What does this mean?

Okay, my name is Andrew and I been lurking this site for a good week or so and today I decided to make an account after finding out some interesting news about me today.

Today while preparing for the super bowl, I was talking to my mom how I really don't believe on the existence of god. All of the sudden she flipped out, but today was different because she never flipped out on me before, she just tells me to go to church and get my mind straight.

Anyways, she flips out on me and tells me to sit down and listen, So i do. Her first words were "Today I will tell you something you do not know and since you are 19 you should know about it now. So my mom explained to me that when I was living in our old apartment (we live in a house now) that when I was 2-3 years old I used to wake up between 2-4 a.m. and scream, banged out the wall and bang on my knuckles. Speaking in different languages and tongues. This freaked me out! and I always wondered why I had a broken knuckle. She told me one of those nights she hold me and prayed to god and apparently it went away.

Now I do not remember any of this well of course cause I was so young, but I do remember when we moved to our new house I used to wake up around 3 a.m. and scream, my head was hurting and I was so dizzy, I felt like someone was spinning me, the world felt different, I used to have vivid dreams of me killing and dying. It stopped after a few months. I was 7 years old. But I just thought I was just having bad migraines lol.

But before my mom told me this today, I have always feared of going to church, whenever I am forced to go to church I feel like crap and so out of place, I do not know why. I am also very interested in ghosts and paranormal subjects, especially demonic subjects. I had always felt like someone was watching me, and I hear voices here and there. I also had thoughts about selling my soul to the devil, and becoming evil, sometimes I would out burst about killing and being "evil".

It never bothered me, I have never ever thought I was possessed or anything like that, I just live my life like a regular teenager in college, I party, drink, Do not smoke, I have fun. I just have those weird moments and thoughts. And after the incident when I was 7 years old nothing has happen, hopefully *knocks on wood*

After hearing this story my mom told me, It kinda makes sense, what does this mean??? Should I look for some help? But All I can say is that no I don't have any type of ghostly experiences, like seeing ghosts etc. *knocks on wood* lol

If you have any information for this thank you

P.s. I talked to my family after what my mom told me, and they all confirmed that it used to happen when I lived up north in New Jersey but they never told me, so it doesn't come back to me.

It could be related to something that manifested itself into your child psyche. In other words, there could have been something going on at the time that caused you to have episodes, but, it is not to say that it was cured by any supernatural intervention.

If your mom was praying for you at the time she was also likely making real efforts in other means to improve your quality of life. That in itself could have ridden you of the episodes.

That's about it. Without more information a detailed analysis of the situation can't be made and I wouldn't recommend publicly posting all the information related to that time period anyhow.

reply to post by boncho


How can I provide more information? Please explain

Originally posted by mellowdrew
reply to post by boncho

 

How can I provide more information? Please explain

Things to take into account would be whether or not your parents were together/separated. Was there any turmoil in the family at the time? Did your parents work long hours where you were neglected. Etc, etc, etc.

Did you have any issues with siblings or other children that you were in contact with?

Bottom line... Was there any type of trauma or behavioral issues going on during the time of the episodes?

That would be a start I suppose.

I'd say this is the result of forcing religious beliefs on a child. At a young age the mind isn't fully developed and the imagination tends to take over quite often when we are kids.

You may not know it, but simply being told "you will go to hell if you do bad things" and teaching kids about the attrocities of hell, the devil and who knows what else. It impacts them subconciously, and this is probably what you were experiencing. Especially at such a young age, these things are bound to happen.

When it does happen, be it short stories of the devil impacting a child's mind until the imagination takes over... it's only going to force believers to believe in god even more.

I'm not talking about you personally but rather the many children that seem to have been brought up by religious families and experience what some might call "possesed". I hope i don't sound rude or anything, it's just one way to look at things and the one that makes sense to me. This is one of the reasons i am against people teaching religious beliefs to children, as it can change people dramatically before their natural personality even begins to develop.

reply to post by InsideYourMind

You may not know it, but simply being told "you will go to hell if you do bad things" and teaching kids about the attrocities of hell, the devil and who knows what else. It impacts them subconciously, and this is probably what you were experiencing. Especially at such a young age, these things are bound to happen.

