A Parent's Worst Nightmare Come True: The Death Of My Daughter

reply to post by OldCorp

I lost my daughter on Monday. She was only 24 years old, and she was the light of my life. Since I found out she was gone, I've been in Hell. I've alternated between blood-curdling screams, uncontrollable sobbing, and states of sheer numbness. I haven't lost a close family member since my father died when I was 13. I wasn't expecting grief to be a tangible thing, something you feel deep in your chest threatening to tear outyour soul. It's almost too much to bear.

Dear Sir, OldCorp, Bob,

Your description above is beautifully written. It is like enormous waves, emotional-tsunamis that come unbidden and can not be ignored. We can only ride them out. Trembling, shouting, uncontrollable and overwhelming agony.

I have not lost either of my children (my daughter is about Ashley's age), nor have I been forbidden access to either of them ever; those two circumstances I have no way of actually relating to, but I absolutely grieve for you, with my whole heart.

My father died about a year and a half ago; I had never experienced such extraordinary pain, and I can only imagine the horror being worse if it were either of my children.

I feel completely at a loss to say anything of comfort to you, but nevertheless wanted you to know I am praying for you, that I believe it was she who said "Dad" on the phoneline, and that the waves get smaller over time.

Try to spend some time outdoors, alone, and pay attention to nature, to the glory of the Earth that we all will leave on day. I did much of that after Daddy passed, and with silent tears streaming freely, I felt his arms, one day, wrap round me. She loves you still, Bob (forgive my familiarity); she is there with you, always, and you will once again be reunited with her.

I'm so sorry for your pain. I believe if I am ever forced to endure the same, it will be the end of my sanity. All brightest blessings to you, brother, may the grace of the Divine oneness give you strength. Allow it to wash through you, the pain, and the love, and the memories. We are all One.

Peace

My sincere condolences to you Bob and to your family.

I'm so glad you and your lovely daughter managed to find each other after all those years and had that very special time together. This truely was a very beautiful gift in itself - father and daughter finally coming together, and there was purpose in it. It was the will of God that He brings her to her earth father knowing what little time she had before God sends her on her next mission where she will continue to touch the lives of those who love her like the angel she is and will forever always be.

Keep in mind, her final years were spent with the two men who loved her the most, there was a reason for it. Over the coming days or weeks you'll fully understand why and the issues with the mother of your daughter won't seem so important. Here's the hint.....you were not meant to see the vessel of your daughter but to remember her as she was - alive with a smile on her face. Hold that thought!!!

I wish I could say more but I'm in shock that this all has happened to one of my nearest and dearest mates on ATS.

reply to post by OldCorp
Hello OldCorp, this is the saddest thing i've heard of today I too will be praying for your sorrow, your daughter is fine and will always be with you and can see and hear everything you do, so keep chatting to her.

On another subject Ghost375 has already had a post off topic removed, should be banned from ats the troll, ignore them they are idiots, bad karma is due to Ghost375

reply to post by OldCorp


my condolences.

going by what limited info has been presented
i'd say the only conspiracy is one of bitchyness
there may be some ass covering going on as well

you go do whatever you need to do where those matters are concerned,
or you won't be able to achieve effective closure.

this is a time for you to step back/retrench/go back to the mountain,
to either seek or reaffirm your purpose/direction.

to "take your broken wings, and learn to fly again".

and consider this:
who did your daughter call when she needed a place to stay?
who did her spirit call to at the end?

it wasn't the time you had, but how you spent it.

don't sweat the small stuff, TTIV can survive missing a few episodes

reply to post by OldCorp


Mr. Powell,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story has brought me to tears. I don't have any words to say that could possibly take away the pain you're going through right now. But, know this: Your daughter knows that you love her, you fought for her, to be part of her life, you were there for her when she needed you and now you're fighting to be with her, still.

I just want to add my condolences to those of all the members who have replied here and offer you a shoulder to cry on and my support.

My thoughts are with you and your beautiful daughter.

*Hugs*

reply to post by OldCorp


Hi Bob, I'm a new member here since just a couple of minutes ago and hearing your story really struck me in a way I abzolutely no questions asked just created an account to reply to you and try to help you find solace in the hard time you are dealing with.
I've dealt with depression for about 11 years now and in searching ways to help me bare the pain ( or rather self search to find the cause ) and through out my journey of soul searching I underwent Hypnotherapie with my stepmother who really helped me through a tough moment and so did my Grand Father ( who died when I was 10 I am now 25 ). I was on verge of suicide when my grand father appeared to me and just gave me love and I felt that warmth and it struck me to the ground as I walked towards the nearest bridge.

Following that I met with my stepmother to undergo hypnotherapy and dig inside my soul to find the source of the hurt ( here's where my post leads to ), while soul searching my Grand Father appeared to me again and REALLY let me know he was looking over me, my guardian angel.

