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Is unconditional love (Agape) really good?

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posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 11:42 AM
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Isn't this sort of like slavery... What if someone wants to control you and they will feel really hurt if you don't let them. How do you love yourself and them at the same time?

What if someone is torturing you, is it really a good idea to show them unconditional love and how do you show unconditional love to yourself AND the other person?

If you love everyone and everything and your life as it is, how do you ever make changes?

What do you think of this?




posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 11:44 AM
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My puppy shows me unconditional love and its really good for me



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 11:49 AM
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reply to post by micmerci
 


Yes, but suppose the dog was in danger by an enemy, is it wise for that dog to show it "unconditional love" even though it may cost it it's life?


Because unconditional love is supposed to be this universal law.
edit on 30-1-2012 by arpgme because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:01 PM
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I personally do not believe that unconditional love is a possibility in human beings, or any physically sentient being. Unconditional love is only possible if you are a spirit being who is not a part of this physical universe, and can watch things unfold from a safe distance.

All beings have the instinct for survival, and if somebody you love threatens that survival or causes you more pain than happiness, love disappears quicker than Natalee Holloway in Aruba. I'm not talking about need or co-dependency, but actual love.

Love is ALWAYS conditional, it's just that some people have a wider range of what they will accept than others.



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:05 PM
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Originally posted by arpgme
Isn't this sort of like slavery... What if someone wants to control you and they will feel really hurt if you don't let them. How do you love yourself and them at the same time?

What if someone is torturing you, is it really a good idea to show them unconditional love and how do you show unconditional love to yourself AND the other person?

If you love everyone and everything and your life as it is, how do you ever make changes?

What do you think of this?


Great question...and I think many confuse unconditional love with not fighting for what is right. It is loving to stand up to someone who is hurting your dog ?.. it is loving to stop someone from doing cruel and unloving acts?

God loves us..but He does not love everything humans do..and some seriously offend Him and hurt him.

Don't by into the unconditional love theory, unless you can acknowledge that reprimands and discipline are need to show love.

This is a New Age type of belief... that allows everyone to feel they can do whatever they want and still be loved...

news flash.. while God may always love us.. He has His conditions on what is moral and what isn't.


edit on 30-1-2012 by gabby2011 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:21 PM
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reply to post by arpgme
 



Because unconditional love is supposed to be this universal law.


I have never looked at it as such.

It is important to have it in a civil society though.

Unconditional love in transcendental, it is something unique to humans on this planet (with maybe a few debatable exceptions). Animals love for us is conditional. If a man beats his dog, the dog will not show love towards the owner, maybe fear and obedience but not love.

But if a child is abused by their father, that child could still love the father despite what the father has done to the child. Because we unlike most animals have the ability to forgive, to have compassion, empathy.

Now if I was walking down the street and was attacked by someone trying to mug or kill me, I wouldn't stop and ask "Where is the love man?"...no. My kubaton would quickly meet their temple.

But if he came to me years later and asked for my forgiveness I would say "I forgave you the moment you attacked me".

I pity the wicked and the depraved. And I do not condone what they do, I actively fight against their actions, no one is above justice.

But I still love them, even if some say they do not deserve love.



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:27 PM
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Loving your child ,at the same time not liking them is the only way I can try to understand it ...peace



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:28 PM
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Unconditional love is the only love. Anything else isn't pure love. I love my children and I disciplined them when they were young. I guided them when they were older. Now they consult me when they are unsure. What love would it have been if I had left them to their own devices when they were small? What if I had, as most parents do in these parts, protected them from everything but allowed them to do as they please to others or at the expense of others? Not really very good.

When you love unconditionally, you do simply that. It doesn't mean that because you love someone or some thing that you cannot see its flaws or that it is somehow perfect for you. What it means is that you love it *knowing* all those things, you *love* the differences. When you love yourself unconditionally you tolerate much more from others and from yourself. You are not threatened by the thoughts or actions of others because you have accepted everything by accepting yourself. Others are simply reflections of the Self. Feeling threatened by or judgmental of others is simply a demonstration of your own insecurity with your Self. None of it has anything to do with the other person.

Unconditional love is the imperative. Anything else is demonstrating your weaknesses.



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:30 PM
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Originally posted by gabby2011

Great question...and I think many confuse unconditional love with not fighting for what is right. It is loving to stand up to someone who is hurting your dog ?.. it is loving to stop someone from doing cruel and unloving acts?


It's loving to the person being harmed but NOT for the person who wants to cause the harm...

If you stop someone from being harmed, that means you love the potential victim and NOT the person doing the harm.

Love is acceptance and a feeling of liking. Do you really want to accept and like a person who is harming others or do you want to stop them?

This unconditional love may be a way of controlling people. Since it is unconditional love people can do whatever to you...


Originally posted by gabby2011
God loves us..but He does not love everything humans do..and some seriously offend Him and hurt him.


This question has nothing to do with God. It's a question for those that believe in this universal law of unconditional love being the greatest force.



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:33 PM
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Originally posted by arpgme
Isn't this sort of like slavery... What if someone wants to control you and they will feel really hurt if you don't let them. How do you love yourself and them at the same time?

What if someone is torturing you, is it really a good idea to show them unconditional love and how do you show unconditional love to yourself AND the other person?

If you love everyone and everything and your life as it is, how do you ever make changes?

What do you think of this?


Want to know how to love someone the way Christ teaches? Read the 10 commandments. You don't have to enslave yourself to someone to treat them right.

