pass, hopefully not for at least another 50 years, I sure hope it isn't anything like some people describe. Some people describe white, crystal, golds.
I want grass, trees, waterfalls, creeks, and lots of animals. All my previous animal companions.
And peace.

reply to post by Alyssa

Yes, Alyssa, I am excited as can be, but then I know what to expect, and what to do. Let's just say been there, done that. Time for some R&R.

Originally posted by autowrench
reply to post by Alyssa

 

Yes, Alyssa, I am excited as can be, but then I know what to expect, and what to do. Let's just say been there, done that. Time for some R&R.

Do I get what I would like? Do we create our own reality, after all this?
My thoughts below:

When I pass, hopefully not for at least another 50 years, I sure hope it isn't anything like some people describe. Some people describe white, crystal, golds. I want grass, trees, waterfalls, creeks, and lots of animals. All my previous animal companions. And peace.

Do you think I will get my furry companions back? With trees?

Originally posted by snowspirit

Originally posted by autowrench
reply to post by Alyssa

 

Yes, Alyssa, I am excited as can be, but then I know what to expect, and what to do. Let's just say been there, done that. Time for some R&R.

Do I get what I would like? Do we create our own reality, after all this?
My thoughts below:

When I pass, hopefully not for at least another 50 years, I sure hope it isn't anything like some people describe. Some people describe white, crystal, golds. I want grass, trees, waterfalls, creeks, and lots of animals. All my previous animal companions. And peace.

Do you think I will get my furry companions back? With trees?

Having been a medium and having a few near death experiences myself, I can honestly say I believe you'll see your furry friends on the other side.

As for all we experience on the other side, well, your guess is as good as mine.

reply to post by snowspirit

When I pass, hopefully not for at least another 50 years, I sure hope it isn't anything like some people describe. Some people describe white, crystal, golds. I want grass, trees, waterfalls, creeks, and lots of animals. All my previous animal companions. And peace.

When you die you see and come to what you are capable of understanding and grasping, so like in life people see what they want to see when they are dead.

The op Alyssa I mean come on dude, dudette or whatever you want to call yourself now, your definitely digging into to much were the ice is thin. And you having your own personal universe will probably a sucky place because it will reflect you.

But op your so rude to never answer my questions, so if you ever get your own universe. I think I will troll you there to, eventually you learn to be more nice, so rude some peoples are.

Back to my point, yes you can have your grass, tress, waterfalls, creeks, and lots of animals, even your previous animal companions, and even peace. But you can also have those things here in this wavelength, exempt peace, or at least not for any infinite period. After all it's against the rules of this place.

reply to post by Hierophantesque

Having been a medium and having a few near death experiences myself, I can honestly say I believe you'll see your furry friends on the other side.
As for all we experience on the other side, well, your guess is as good as mine.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird

When you die you see and come to what you are capable of understanding and grasping, so like in life people see what they want to see when they are dead.

Even though no one knows for sure, the above replies are still comforting.



OP, you need to get away from people and buildings, and check out some nature.
Earth herself, is beautiful.

Originally posted by snowspirit
OP, you need to get away from people and buildings, and check out some nature.
Earth herself, is beautiful.

Thing is, even if I went outside and checked out nature as I have a few times, the fact is that there are still other people alive on this planet and that bothers me.

I hate people thanks to my bad experiences in life and probably wouldn't be truly happy until either the rest of the world is removed from this planet or I am.

Alyssa, Why do you make a thread like this and offer nothing to the conversation its a bit strange to me..peace,sugarcookie1

Originally posted by sugarcookie1
Alyssa, Why do you make a thread like this and offer nothing to the conversation its a bit strange to me..peace,sugarcookie1

I enjoy reading what you people have to say/think about heavy subjects. It's much more fun watching the debates than being a part of it.

Originally posted by curious7

Originally posted by snowspirit
OP, you need to get away from people and buildings, and check out some nature.
Earth herself, is beautiful.

Thing is, even if I went outside and checked out nature as I have a few times, the fact is that there are still other people alive on this planet and that bothers me.

I hate people thanks to my bad experiences in life and probably wouldn't be truly happy until either the rest of the world is removed from this planet or I am.

I think sometimes death is the better choice for some of us. Our desire for a high level of existence is so strong that we see past all the illusions. The more truths we understand the more of a joke our interactions with others become for most of it is based on societies slave-hive mind mentality.

reply to post by Alyssa

I think sometimes death is the better choice for some of us. Our desire for a high level of existence is so strong that we see past all the illusions. The more truths we understand the more of a joke our interactions with others become for most of it is based on societies slave-hive mind mentality.

I believe all existence is "high level", although I do agree with you about interactions with (many) people. Not all people, but many people are so self involved they don't see the bigger picture.

I live rural enough that I don't have to have very many interactions with people, but I really enjoy my interactions with nature. I've even seen animals and birds behaving with one another in ways many people don't see, or even realize that they do this. Did you know, that bird couples, converse with one another the way people do? They talk to/at one another, taking turns to get their points across. I've also seen this same thing with squirrels, foxes, and rabbits.

The worst part about the above, was the foxes got one of the rabbits, and then a coyote got one of the foxes

I'm very lucky to see these things ( Except for the rabbit and the fox).
Earth is incredible, once you get past or away from the people. I'm going to enjoy this level while I'm here, and then I'll move on.....

Well all i can say is that i am exited about living Now is what we have and we create what is around us,

Im not excited to die at all as many people would trade anything to live! and sadly its not a choice they can make,
I live for them and enjoy my time here no matter what life throws at me because im lucky to be given the chance,

I agree with Perer Pan... he said that "death is the greatest adventure".