Your Views On 'Smacking' children.

reply to post by XLR8R

That is rediculous. What would you do if your 10 year old tries to hit you because you lold him to go clean his room.

Where does a 10 year old learn to hit a parent when he's upset?

He's in a bad mood and deosn't know how to react to his sentiments? You sit him down and give him a time out? IMHO a good smack on the butt, not 10. ONE. It doesn't even have to hurt. Then explain. He'll understand and he'll have a little more respect.

Yes, yes, more symptom fighting than anything else if you ask me.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


First of all discipline is not part of smacking. Discipline in itself is part of the old ways of man not the future.

No man is able to discipline another because really it is only a continuity with past not something fresh and in this moment which is where the curiosities of children reside.

There is a huge difference.

If discipline is to happen it needs to be the child who disciplines the parent/adults not the reverse.

Difficult to understand with the mind as it has evolved, it is something of the divine which I speak to you about.

Originally posted by ALOSTSOUL
MP's have said in the media this week that the UK riots where caused by the lack of physical discipline, not the lack of jobs, education and a decent family lifestyle.

The Tottenham MP David Lammy claimed that Labour's 2004 decision to tighten up the smacking law was partly to blame for last summer's riots, which erupted in his north London constituency.

m.guardian.co.uk...

For you yanks out there, it is against the law in Great Britain to smack (spank) your child, although I have never heard of someone being convicted of it.

Personally I am undecided somtimes I think children do need a smack every now and then, mainly for there own sake. Lets say my daughter puts her finger in the plug socket do I give her a little slap (on the hand) and say "no, don't touch or it will hurt worse than that." luckly i haven't had to yet, she is still to young to crawl.

I understand that we live in different times (hell, I got a leather belt if I was naughty) but a complete lack of physical discipline can't be good for a Childs development can it?

I don't know, it's a very touchy issue, what are your views.

ALS

edit on 29-1-2012 by ALOSTSOUL because: (no reason given)

Spare the rod...spoil the child!

Originally posted by XLR8R
reply to post by InfoKartel

 

That is rediculous. What would you do if your 10 year old tries to hit you because you lold him to go clean his room. He's in a bad mood and deosn't know how to react to his sentiments? You sit him down and give him a time out? IMHO a good smack on the butt, not 10. ONE. It doesn't even have to hurt. Then explain. He'll understand and he'll have a little more respect.

ROFLMAO because the way to teach a child not to hit is toooooo...... wait for it...

HIT THEM BACK

ROFLMAO

Harm None
Peace

A spanking is good to instill discipline and authority over a naughty child and they'll learn not to do it again.

An aunt of mine refused to spank her kids (my cousins) and every single one of them have turned out to be boastful, arrogant, annoying, spoilt brats who need to be first at everything, even in adulthood.

A lot of the protestors out there have been raised in such families as I know from experience having been around some of them at non-protest situations (bars, music festivals etc) while the people I've known who work hard including myself have all been spanked every now and then when we did wrong.

reply to post by amazed


Size has nothing to do with it. Read the posts. It will shine some light on the matter. It's not abuse. Ever playfight with your kids? If you have any? Make belive you punch them. Then they make believe to punch you. You go down cringing pretending it hurts? Isn't that violence as well. It's teaching them violence but most good parents do it anyway, right? Same thing with "ONE" good smack on the butt when warned not to do something. It's teaching them violence yes, I agree. But so does Pokemon and the Smurfs. The only difference is they learn that there are consequence to there actions. And that we are not their friend but there parents. I'm not saying he picked his nose so smack him. Of cource not. See your kid smack his sibling and give him a time out for it. He'll do it again. You give him one good smack on the but and explain why, he won't do it again. I know I was a kid once too.

reply to post by amazed


Things cannot always be solved with words. Sorry, but that is naive and false. Step outside your apartment and have a look at the world. The world is a living, breathing, physical entity, and sometimes things get physical in either good or bad ways.

Actually, hitting someone makes sense even as adults. I've met some of my best friends as a result of fights that I have either won or lost, but gained mutual respect either way. Occasionally my brother and I let our relationship get to the point where we want to kill each other, and instead of parting ways and holding grudges, we just fight it out, and things work themselves out, and we are still friends. How many people do you know that have not spoken to a family member in years and years? Wouldn't it be better if they just fought and got it over with, and moved on with a working relationship?

I had a boss once that was prank-calling my wife while I was at work on the evening shift. It was very scary to her, and the police couldn't do much about it, but after some nifty trap setting, I caught him in the act, and beat him half to death with a telephone, and his fat buddy too, and then they both got fired and I got moved to the day shift! Violence solved several issues in that case!

I've argued and bickered with people for hours, days, weeks, sometimes even years, and then one day things come to a heated end, and after a couple of straight shots to the mouth, we come to see each other's point of view, LOL!

There isn't a damn thing wrong with physical altercations, and it has nothing to do with intelligence. I'll put my intellect, IQ, or education up against anybody's. I play the part of a regular joe really well, but I've got skills that only come out at work or in elite company, LOL!

Physical altercations are much, much preferable to police involvement, or shootings, or poison running beneath the surface making every interaction unpleasant.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


Violence is wrong. Children submit to state violence (stupid statutes, rules etc.) because they have gone through violence in family or school.

reply to post by FIFIGI


So, you are against spanking a child, but for total anarchy?

Children are not supposed to submit to the laws of the land?

It seems to me that the people in here that are totally against it, were abused- not disciplined.

I honestly don't understand why they associate a smack, or spanking with beatings/abuse. Its very sad.

With my own daughter I followed the example my parents set. They did not believe in corporal punishment and never once hit me for any reason. I obeyed because I respected them.

