Originally posted by Eidolon23
As for your first question, yes, it most definately should be applied more universally. If it was we would have a lot less problems in the world
because people would be a lot more understanding towards each other. But since it's not we should probably start here on the "ground level" as it
were and focus on each other individually.
I think what you're referring to though are the basic
traits we all share, and I suppose that's a good place to start. All a person needs
here, as you pointed out, is the desire to want to know what they are in order to recognize them and be tolerant of them. Once that happens people can
get along better and get more accomplished either on a personal level or professional level. For example, anger is a trait. If someone gets angry easy
for no apparent reason and someone else starts dealing with them, if they don't know about the other persons trait they will take it prersonally and
stop dealing with them. If they understand that that is simply the way the other person is however they will be better equipped to deal with them and
the other person will be appreciative of the fact that they're understanding of that particular trait. Therefore, they'll get along.
This is a trait that a lot of people share on "the surface". Meaning that there doesn't have to be a lot of underlying reasons for that trait to
surface. This is why understanding and accepting something like this is a good place to start. Fear on the other hand can be a different story because
there most likely are quite a few underlying reasons why a person is fearful and that can have more long lasting social ramifications than anger.
For example, a baby boy is born to a caring mother and a violent alcoholic father. The baby is only days old when the father goes on one of his many
rampages that lasts for months, and the mother physically holds the baby to her as the father hits, yells, and otherwise intimidates the mother. Since
the mother is afraid and the baby is next to her, that emotion gets transferred to the baby. We all know that newborns are sponges. They're a blank
piece of paper that during the first few months of their lives the parents write on as far as emotions go. Therefore, fear is the first feeling this
baby experiences and it goes on for 6 months. This is the kind of trait that is going to be long lasting in the baby as it grows through infancy,
adolecence and beyond. This is what I refer to as a base trait because fear is such a powerful emotion, one that can do more damage to a person than
anger, and it's the first one that this child experienced. It shaped the way he grew.
Now, fast forward 10 years. A baby girl is born. The circumstances surrounding her infancy and/or childhood may be different, but the outcome is the
same. Fear is the first emotion she feels and she carries that for years on end. Both the boy and girl were held back socially because of their mutual
fear of people because of circumstances beyond their control. Why have these two people carried this fear of other people with them for so long?
Possibly because they never fully understood it, or possibly because at some point they did come to understand why but became comfortable in that role
and made a concious decision to stay in that shell that fear made.
Now, fast forward 20 years. Both people are now adults. They have led totally different lives and are able to read other peoples' surface traits.
She has made a proffesional success out of her life while he hasn't. By chance they meet. The man is initially drawn to the woman but has no idea
why. He also see's that the woman is drawn to him but, again, has no idea why. One of those "What could she
possibly see in me
feelings. Now, under normal circumstance the man would approach the woman and start talking to her. And he did. Start to "feel her out" so to speak.
But as fate would have it ( the little prick
) they didn't
meet under normal circumstances and have to get to know each other through more
unconventional means. But eventually they do. It first starts out as the man simply wanting to know what the woman is all about ( He doesn't like NOT
knowing things. It annoys him. One of his surface traits) but slowly starts a snowball effect where he realizes that they share a base trait that
heavily affected their entire lives............