Nowhere in the bible is it written you have to give someone unconditional love. Showing love for other people is respecting them as a person, and helping them when they need it. Treat them as you would have them treat you and the 10 commandments.

If you love your life then youre doing something wrong, because christians are not supposed to love this life. You cannot be righteous and be selfish at the same time.



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:40 PM
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Originally posted by Openeye
reply to post by arpgme
 



Because unconditional love is supposed to be this universal law.


I have never looked at it as such.

It is important to have it in a civil society though.

Unconditional love in transcendental, it is something unique to humans on this planet (with maybe a few debatable exceptions). Animals love for us is conditional. If a man beats his dog, the dog will not show love towards the owner, maybe fear and obedience but not love.


I can understand that but this question was directed towards people who actually see love as this all powerful universal force...


Originally posted by the2ofusr1
Loving your child ,at the same time not liking them is the only way I can try to understand it ...peace


That's a contradiction...



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:45 PM
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The nice thing about being an atheist is that this unconditional stuff is subjective and becomes a function of rational thought - prior observations and experiences. Therefore to take a life to protect a victim is ok - if the victim is a serial killer - meh - not so much ok.



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 12:58 PM
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reply to post by spyder550
 


I'm asking about the people who DO believe in unconditional love as the greatest cosmic force...

can't it be taken advantage of?



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 01:12 PM
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Did you not read my post? It cannot be taken advantage of. When you love your Self, no *advantage* can be taken. You are always aware of conditions. You don't walk around in a stupor of love with a dim look on your face. You are aware and relishing every moment of existence. That is not to say that unfortunate things will never befall you and that you won't suffer, just as always before and forever more. But you have a greater understanding of *why* it happens and what the real lesson is behind it. You learn, you love, you accept, you tolerate, you give, you receive. And all the while you feel the astounding elegance of existence. You make mistakes and laugh at them. You feel so much more, but in a whole other way. It's a whole other experience. Even things that were previously experienced as negatives can be felt as beneficial and even desirable.

If you're looking for a big solution to all the world's problems, that may come in time. But only with deliberate and honest practice of unconditional love. It's not as hard as you think. You just have to understand that it is all about intent. It's where you start and carries you through everything that follows.



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 01:13 PM
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reply to post by spyder550
 


Do you think atheists have dibs on rational thinking? Do you have some manner of behavior or thought that precludes emotion? In that case, what can you know of love at all?



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 01:16 PM
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Originally posted by CosmicEgg
Did you not read my post? It cannot be taken advantage of. When you love your Self, no *advantage* can be taken. You are always aware of conditions.


That's exactly what I'm talking about. If you love yourself and other unconditionally what happens when another's happiness depends on controlling YOU? You have to make a sacrifice of love, either you sacrifice the love of the person so that won't get taken advantage of, or you sacrifice the love of self for the other person and let them take advantage of you.

It seems like in these moments you can't really have unconditional love both for others and yourself...



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 01:23 PM
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reply to post by arpgme
 


Love does not result in stupidity. Love is absolute. It does not mean that you do something against your will. That's not love in any healthy sense, unconditional or otherwise. Unconditional love will allow you to experience less threat to the self though. In doing that, you tolerate more. You have more to give to others and it does not feel like a sacrifice at all. There is virtually no memory of having given in any extraordinary measure. You do it because you can. You are free to. Do you see? When you love your Self your vision is not clouded by insecurity and subconscious or ulterior motives. You have total freedom and total clarity. You see when someone is attempting to use you and you may even allow it for some time in hopes that your love will light their way. If that is not the result, you can easily walk away because you have no emotional needs to be fulfilled by others. You are sufficient and perfect in yourself so there is no control to be had by others. Is that a little clearer now?



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 01:23 PM
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reply to post by arpgme
 
My child told me a lie ..I didnt like that and because I loved him was responcibal to explain the error he had made ..I loved him but did not like that he,him,was lying ..peace



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 01:37 PM
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Originally posted by the2ofusr1
reply to post by arpgme
 
My child told me a lie ..I didnt like that and because I loved him was responcibal to explain the error he had made ..I loved him but did not like that he,him,was lying ..peace


Then you don't really love him or you would have accepted him as he is instead of trying to change him and make him stop lying..



Originally posted by CosmicEgg
reply to post by arpgme
 


Love does not result in stupidity. Love is absolute. It does not mean that you do something against your will. That's not love in any healthy sense, unconditional or otherwise. Unconditional love will allow you to experience less threat to the self though. In doing that, you tolerate more. You have more to give to others and it does not feel like a sacrifice at all. There is virtually no memory of having given in any extraordinary measure. You do it because you can. You are free to. Do you see? When you love your Self your vision is not clouded by insecurity and subconscious or ulterior motives. You have total freedom and total clarity. You see when someone is attempting to use you and you may even allow it for some time in hopes that your love will light their way. If that is not the result, you can easily walk away because you have no emotional needs to be fulfilled by others. You are sufficient and perfect in yourself so there is no control to be had by others. Is that a little clearer now?


Ah, I THINK I understand what you are saying. Love is supposed to be Self centered, it doesn't mean giving up your own will for others it means loving yourself and loving them even if they don't love you back, but also doing what you love without caring about their opinion and loving them anyway...



posted on Jan, 30 2012 @ 01:45 PM
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reply to post by arpgme
 
I believe love is a action and inaction is not showing love ..We as humans need to be taught things .peace



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