I overlooked that angle, but you are absolutely right (quite possible). Self fulfilling prophecies. Also one of the reasons for early self image issues (no positive reinforcement).

I see you've started your first thread...Flag from me...star too.

We met in your intro thread. I *sensed* absolutely nothing evil in your energy. Quite to the contrary, you have a gentle soul. Don't let other people push their fears onto you. I surmise, someone did that to you as a very young child.

Keep growing in your personal strength.......

Bright Blessings,

Des

reply to post by InsideYourMind


Okay I understand well here is more details

1. I was forced to go to church every friday since I had to go to a Catholic school, but I remember being very angry every day. Lonely, I used to tear up the bibles, draw in them and have insane thoughts. I was afraid of church in a way that I will do every possible thing to not enter a church.

2. I had a very stable family, my mom and dad, no siblings. My dad worked late night shifts and my mom was always home.

3. She told me how these things used to bother her at night, where they used to shake the bed, knock all over and toss things around.

4. I was never abused, outside of school I had friends, best friends , always in the pool swimming, I was normal as you say.

5. I used to have vivid dreams when I was child, hell was breaking loose through the bottom of bed and times where I was sleeping and I would see the same things.

6. I also just remembered that before we left the apartment, that I don't know why, and what made me do this but I remember putting something in the microwave and it caught on fire, I put it in the trash and watch it burn up in flames and I went to bed, since it was a one bedroom apartment i slept with my mother, she started to smell smoke and I told her to calm down and relax nothing is going on. Next thing I remember was being outside with the fire department cause my whole kitchen caught on fire.

7. I was destructive , I used to grab my dad's hammer and break my toys and pretend to kill all my action figures

yes I remember this all, very vivid. I am telling you, I had no rough childhood, no abusement, nothing out of the ordinary besides me.

I want to know what is going on, why this happen to me when I was a child, after the story my mom told me, I need to find answers, I need to know why.

Originally posted by mellowdrew
reply to post by InsideYourMind

 

Okay I understand well here is more details

1. I was forced to go to church every friday since I had to go to a Catholic school, but I remember being very angry every day. Lonely, I used to tear up the bibles, draw in them and have insane thoughts. I was afraid of church in a way that I will do every possible thing to not enter a church.

2. I had a very stable family, my mom and dad, no siblings. My dad worked late night shifts and my mom was always home.

3. She told me how these things used to bother her at night, where they used to shake the bed, knock all over and toss things around.

4. I was never abused, outside of school I had friends, best friends , always in the pool swimming, I was normal as you say.

5. I used to have vivid dreams when I was child, hell was breaking loose through the bottom of bed and times where I was sleeping and I would see the same things.

6. I also just remembered that before we left the apartment, that I don't know why, and what made me do this but I remember putting something in the microwave and it caught on fire, I put it in the trash and watch it burn up in flames and I went to bed, since it was a one bedroom apartment i slept with my mother, she started to smell smoke and I told her to calm down and relax nothing is going on. Next thing I remember was being outside with the fire department cause my whole kitchen caught on fire.

7. I was destructive , I used to grab my dad's hammer and break my toys and pretend to kill all my action figures

yes I remember this all, very vivid. I am telling you, I had no rough childhood, no abusement, nothing out of the ordinary besides me.

I want to know what is going on, why this happen to me when I was a child, after the story my mom told me, I need to find answers, I need to know why.

Friendly bit of advice man....


Edit the last thread to avoid the admiting of arsen on a open forum


Peace.

reply to post by mellowdrew


You just described about a million other kids as well *Maybe except for setting the kitchen on fire.

As far as your relationship you had with the family, it's relative, because it's all you really know. But even given healthy relationships and no direct issues, you are still left with the bible and the stories of hell, etc. As another poster mentioned, you were indoctrinated with these things early on.

So...

I would lean towards that as an answer.

Think about it this way, you used to say you dreamt about hell. If no one would have told you what hell was, what would you have thought you saw in your dream?

eh, but what my mom told me, and my family knows about it too is still kinda of freaky to me. I'm pretty sure that isn't normal stuff.

