reply to post by InfoKartel
I agree on the sound part. In fact, I think the sound is probably more important than the smack. When they are young, and in diapers, the diaper
makes an awesome pop, and there is no real pain, but there is shock and fear, so it gets the point across. The same with a smack on the hand, I
always try to make sure it gets that nice slap sound, I wouldn't want to just "hit" them, and cause pain or a bruise, without the sound. It is the
"slap" that makes it effective. If I am not within reach, I often smack the table top, or clap my hands to startle them and get their attention.
I also very, very rarely hit them after the fact. I only use it if I can catch them in the act, and I am close enough to do it right that second. I
don't actually believe in spankings just for the sake of spankings, although I have occasionally done it just to follow through on a threat. When I
have to do it in that capacity, I usually give them a lecture first, and make sure they understand why they are getting spanked, and how they had an
opportunity to avoid it, and then the spanking consists of one swat just for the sake of following through, and it probably doesn't even hurt.
I did leave bruises on my son once, but it had nothing to do with punishment, and it still got me lectures from mother-in-law, and my own brother.
We were playing in the pool, and I was tossing him up in the air and catching him in the water, and he ended up with finger marks around his
upper arm where I was catching him, and it looked like he had been grabbed very hard, which he had been, as I was catching him falling back to the
water. We often have pool parties, and the next day, several people were over playing, and they saw the marks around his arm, and I caught hell over
it twice! I'm glad my family is close, and bold enough to say something directly to me, and concerned enough to risk whatever backlash they might
get, and say it anyway. That is another part missing from many children these days. They need to have close extended family that will also look out
for their well-being, even if it means tense conversations. I didn't rebuke any one of them, I explained (which they confirmed with my son), and I
told them thanks for being concerned. Now, if any of them had been cowardly, and not confronted me directly, and got some authorities involved on
stupid allegations, the results would have been much different, for them and I both! That is another reason it is so important to NOT get authorities