Hello again preppers and survivalist. Life changing reality.

I will be thinking of all my ATS friends as I set alone on valentines day and wishing you all well Its my first one in 20 years Ive spent alone. I thing Ill take two sleeping pills and sleep the day away. As many of you have said to me keep pushing on I no longer have the strength or the want. my survival instinct is gone as well as my caring for life.

That makes two of us, never thought i'd be alone on valentines day, but here i am.
My kids have gone back to their mums, and i sit in a defening silence.
But i'm not going to give up, i'll keep fighting on, i've had no armed forces training, but to give up is not in my genes.

Hang in there ANGRY AMERICAN, if i can do it, so can you.

All the best my friend.

reply to post by andypb


And also to Angry American:

Don't sit at home alone today. Go find someone else who is alone today and spend it with them. People in nursing homes would love the visit. You might just find that it gives you a boost too. If not a nursing home, then an elderly neighbor. Pick some wildflowers and take to them.

Helping others will pretty much always make you feel better.

reply to post by TXTriker

Im possible the B!$@^ took my jeep because Her POS ford broke again so ime stuck here and live out in the boondocks too far to walk is not an option in this weather.

reply to post by angryamerican



It takes a man to realize his "crime", own it, confess it, and change it. Good on you.

Now you can look at these things in many ways, the personal armageddon things, but the fire can be refining. You get one life and no do overs when its over. Sometimes it takes time and success is defined many ways. Get your family back in this time that you can not work, but work toward working. Youre getting your license back soon. Thats one step. Just take it step by step, my friend, and be a new thing when you walk out of the fire.

Been there, done that. You CAN do it. Success isnt a new car or your expensive house. It is setting a goal and meeting it, regardless of what it is. Set real goals. No goal is too small and meet each one. Remember.. its refining and you will be a new thing when you walk out of it. Survival is survival and not always does it entail MREs and leathermans.

The DEFINITION OF SURVIVAL: The state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.


Your story of survival is in the perfect place on this website and should be an important topic to us all.

My son asked me in one of to few lucid moment if mom never comes back if I will marry again. My answer was quiq and to the point. No. There has always been and can only ever be one for me. I have no wish for another I would rather be lonely then ruin another life by constantly comparing them my ex.

reply to post by angryamerican


So you would constantly compare a new woman to the B$&#)tch that took your jeep? Why are you keeping her on a pedestal and why are you letting her come back to you everytime she can't take care of herself. It was her idea to leave remember? And now you let her take your jeep because her car broke down!

She wanted to be on her own make her take care of herself. Learn to say NO for a change.

reply to post by angryamerican


this is my prayer for you.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

well she slept in the same bed with me last night bat made it very clear it didn't mean she loved me she just missed the warmth of another human and until she finds her own place she will continue you to do so. talk about a slap in the face now ime just a heater. wish I had never made it back from GF1 the harrows over there didn't cause as much pain as she does day after day.

reply to post by angryamerican


to me that is a HUGE deal. is there any chance of counseling? in my opinion : dont' be needy. and listen to what she says without raising your voice no matter the subject.

she sounds angry. hurt. stressed. maybe? time does heal wounds.

and try your best to not to bring up the PAST!!!

reply to post by angryamerican


Why are you letting her do this? Why don't you move to another room or the couch? You are letting this happen. Stop it.

Were both in counseling but it doesn't help when she repeats the same lies to him that she does to everybody else

Originally posted by angryamerican
reply to post by TXTriker

 

Im possible the B!$@^ took my jeep because Her POS ford broke again so ime stuck here and live out in the boondocks too far to walk is not an option in this weather.

SUPER YUCK!

Did she even ask?

Sheesh!

And any kindness offered in return?

Ahhhhhh well . . . one has to make the best of whatever one's thrownness is. Or else get shredded under it.

I vote to make the best of it.

Originally posted by angryamerican
My son asked me in one of to few lucid moment if mom never comes back if I will marry again. My answer was quiq and to the point. No. There has always been and can only ever be one for me. I have no wish for another I would rather be lonely then ruin another life by constantly comparing them my ex.

That's a reasonable answer.