Sounds like a cross between anxiety and a very open mind.

Where does your soul take you?
What is it YOU want to do?


You are in no danger. The crossroad is before you, what is it your heart wants you to do?

Follow your heart, it will answer your questions.

I used to have the same behaviour you had when I was a kid, the weird part is I remember clearly when that happened, all those years.
In my case, all was because I had very very crystal clear like dreams. And those were normal dreams a kid haves, like, dunno, being She-Ra, Spider Woman or a Power Ranger, dunno. I used to hit the wall on the side of my bed with fists and kicks, yelled and argued in a very loud volume and wake up my mom at least 3 times a week. The time span of this dreams was from 3 to 14 years old aprox.
I've never had any issue by going to church, because i see them like pretty buildings and nothing else (i'm a chaoist), however, when i was a kid i was catholic and i was in a catholic school too and i went to mass everytime we had one... Then I started to question my faith when I was like 14-15, and now i'm 27 and your god doesn't mean anything to me

anyway, you're not the only person who fought by night in their younger days, and I think that the "speaking in tongues" part must be an add-on of your mom to get you ass on the church again. It's a classic!!!.

reply to post by Darkblade71


My heart tells me to stay in school and keep myself sain

My mind tells me to kill, join the army, murder in numbers. I just never really pay mind to it since I just feel like "normal" nothing strange has happen to me in my teen years.

and No I'm not making this up, I just want answers

reply to post by Caggy


I understand now but she never forced to go to church, or become religious. We don't go to church now and haven't been to church in a very long time. We are not that religious , but she just believes in God. The tongues I assume is real, my mom has never lied to me and even my close cousin wouldn't lie to me, they don't even mention church. Plus I'm still not gonna go to church after hearing this.

Originally posted by InsideYourMind
I'd say this is the result of forcing religious beliefs on a child. At a young age the mind isn't fully developed and the imagination tends to take over quite often when we are kids.

You may not know it, but simply being told "you will go to hell if you do bad things" and teaching kids about the attrocities of hell, the devil and who knows what else. It impacts them subconciously, and this is probably what you were experiencing. Especially at such a young age, these things are bound to happen.

When it does happen, be it short stories of the devil impacting a child's mind until the imagination takes over... it's only going to force believers to believe in god even more.

I'm not talking about you personally but rather the many children that seem to have been brought up by religious families and experience what some might call "possesed". I hope i don't sound rude or anything, it's just one way to look at things and the one that makes sense to me. This is one of the reasons i am against people teaching religious beliefs to children, as it can change people dramatically before their natural personality even begins to develop.

edit on 6/2/2012 by InsideYourMind because: (no reason given)

I agree. OP, you are not evil or are you? You´re so young and your brain has not fully developed. You don´t like church so what? You are in the phase of becoming the adult you will be. Don't put to much stock in what your mum told you. What you do and contribute is what defines you. Not that you were a todler with sleeping issues.

reply to post by mellowdrew


Do you have any psychic abilities at all? Because if so, it might be what some would call a 'demon'.
I do not know whether they really are the creatures of Lucifer or anything from the bible, but I have met one before and I had similar behaviour, but I would however hear them whisper me in my bed and I saw their face about three or three times. They made me want to kill people and I killed many small critters and did all kind of silly things with their blood. I would often see through my eyes as if someone else and feel like my body was too small when that would happen. They would try to control me and keep me isolated so I couldn't ask for outside help and they came in my dreams as cats with human heads and made me kill my family and all and those were very vivid and abnormal dreams, thus why I remember them so well. I do not know exactly what I did, but they one night disappeared completely from my life and even after trying to get back to me, couldn't. You will or might already feel powerful because you think you can kill people and make them feel sick just by being around them or willing them to be, but you are really just week and they drain you of your abilities. I used to be very powerful and can now do almost nothing and have been doing meditation seances for some time to re-energise. I had a weird dream that I believe was psychic just after meditating where I thought I was awake very much and then my head started to spin so much it made me feel sick and eventually began to spin very quickly and I woke up still not knowing if what I dreamed about was real.
Anyway... let me know if you have psychic abilities. =P