Anti-Bullying campaign - Right or Wrong?

reply to post by Biigs


I understand that I am unlike most when it comes to this topic. But, as far as verbal abuse that you speak of, I condone physical retaliation for that as well. Not all the time but in severe circumstances. We all have seen and heard of kids committing suicide from a verbal onslaught of bullying. Maybe this could have been prevented had the bullies had been whooped on?

reply to post by Ookie


it's this kind of bullying situation that I address in the OP a little bit. Someone should have been there for YOU! We really need a community that addresses empowering people and educating people on both sides of the equation.

I imagine there is a lot of pain about that time in your life and you build shields up to protect yourself - wishing to keep those same type people (or feelings) out - it makes it even more difficult to talk to someone about it. Share with someone how you feel so those old memories don't rule you now like they did back then. You are a very different person all these years later and those memories can be let go of. You deserve peace.

Bullies are bullies and they will always be there regardless of campaigns or legislation. They just simply seek alternate means in which to bully. Look at what Social Media has done for the bullying trade. The extent to which these idiots go to assault their victims is down right maniacal and quite disturbing. The open filming and subsequent internet postings of beatings etc etc. Just sick.

The bullies aren't going anywhere and the victims need to learn how to fight back. Bullies thrive on fear and tears.

When I was a kid many moons ago and someone was messing with you, you defended yourself much to the surprise of the instigator and his or her minions. Case closed. Problem dealt with on the playground or in the parking lot after school. Sadly, the bullies can now operate 24 hours a day on the internet. Just a bunch of cowardly sociopaths.

reply to post by Biigs


I have yet to see a fight during school hours that does not have a crowd around it that was there from the beginning, and with security cams on every wall in schools it should be fairly easy to discern who threw the first punch.

reply to post by insanedr4gon


first punch, not the first words.

cant solve anything with more violence guys, its only ever a viable option when the one can actually make the statement so the bully gets it.

are you surgesting self defence lessons against bullys for smaller kids, instead of official adult punishment etc?

that sounds such a worse idea than everything else

reply to post by Biigs


Short term it sounds like a bad idea but in the long term it is a good idea. Bullies will be bullies until they are put in their place. Many times violence is the only means to subdue a bully. If bullies are consistently put in their place then other bullies would see that and then think twice about abusing someone.

My son has permission to hit a bully. The school district is very pro active in anti bullying and when a bully is persistent it shows that the anti bullying campaigns aren't working. And if my son gets in trouble for defending himself, lets just say that the school district doesn't need any negative attention. SO, if my son were to get in trouble for retaliating against a repeat offender, the school would here from me and they don't need nor can they afford the attention that would be brought upon them because i'm sure many parents would speak out in defense of a child defending him/herself against bullying as they would also support a change to the way that we approach said topic.

Originally posted by woodwardjnr
I imagine it must be a lot worse for kids nowadays with things like facebook and text messaging. It's now possible for bullies to use this technology to bully anonymously.

Then wed handle itmuch the same as we did when i was a kid, finally confront the bully and dot his eye or bust his nose, only THIS time, take a picture after and post it....

If they want to play that game, play that game........

title under picture "Bully gets what he deserves"

what doe sthe guy in the wheel chair along with visable atributes that draw him attention, does he just man up leap out of his chair and superman punch the big bully?!

You cannot treat bullys, underage of conviction of their crimes, like a whack a mole game, one pops up your thump it down.

While in a few cases doing the treat beautifully, its not a lesson that scales up through their lives.

The bully revils in breaking the rules, taking pocket money and innocence from other kids, while a good slap is what he needs, who gets to do it is a BIG issue, bring back corperal punishment: a better solution frankly.

reply to post by Biigs


Yes, corporal punishment.

I believe the big problem with bullying lies within the parents inability to spank their child. Inability as in what's socially acceptable now and parents not allowed to reprimand their children without authorities, CPS, police, etc getting involved.


ETA: I don't advocate spanking children. I believe it is necessary under certain circumstances. I've never had to spank my 2 children. And when the time comes to spank a child, the parent mustn't be angry. That is a problem nowadays, parent gets pissed, hits kid. Kids grows to learn that he gets hit when parent is angry so that reinforces the belief into the child that when angry it is ok to hit.

I don't think there is a solution to this problem that can be solved by a campaign.