How I was punished was a bit like the court system. They would let me give my explanation and I knew that if I lied the sentence would be far worse, so I learned quickly not to lie. They would take something I liked away from me or I'd have to spend time in my room with nothing to do. That was the worst.

There was no parole, no shortened time for good behavior, if I got a week in my room after school and on weekends, it was a full week. It worked with me.

I did the same with my own daughter and used the same methods. She was well behaved by age three and I never had any problems with her. She did great in school and is doing great as an adult. Never once did I feel the need to hit her.

I think violence is passed down from parents to children. I see it as failing as a parent if the only way you can control your children is with pain and violence.

I think where many fail is they do not realize that it starts at a young age and if your child is disobedient at age three it's to late. It's your fault. The "terrible two's" are not cute or just the way it is. Your children are testing their environment and how they interact with you is defined by whether or not you control them at that age. You don't take them in hand at that age, there are no second chances.

With my own daughter at that age, when she tested me I responded by putting her favorite thing on a shelf in a closet for a couple of days. She would obsess on that item and be miserable for the entire time only able to think of that item and that she wanted it. It worked great. No problems at school, skipped grades twice, full scholarship in an Ivy League school I could have never afforded. I'm glad for her sake I learned my parents lesson well.

Most importantly they don't view you as a source of violence and they don't carry that violence on to their children. They view you as somebody they can trust and can come to no matter what and be honest because they have nothing to fear from you.

~ Astrid Lindgren, author of "Pippi Longstocking" (From a peace prize acceptance speech)

"When I was about twenty years old, I met an old pastor's wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn't believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time.

"But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking — the first in his life. And she told him he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying.

"He said to her, 'Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here's a rock you can throw at me.'

All of the sudden a mother understood how the situation felt from the child's point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone.

"The mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. Because violence begins in the nursery — one can raise children into becoming violent."

You know what amuses me? Not that it matters but I just wanna shed some light on this. We have seen the TPTB make some decisions for us and that fact is becoming more popular these days. Many of you complain about it. Not too many of you are advocates of them making our decisions and the decisions they've made. And don't scream democracy this and democracy that. Our democracy is just plain BS. Makes some of you think you're helping make decisions and I don't know if you've noticed but...you're not. Now...we've been raising kids the same way for 1000s of years and its been working just fine. So...what makes you think these new guidelines are in our best interest??? When you look at the crap on TV and the way kids dress...and the fact that our fricken hands are tied behind our backs...I wonder how much more trashed the future of humanity will be. If you don't wanna spank your kids, that's fine. But don't come after us and start telling us its the "law" and then log onto ATS next week and bitch about TPTB.

Growing up we had the "BELT". I spent a lot of time growing up crying in my room from that. But in long run I must say that it never stopped me. I was always in trouble. Curiosity more than anything else. My daughter never got spanked. I always thought that there was other ways to control the situation. One time she showed up with pink stripes in her hair. I sent her to her room. Later she asked when she could come out and I told her that she could not because she was grounded and that she would stay in her room except for food, bathroom and school. She asked how long she would be grounded. I told her as long as there was pink hair on her head,or any other non-natural crazy color. She went to the bathroom and between the scissors and rubbing alcohol and a lot of effort the pink was gone and the grounding was over. Sorry for the flashback but the point is that there are alternatives. But to be truthful some of these things will scare them for much longer than a spanking. They are our kids so think hard on what punishment is appropriate before you punish them.

I was spanked, sometimes with a belt when I was a child. It was terrifying at the time, but it wasn't anything that I wasn't able to deal with it, even as a young child. It didn't really ever fix things. I was the way I was because my parents were always either yelling, stressing out loud or just plain ordering me to do things on a constant basis. Their personality was why I would act out and why I would sometimes beg for attention. I was a child though, and I don't hate them for what they did because I was a real hyper child that would have stressed even myself out.

All the same, there are a lot of parents out there who will substitute a smack or spanking instead of facing their own bad parenting skills.

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reply to post by Furbs


Duly noted, but I think I'll sleep just fine tonight.

Hell if my mom and grandma never gave me a spankin I would of grown up to be a terror. I thank them for what they did. I don't mean go all out busting arse, but a "smack" on the butt or hand is enough to tell and remind a child "Don't do that again!"

reply to post by Starchild23

Originally posted by Starchild23

Originally posted by remyrange
I think, that if you can get your kid be behave adn act respectful, then no spanking is neccissary. But if not, then a wooden spoon can go a a long way. I have two boys. They usually are well behaved. But every once in a while, the wooden spoon must be used. You can only tell a 4 year old that what they did was bad so many times before they become deaf to what your saying. I only spank my children when necissary.

Why on earth would you use a wooden spoon?? You may as well smack them in the face with a metal spatula!

Use your hand. It makes it more personal, so you can feel exactly what you're doing. It should keep you from going overboard.

I think using your hand is worse than using a wooden spoon. And I think that anybody could go just as overboard with their hand as a spoon. If a person is worried about going overboard, then perhaps he/she should not spank at all.

Also, check this link out. Dobson recommends using a neutral item for punishment. He believes, and I agree, that the image of a parents hand should be preserved as a loving helping thing. That using your hand will destroy that image for a child.

www.beliefnet.com...

Can you imagine a child being afraid of your hand?

I would rather them be afraid of the wooden spoon.

Originally posted by Furbs

The more of your posts I see, the more vulgar the picture of you that is painted.

I don't know. He certainly seems to be inhabiting the real world, which is more than can be said about many posters on ATS.

I have observed that many people who virulently reject violence are also the people who tend to be physically weak but who consider themselves to be superior.

It could be argued that never spanking a child is just as bad as abusing a child.

All things in moderation after all.