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Hello I'm new (original title)

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posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 10:01 PM
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Hello I'm new and very suspicious of everyone on here and the rest of the internet. Sometimes I think people are following me untill I realize they're just in line waiting for a burger. Speaking of burgers I inspect everything I eat for contamination since I do not trust anyone. I have a job but I'm not going to tell you where I work. I have a gender but I won't tell you that either. I will tell that I am a human being and 30 years old. That may be a lie to throw you off though. For all you know I'm a 47 year old hippopotumous (which would explain the spelling errors and typos.) I don't not believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis. I havn't poven nor disproven any of these. I don't not believe that you can't not use double negatives or other gramatic errors becouse I just did. In case you havn't noticed I'm only half serious about my introduction because I again am very suspicious of everyone on the internet. So thank you for welcoming me to the sight.




posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 10:04 PM
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reply to post by iamthelaw614
 


Hi iamthelaw614, and welcome to the Introductions Forum, a place to say hello to the ATS community. For now you can reply to any thread in any member forum you wish, as well as send & receive (PM's) Private Messages to Staff only for now.

Once you have achieved 20 posts, you will then be able to start your own threads in the appropriate forums and additionally send & receive messages to and from fellow ATS members.

Some handy links, links and more links.

Index of Important ATS Related Threads

Start Here - ATS Freshmans Forum

Hey new members!! Come here if you need advice

Starting a New Thread ?... Look Here First

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posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 10:10 PM
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reply to post by iamthelaw614
 

I used to be paranoid too but now I'm completely cured. Now I KNOW everyone is out to get me...

Welcome to ATS, hope to see you around.



posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 10:14 PM
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There is an obvious cure for internet hostility, suspicion, but I will not share it.
Welcome to ATS, enjoy posting.



posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 10:22 PM
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I don't not believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis


I Welcome you to this site, but, why are you here then?



posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 10:54 PM
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Welcome to ATS...here's your official ATS straightjacket...wear it proudly...



posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 11:04 PM
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reply to post by lBLaCkOuTl
 
Well I could be saying that I do believe in these things, I could also be saying that I do not not believe in them. I also could be paraphrasing a line from ghostbusters. Either answer is correct, or should I say none of them are wrong.



posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 11:07 PM
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reply to post by iamthelaw614
 
YOU are going to be fun to read. I hope you post often.



Welcome to the show!
beez



posted on Jan, 29 2012 @ 01:16 AM
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Welcome iamthelaw614 to a Disney-like Park for Conspiracy Theorist...!


A few thoughts before getting onto any one of the 1000's of topical rides at Above Top Secret (ATS).


* Please check out those links posted by the Moderator above before getting on one of the rides. This will save you a lot of future stress, frustration and possible action by one of your friendly neighborhood Mods!

* Please be sure that you act like an 'civil' adult and are at least this tall to get on any of the rides, (Johnny stretches his arm outward).

* Please remember that some members are very passionate and vocal depending on what ride your all on. Make sure you are mentally fit with a strong stomach for theory, research and evidence presented.

* Please be "open-minded" enough to know that sometimes the ride isn't always what you might expect. Be aware you also might learn something new and 'out-of-the-box' before you get off the ride.

* Please note that at times the ride gets overly-heated and "it's strongly suggested" to get off the ride to regroup one's thoughts before continuing. This will help guarantee that the ride will continue without getting derailed or explode into a fiery trashbin.

* Please have fun! But be aware that if you act in an uncivil manner and/or get verbally abusive, you will be removed off the ride by a Moderator. This is not only for your safety, but also those on the ride with you.


So buckle up, keep your arms within the comfort zone, have fun and "Deny Ignorance"...!



Johnny



posted on Jan, 29 2012 @ 12:52 PM
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iamthelaw614,

Sounds like you need to relax a little and not be so paranoid. I suppose you really need to ask yourself why anyone would be so interested in you?



posted on Jan, 29 2012 @ 03:59 PM
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reply to post by JohnnyAnonymous
 

That is the best welcome post I have ever seen. Kudos!
It belongs in the Book of Classics. Made me think of a Bill Hicks skit, "life is just a ride".


PS Is the heart in expectation of Valentine's Day in your avatar?


edit on 29/1/12 by LightSpeedDriver because: Typo



posted on Jan, 29 2012 @ 04:02 PM
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That has to be the best intro ever! LOL!!


Welcome to ATS!




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