Some pastors caught themselves a wiccan!!!

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posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 12:53 AM
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Just found this amazing post, I didn't know that you could attract them with Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches....

www.landoverbaptist.net...

My boy and I caught ourselves a Wiccan and we have him down in the basement chained up to the furnace. I estimate his weight at roughly 300 lbs, he's a plunker, with pale skin, and he's down there just cryin' for his momma right now!

We're shouting scripture verses down the stairwell as I am typing this. Sister Vera, you and your husband outta come by the place later tonight and have a look at this. I just called the Sheriff, and he says he will be by in about three hours, so make haste! You've gotta see this one before the law takes him out!

[edit on 16-9-2004 by Netchicken]




posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:11 AM
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Time for a ho-down?

Lets see, would a wiccan kidnap and falsely imprison someone just because they had a different faith? Who's really the evil one here?
Interesting find NC....



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:22 AM
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I can't believe they called the cops and the cops took the "wiccan" away to jail? What a #ed up area to be living in. I really hate religious zealots. The christian ones are just as worse as the muslims in my opinion. This really pissed me off. If I was living near that town, I would burn down every single one of their homes (jk) (not really). #in Christians!!!!!!



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:33 AM
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I sent the address to "The Witches Voice" (www.witchvox.com...) the biggest and most respected site for us here on the net and received this back


Greetings CloudDancer Mogle (LadyV),

Landover Baptist is a spoof site. It's all tongue and cheek and
satire...



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:38 AM
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www.landoverbaptist.org... is a spoof baptist site.
It's pretty funny!



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:39 AM
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Aww you beat me LadyV hehe



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:48 AM
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OK...now I feel better. That site is just disturbing....not funny.


Because there are alot of people out there that actually do think along the lines of these people.



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:49 AM
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I was starting to smell smoke... the smoke of landover babtist church going up in flames. The really not funny part about this is that some people were taking this seriously. I come from Oklahoma, where these kind of "deliverance christians" abound like bunnys... really serious people, who will threaten to kidnap children of wiccans to "save them from the fire".

funny but scary...



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:51 AM
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I thought it sounded a bit far fetched. I've never heard of a baptist doing any such thing. ..well, maybe an old regular baptist. (kidding!) Thanks to those who uncovered the truth. The part I found most unbelievable was that Pastor Wilkins had an avatar. No one with that mentality could likely find a message board much less create an avatar. Wiccans rest assure, you don't have a 300 lb brother in Pastor Wilkin's basement being proded by his family for fun. It did paint a funny picture, didn't it?



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 10:53 AM
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Originally posted by LazarusTheLong


funny but scary...


Very scary...back when my children were small, I was rather guarded with my faith and who knew....these days I am completely open. There really are people out there that do think that way....very, very scary!



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 01:42 PM
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That was great! I just registered as Brother Jonna. Let's see what kind of mayhem I can stir up.



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 02:59 PM
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Its a joke??!!

I have just been busy making a wiccan box to keep one in. I was going to catch one for myself as well!



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 03:03 PM
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Originally posted by Netchicken
I have just been busy making a wiccan box to keep one in. I was going to catch one for myself as well!


Be sure to get some insect repellant collars if you are going to keep them as pets. You know those naturey, out-doorsy types. They're picking up ticks all the time.




*duck and cover*



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 03:05 PM
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more in the thread from the pastor who caught the wiccan...


We had that feller down in the basement nearly half the night, until Officer Hargraves showed up and took him down to the Freehold Jail.

Ya'll should have seen Sister Vera's boy just havin' a ball down there. He would poke that fat Wiccan with a stick, and the hell bound Warlock would just howl and flinch like the dickens! I'll bring the pictures by fellowship hall on Sunday night.

I don't think we'll be seeing any Wiccans around Leviticus Acres anytime soon. I know they are ugly, and dangerous creatures, But I find that when you get one of the pale skinned buggers away from their coven - they are pretty harmless. What a hoot!



Anyone got some good ideas how you catch one? What about disguising yourself as a tree and sneek up on them making fairy sounds...

[edit on 16-9-2004 by Netchicken]



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 03:24 PM
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Anyone got some good ideas how you catch one?


I've heard that "Charmed" DVDs, Gift Certificates to Hot Topic or for free Tattoos make great bait...



Seriously though, I'm glad to hear it was just a joke...probably would have realized it had I bothered to check the site, hehe.....


And Lady V, the "bait" I suggested is mostly for the "posers", hehe...



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 03:43 PM
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Thought I caught me one ov them wiccins onced.... All black clothes an' wacky hair...turns out it was one of them there goths. So I threw 'em back.


[edit on 16-9-2004 by Der Kapitan]



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 05:35 PM
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Originally posted by LadyV
...back when my children were small, I was rather guarded with my faith and who knew....
There really are people out there that do think that way....


It's nice to hear about others who are the same way, or in your case, who had been the same way, as I am. I would love to let others know about my beliefs, but in this area of Wisconsin, they are very much indeed 'backwoods hicks'! And yes, I agree that Vox is a good site!

On a side note...

Heheheheh... they'll never catch me! They think I am one of them! And to think I am ordained as well (Protestant). Before anyone askes "Why?", I'll just say hedging all bets.



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 05:46 PM
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Here you go NC, a perfect "hook" for you and the wiccan trap:


Attention!



Free Black Cats available.
Contact Netchicken for more details.



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 05:56 PM
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Originally posted by Gazrok

Anyone got some good ideas how you catch one?


I've heard that "Charmed" DVDs, Gift Certificates to Hot Topic or for free Tattoos make great bait...



Lessee... I could also use an Ipod! We Wiccans need nice Ipods to keep our ritual music on! And... hmm... Loreen McKennett CDs... yeah! Lemme start a list for y'all!

Byrd the Wiccan



posted on Sep, 16 2004 @ 05:57 PM
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Ooooooo!!!!!! Kitties, too!!!! (I have two, yes.)

Wow! I like this idea! Keep the goodies coming! But... no more jelly on the peanut butter sandwiches, okay? I like just plain ol' peanut butter. On Multigrain bread.





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