Physical violence you can perhaps stop. But bullying is more than that. Getting punched in the face is easier to deal with than being the nominated social pariah.

People aren't very nice. In every group there is one guy or girl that gets to be the punch bag for everybody else. If you took the top 10% in popularity of every school in the country and formed an elite school. One of those 'entitled ones' one would find themselves, much to their surprise, playing the role of outcast.

Teaching ways of weathering it, or raising your social status to stop it, is more beneficial than any 'tell the teacher' type campaign.

Yes, bullying needs to be stopped. Bullying does not make a child stronger in the ways which matter. Can it cause a child to control their emotions? Yes but their are other ways of accomplishing this which does not cause such pain.

Bullying is a form of narcissism, as to bully someone you have to have a lack of emotions about the other persons pain. To be a bully you have to be a selfish uncaring person.

I've also seen many young children who are the targets of bullies who "turned off" their emotions. Is that what you really wish to advocate for? That our children turn off their emotions and become narcissist?

On the other spectrum I've seen children who were bullied end up becoming horribly violent and becoming bullies themselves when they couldn't handle the emotional pain anymore. They also turned off their emotions other than the emotion of anger.

Is that also what you wish to advocate for?

What IS disempowering is a child who is bullied. They end up feeling "useless" and unable to care for themselves, they feel unsafe and undesirable. It can end up being a lifelong feeling that these children will fight with their whole life. It is horribly disempowering to a child when they are being bullied.

To call anyone a wussy shows your own emotional ability to be abusive and not have empathy for your fellow man.

Not having empathy for our fellow man leads us down the road of "violence is an acceptable way to handle conflict" creating adults who feel violence is the way to handle conflict. We need to teach our children how to handle conflict with WORDS not FISTS and then perhaps as adults they will recognize the horror of war.

Bullying has caused many a child to commit suicide, this one true problem should tell you that bullying is dangerous, bullying does NOT create strength, it creates pain and a lack of empathy and that is part of the problem with this world.

If you look at the emotional costs of bullying it is horrendous and leads to more money being spent on needed healthcare as adults. Bullying can lead to suicide, long term depression, loss of trust in humanity, anxiety, high levels of stress hormones and an unending list of negative responses which can take place in an abusive environment.

Bullying is one thing only it is ABUSE and I am in shock that anyone would advocate for abuse to continue, other than those who are abusers. Abusers will always advocate that what they are doing is NOT abuse and that what they are doing is "normal" and that what they are doing doesn't cause harm and "toughens up" the victim. They are fooling themselves if they truly believe that and are trying to fool others into believing their clap trap.

Those who think bullying is "normal" and "good", well your wrong. Bullying is not normal, it's the end product of a society which has forgotten what empathy and compassion is and creates a society that has become narcissistic.

Truly, is this what you want to advocate for? A narcissistic society? We already have it, let's work at stopping the narcissistic idiots.

Harm None
Peace

Its just plain wrong, let kids be kids. Today kids can't even have a school yard fight without the Scotland yard showing up to haul them off to jail. Then we wonder why kids are shooting and stabbing each other in class. Do you think the hate would get so bottled up and boil over into shooting and stabbing if kids could just have an old fashioned fist fight without fear of getting thrown in jail over it?
Im not saying that the schools should sanction fights or even allow them but deal with it on a school level, take away the prom or suspend them or something.
In 20 years when you are arrested at the airport for giving a dirty look to a security officer don't blame the evil "big brother" blame it on crap like this bullying bill. Because the security guard was conditioned at a young age to believe that any type of "threat" was a criminal offense.

I agree with your premise, but I think that there are some situations where it simply does not stop. There are many times these days where it is a group of kids picking on one, and then it becomes a situation where for the kid to stand up to them becomes a life-threatening situation.

as if this campaign will work. all of our society learns by suffering. you dont do what hurts you. but yet it is easy to kill animals and say hurtful things to each other, all because we aren't the ones feeling the pain. bullies are only part of the problem. but so am i and nearly everyone else.

I really wish I knew a solution to bulling. I was never seriously bullied in school because I was a psycho with rage problems. Instead kids would provoke me, just to see me flip out and get me in trouble. That was something I had to deal with and I'm glad I had my grandparents in my life to straighten me out.

