posted on Feb, 7 2012 @ 12:09 PM
Although what you wrote is basically true, you forgot to include "infatuation" in the equation. I have always felt that infatuation is what brings
a couple together, and it is a trick of nature, sort of like a high the brain enjoys, so that the species perpetuates itself. Infatuation, and
hormones, is what makes you get involved sexually in the first place.
Infatuation, like a high, only exists for a limited time, and then it is gone. If the couple is mature and believes in commitment and respect,
hopefully when the infatuation fades, it is replaced by what we know as "love". Love can only occur over time between two people. If it is
instantaneous, you can be sure it is just a crush.
Infatuation is the basis for many divorces. A couple is married for a while, the infatuation fades, and the immature brain of one or both registers
this as "falling out of love". They meet somebody else, the infatuation flares up, and they assume they are now "in love" with the new person.
I worked with a lady from India who's first real date with her husband was on her wedding night. She explained that her parents made the choice,
because they are older and know better, and if she met him in the presence of her family and didn't outright reject him, the wedding was set. I
asked her how awkward it was on the wedding night. She blushed and indicated it was quite awkward, but perfectly OK, because she trusted the judgment
of her parents and understood that the marriage was a forever deal.
She went on to say that our American confusion over infatuation vs. love, and our quickness to divorce and start over with somebody else, is why we
are all broke, financially as well as emotionally. She explained that the American ideal of falling in love is silly kid's stuff.
Years ago, I would have taken offense and thought she was off her rocker. Now that I am older and wiser, I see that she is absolutely correct. We
have it all wrong in our culture, and the rate of divorces, broken hearts and broken homes is proof of it.