posted on Jan, 28 2012 @ 04:07 AM
You asked for thoughts, suggestions & different perspectives. I don't tend to get personal online, but I'll get naked here with you, in the hopes
that it may help.
And I'll just state upfront to any nasties who want to pick a fight: start your own thread & challenge me there. This is not the place & I won't
answer to it here.
Moving on ..
I'm so sorry for your loss, but even more Thankful for your Blessings. I know you can't be happy about it yet, but I am so happy for you. You had
her Bob. You had her in your life then, you still do & that won't ever change. And you were exactly where you wanted to be when she died, you
just don't see it yet. You were Blessed with a moment that everyone wants & so few receive, & when the rationalizing is over, you will see it.
You will know it. But not yet.
These aren't platitudes, or God-eblygook. I know from whence I speak.
I've died more than once. People argue all the time about the existence of God & what happens "when". In this forum, I'll just say that I've
never met anyone who has died & come back, who does not know that there is something beyond here. Your faith may be shaken, but it is your
best Friend. Don't lose it. One day you'll meet it again face to face & maybe embrace it, instead of doubting it. Know this.
Lesson two ..
The hospital called & said my mother was released & ready to be picked up. We hung up the phone, I jumped in the shower - & I heard her call my name.
Loud & clear as if she were standing next to me. I ran to the phone soaking wet, called the hospital & screamed to go find her. She was dead (for the
If you heard your daughter call for you, then she did. So what if they didn't hear her. She wasn't talking to them & it was none of their business.
She called you & you heard her. And in that moment, I assure you, just as you knew she called to you, she knew you heard her. And
that is exactly where you wanted to be, with her.
You know what others would give for that moment? How many agonize that they weren't there? You feel guilty that you weren't physically beside her,
yet you were with her. Which is more important? You believe that God gave his only begotten Son that we might be forgiven, yet you question
that He might grant a moment of redemption & comfort with your daughter? Silly man. One day you will allow yourself to let go & remember those moments
again, to feel them - & you will realize the Gift you were given. You'll know it. And in that moment, your perspective will change forever. Trust
And why do I say this? In part, because I've died. In part because my mother died (over & over). But most of all, because she was in a coma for two
years, brain dead they said. Then she woke up. Just like that. & she remembered dying. She remembered calling me. She remembered me holding her hand,
just as I remembered. Only, I wasn't physically there. So what. If you heard your baby call, she called & she knows you were with her. Bob you were
given what you wanted, but you're rationalizing instead of having Faith & digesting that love. Keep it, remember it, Don't let anyone try to take
that away from you - ever.
And on the other end of the spectrum .. my sister went to the dr for headaches, had emergency brain surgery, & came out a quadriplegic who can barely
speak. She is one of the most Faithful people I know. Somehow, every day she finds something to be thankful for (I don't know how she does it) - but
at the same time Bob, she didn't want this. She accepts God's Plan, but she wishes she had gone home that day. Your baby had medical problems in her
past, and in her future. All I can say is that God takes our pain when he knows it's time. Your little girl doesn't have to go through the
difficulties that would have lain ahead. Be thankful for that. He took her home.
Last thoughts ..
Feel free to PM me if you're so inclined. Or maybe a Vegas vacation is in order; if so I know a fellow ATSer with plenty of spare bedrooms ;-)
And finally, when you feel the urge to clock someone .. take a moment .. inhale .. close your eyes .. remember the Blessings .. feel them .. exhale ..
then clock them anyway .. it'll feel infinitely more rewarding ;-)