My little brother though is bullied mercilessly, because of his weight. I even had a part to play in that and feel ashamed for it to this day. However he is a tough kid and it rolls off his back and he knows that his brother will always be there for him and so will the rest of his family.

One problem I've seen though and it has nothing to do with having thicker skin is the look at me generation. Where attention has become a commodity, now I'm not saying that all suicide are like this but I've noticed somethings. I've had a few girls(and guys) come to me threating suicided over some of the most trivial stuff. I've had serious problems in my life and have completed suicide before and when people come to me saying that I take it seriously.

However, its hard not to smack them because they think they should end their lives because their parents grounded them and now they can't go to the dance or whatever(true story). It makes me feel that they are not coming to me because I'm a trusted friend and they need my help, but they just want attention from me.

Back on the subject of bulling, it is a problem. It ruins people and makes them feel like social pariahs and thats not how you make a person grow or get thicker skin. Nowadays kids are thrown into a world were people can reach them 24/7 phones, computers and ect ect. A world were everyone has a camera and puts their thoughts, feelings, and expressive art up on the web for it to be judged by everyone. The Internet isn't a kind place either.

Its a complex and interesting problem that makes me consider taking sociology for when I go to college.

reply to post by Thermo Klein


I think the goal is to eventually have a society populated by, and run by less aggressive and insanely idiotic bullies that are instead willing to listen and listen intelligently, and to more often compromise, rather than having a society of subordinates thrown around like rag dolls by the pompous nobility who chose to forge closed minded forms of control, often motivated by ignorance, fear, intolerance, or a combination of them, thereby attempting ridiculous subjugation upon all that they see. And they say, it's just about "fairness" lol! Fair is the color of my arse.

Domination by the use of fear and control of knowledge and freedom. Sounds like one of the most insidious forms of slavery and deception mankind has never known.

But don't worry bully victims, for there is sunshine and rainbow colored puppies; fear not, after all they do say the dollars will surely caress you to slumber and enlightenment.




ps: # bullies. If i could go back in time, id haunt every one of them in their sleep for at least a night. Oh wait...

I kid, i kid.

It's hypocritical when the same people who want kids not to bully one another have no problem whatsoever bullying entire countries, ethnicities, or religions...see Muslim Arabic Iraqis or Iranians. Maybe an anti-hypocracy campaign is in order.

What its really about is this...the gov't wants to condition the younger children to seek help from authority figures to fix all of their problems. When you become an adult, who is the ultimate authority figure in your life? They hate competition and don't want people to think for themselves or learn to solve problems...just beg for help. That's my $0.02.

reply to post by Thermo Klein


Ahh how the world goes round and round in insane circles...Wasn't too long ago "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" was the catch phrase for bullying, and now it "words can kill"...

Personally, I would bet most bullying is simple name calling which has a purpose and can construct some thicker skin on these kids so they don't' run and tattle, or call the cops every time a "problem" comes up in their life.

There is an extreme kind of bullying though that leave the simple bounds of "bullying" and enters the realm of "assault" or violent crime. In those cases there are already laws in place that deal with those situations where there is an assault.

We cannot strip the world of adversity and struggles; the lessons learned conquering them are invaluable to our livelihoods.

poor kids of today... I feel for them...

I wonder how I survived the 80s...

Bunch of sissies we're raising now! Stop over protecting kids. When I was a kid there wasnt even a "scientific term" for most of the crap... if the kid is a jerk hes bullying, if he runs too much hes hyper active, if he doesnt run hes depressed, if he exchanges some jabs with another its illegal and prolly the losing kid's parent will file a lawsuit against the other kid for "agression", if he stays home too much hes prolly lonely and depressed, if he wants to go out too much he prolly has some sort of weird disorder or has problems at home or with his parents.

Let the kids be kids... let them bully and be bullied. Just let them grow up naturally without interference. It will all end up fine... just like it happened to you.

Originally posted by Biigs
reply to post by kimish

 

what your surgesting though only happens to apply to those capable of fighting back and winning and proving the point.

WHat if they try to do that and end off far worsly beaten (just the invitation the bully is looking for in the first place)

Thats not how you fight a war on bullying and violence to young people

In that case you tell the kid to get the biggest stick or
baseball bat, and when they come to mess with him
knock them over the heads with the bats