For me, I just am not interested in all the work that goes into such a relationship and the hassles maintaining it.

I have challenges enough taking care of myself.

I have known folks who felt as you do and later changed. That's OK, too. Providing they aren't delusional due to their genitals.

Usually, folks rush out and marry someone more or less like the one they just failed with. They may do that 4-5 more times. By the 7th time, they stop--not because they made a better match--but because they are tired of the costs material and emotional.

Most therapists encourage folks to wait at least 2 years between major romantic relationships. AND USE THE 2 YEARS TO GROW AND MATURE! LOL.

reply to post by angryamerican



SELF-RESPECT AND

"! NO !"

ARE HIGHLY IN ORDER.

SHE CANNOT RESPECT YOU

UNTIL YOU RESPECT YOURSELF.

She is NOT a beneficent goddess.

A spoiled immature twerp sounds more like it.

You CAN stand up to her and call a spade a spade in reasonable tones and body language.

You can insist on being treated with respect or distancing yourself immediately.

Sigh.

We care for you.

I think it shows.

reply to post by angryamerican



Keep a journal.

Document the lies.

SPEAK UP IMMEDIATELY AND NOTE "THAT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE. THE TRUTH IS . . . "

You can also say things like . . .

"Sometimes I don't know how you keep track of the lies or the truth. How do you have the foggiest idea who or what you are? You tell lies when telling the truth would be easier and more beneficial. What happens inside of you to trigger all the lies? Did you have to tell lies to avoid being hit as a toddler? What's with all the lies?"

I would not say such things hoping for any great reconciliation.

I'd say such things because I wanted to side with and stand on the side of TRUTH for my own sanity and integrity.

Also, no counselor can build anything on lies. And most GOOD counselors SHOULD spot the lies a dozen miles away. Many don't if the person telling the stories matches their own biases too intensely--and the counselor hasn't worked through enough of their own stuff.

Originally posted by angryamerican
Were both in counseling but it doesn't help when she repeats the same lies to him that she does to everybody else

Personally, I'd select the 3-4 most influential OTHER folks she tells the lies to and confront them.

Let them know the truth and tell them they ARE NOT DOING HER ANY FAVORS to encourage her in her lies.

It only results in her handling life and reality MUCH MORE poorly.

Gads what a mess she's woven for herself.

I would wager her relationship with her Dad was miserable and possibly the dad was a miserable excuse for a dad? Or was it the Mom or both?

I'd wager the Dad.

What's the truth?

Have you looked at the ATTACHMENT DISORDER ARTICLES?

teacher.scholastic.com...

Dr Perry has other excellent articles on the topic.

The odds are you both have very significant degrees of ATTACHMENT DISORDER.

It takes work to overcome such. Relationships tend to be conflicted in the meantime.

And, the best book is

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1329452010&sr=1-1

Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and ACT the Way You Do: Unlock the Secret to Loving and Lasting Relationships (Kindle Ed)

My dearest friends I am so sorry Its Been Days sens Ive postesrted. I am.in the Hospital. My Son went to hit and push his mother and I stepped in. he pushed me and I fell over shoes striking my head on the floor and knocking myself out. my son then prodece to break every bone in my face with his fist. he is being chARGED WITH ATTEMPTED MURDER its out of my hand it manditory by the state of michigan. As for me I get to look forwaRD TO MANY MONTHS OF RECONTROCTUTIVE SURGURY sorry bout the caps moapaphine will do that to you. you guy are my only company not even my own famil hs come fvisiit me.

Oh mate, i'm so sorry to here this news.
Just get better soon, will be thinking of you.

reply to post by angryamerican


damn. wow. i was hoping to hear some better news. prayers coming your way. i am in disbelief that all this is happening to you now... timing sucks.
Maybe this is the bottom and all you can do is go UP???

reply to post by angryamerican


everyone here seems to be hating on "her" but i guess i see it differently because you still love her (i think by your earlier posts). yes there are issues but every relationship takes WORK. both parties have to want it though.

but i wanted to ask, is she ok? he didn't hurt her did he?

maybe with your son's drama and antics out of the way it will be better between you and her?

is he in jail? if he was arrested, did she bail him out? just curious.