The Story of My Faith - The Early Years

Somebody asked me to start a thread to debate the existence of God and I decided I'd rather just tell you my story instead.

I am not going to defend any attacks on my beliefs. They are what they are, mine and not yours. I'm just putting it out here because I though someone might want to hear it. It is drops like a bomb, I know I'm wasting my time.


I was born and raised in the Catholic family. One of my earliest memories was playing under the bushes along the side of my front yard where buttercups and violets grew. I "borrowed" my Mom's matches and pretended they were statues of Jesus, Mary and Joseph and placed them behind the tiny flowers making little shrines.

As I look back I realize I did not take my faith very seriously. I can remember trying to make a joke in Confession as a child, saying "Oh, My God I am hardly sorry for my sins" instead of "I am heartily sorry" (the beginning of the Act of Contrition prayer). Yikes! The priest did not think that was one bit funny. Not much more needs to be said there.

Did I question what I was taught? enough. I still wonder how anybody knew Jesus said,: "Father take this cup from me, if it be your will.." if He was alone in the Garden of Olives and Peter, James and John were snoozing and a couple other things that are really not so significant.

As for all the Old Testament stuff, I always felt God could do anything so why not? I was not an outstanding student at anything including my religion classes. I kind of suspected that the Bible, which was written by man could have been altered as it was passed on for generations orally, so I will acknowledge that I have alot more flexibility than some do when it comes to various things in Bible really happening or not. All in all, the things in question were really not significant enough for me to ever even question whether or not God existed. I believed. I never doubted it. That might be a genetic thing. As my dad would say I come by it honestly.

The older I got other things seemed to take greater importance in my life like Beatlemania, which I certainly had. And then of course, there were boys which I seemed to be paying attention to since Grade 1.

I had a wonderful Grandmother that had beautiful faith and was quite loving. She made a great role model. My other Grandmother died when I was a baby.

I have to say the one thing that really catapulted my faith happened when I was about 13. I wanted a dog really badly and my parents were blowing me off every time I asked about it so I decided to take it to God with a Novena.

A novena is a prayer or set of prayers one says for nine days in a row. They have a reputation for being powerful so I said my prayers for nine days, asking God for a dog. On the last day of my novena my dad brought home an airdale puppy.

I was blown away and wanted to see if it might happen twice, so I started another novena. There was nothing I really wanted so I asked for another dog. How original, I know.

I really wasn't trying to be greedy. It was just so cool to get such a quick response when I had waited so long for a dog. It was kind of like the feeling you get when you win a scratch-off lottery ticket the first time , you can't wait to try it again.

Asking for another dog was a big, long-shot as we never had two dogs at a time. On the last day of this novena my brother, Greg, brought home a collie pup. Now Greg had been a problem child and my parents thought the dog might help him so they let him keep it.

At that point my prayer life stepped up, but it was always about asking for something. It took me many years to learn that talking to God about any and everything was praying.

Unfortunately, I went through my teen years as many do, self-absorbed and insecure. I really put God on the back burner. How that changed is another story.

I was raised as a stringent Christian (half Souther Baptist and half Pentecostal). Thing was, I never really believed it all that much. I was always more of a polytheist, and I never bought that people of other religions were going to Hell. I never really bought the whole "one life, one death" thing, either. I guess what I'm saying is that I was raised a Christian, but my core beliefs were always more, well, pagan in nature.

There is an entire branch of my family that is steeped in a very non-Christian way of belief and life, and I gravitated towards that pretty early. My mother was more tolerant of it than my father, and she encouraged me to explore my sensitivities and seemingly inborn beliefs.

The internal conflict between the dogma I was raised with and my own natural instincts was hard, but it was a journey that was worthwhile and is still ongoing.

With everything I've seen in my life, I'm an unapologetic theist, but that's usually about as far as I go in describing my beliefs. The truth is that my beliefs aren't based on a book or logic but my own experiences and heart, and that's really hard for some people to accept.

reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck

Thanks for sharing. Everyone's life is a journey. What my faith was 2 years ago is very different than where I am now.
God knows where my head will be in another two years. Hopefully, we will be moving in a positive direction.

reply to post by sad_eyed_lady


I've had a very similer upbringing and a certain common sense. I had used the novena prayer on my runaway animals several times, and the have always come back. But when my dog kept running away after every mirical of getting her back, she ran away once more. I kept trying to do the novena, but I couldn't bring myself to remember to do it everyday. This was God's way of telling me that he is in control, and that just because I have the power, doesn't mean I know what is best. That we should understand the Father's will, before our own.