With my experience, I can tell you with all the conviction of my heart, Bob, that your daughter is looking over you as we speak, feeling you and your distress and she wants to comfort you and let you know she's there for you right now, everyday!
Try meditation and/or other mediums to try and get in contact with your daughter, shred every last bit of your ego and outside persona to really get to your inner self.
Go somewhere quiet where you feel most at ease and sit/lay down which ever you prefer and concentrate, focus on love, focus on yourself and focus on quiescence to get to a vulnerable state of open minded soul connection and do it everytime you have 1h30/2h period of free time ahead to not rush anything.
Your daughter is already trying to connect with you it is certain! Love is the purest form of communication as it needs no words, it simply is. Concentrate on Love and know that you too will ascend one day as we all will this great big family that is humanity and she will be there waiting ( as corny as it sounds just know I speak these words from the heart with Love )

Take care Bob my brother

reply to post by OldCorp


I have seen you on here a lot. You used to show your face as a close up. I can see by your pic change that your mood is dark, as it would have no choice to be anything other than that. I can honstely tell you that nothing will help you get over this. Time will ease it but you are going to always feel it. I hope all the kind words from our fellow ATSrs can help ease your suffering a little. I am sobbing as I write this because even the thought of someone losing a child, after having my own, is a heavy load to carry. I have always enjoyed your posts and outlooks on things. I hope you can get through this.
I have a five year old daughter and a three year old son. Just the mere thought of what you are going through saddened me to tears and I am not a cryer. Me and my whole family are going to have a prayer circle for you tonight and mention you by your moniker.
I hope that my notion of praying for you is not offensive to you. I know prayer can work. I had a post awhile back about my dad. He had stomach cancer with no chance to live. We prayed, when I say we, I mean my mom's whole church and our immediate family. He went back a month ago to see why the chemo was starting to be so hard on him compared to previous treatments. The doc came in and said he was baffled by the fact that he could find zero cancer in my dad and stopped all chemo immediately. My darkness and multiple nights of tears turned into tears of indiscribable joy. Prayer worked for us, is the reason I offer it to you.

I am sure you know this, but I will say it anyway. I have lost a lot of people and known more then my share of pain. Time, that is the only easing factor, time will relieve the strength and quantity of the pain and nothing else will.

Also I found that letting go and really get into the grief, don't worry about how it looks or being strong right now, just let yourself feel and grieve. Your wounds close faster if you let them bleed a bit freely I have found.
Hug

Dear brother, I am crying with you now. My daughter is 9 years old and was a flat-liner when she was 3. I just wish I can be there to hug you.

reply to post by OldCorp


I cant even begin to imagine the pain your in. Know that there are people that truly care for you surround yourself with them. I know the pain of losing both parents and that is heartwrenching. A child I believe is so much more. My deepest sympathy and prayers go out to you. Live on and know that your little girl is comforting you as we speak!!

Hey man sorry about that, I could not bear to imagine something like that. I know you have your family to comfort, but you also have your ATS family here as well. I extend you my sympathies

Very sorry for your loss. Allow time for grief and know the stages are different to each person.

With sympathies and Blessings.

I feel terrible for your loss, Mr. Powell. I truly have no idea what I would do if I lost my little boy. No parent deserves to deal with something like this in their lives. My heart aches for your situation. Stay strong, Bob.

reply to post by OldCorp

My condolences OldCorp, and may you find some strength for yourself, your friends and family. I can't imagine what you are going through, but thanks for making us aware, and enabling us to send some love. I hope some peace makes it's way to your heart eventually.

spec

I am so sorry for your loss. Just know that there are friends here that are all pulling for you, and sending you love, hugs, and condolences, and are behind you if you need a friendly ear.

Please take care, and never forget , that you are not alone.

Sincerely, NRE.

i'm sincerely so sorry for your loss OldCorp.

So very sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

I know someone who lost her young son to cancer and she finds it therapeutic to write to him .....

I am deeply sorry for your loss.

I am married but I have no kids
I'm 27.

But If I were a father who had lost their child
I do not know If I could mentally take it...
You are a strong man, you have received such a tragedy!
But you will go on,
Your daughters legacy will live on with you.




I know we can never fill the void of your loss...
But
Your ATS family is ALWAYS here for you!

My/Our ears and eyes will always welcome anything you wish to talk to us about!

We Love You Old Corp (Bobby)

I Love you Brother and I am sending many prayers and positive vibes your way!

-Eric Jude

Very sorry for your loss, old boy. My heart goes out to you and your family.

We're here for you bro. Wish I could offer words, but nothing I could ever say could quelch any of what you feel. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Dear OP,
As I read your story I felt the sting of tears in my eyes for your loss and suffering. I refused to let them fall because I would rather send you strength and love at this time, a time of great loss, but there is some joy in your story. After what I am sure felt like an eternity, you found and got to know the daughter you love so very much. Be thankful that you 2 had a chance to meet, bond and exchange your love, hopes and dreams. I lost my mom (who was in many ways was my best friend) and it still hurts til this day. I never got a chance to say goodbye because I was stationed in Germany and could not get back on time. That hurts too. What works for me is very simple, albiet weird. Sometimes at night, which seems to be the only peaceful part of my day, I speak to her. I tell her everything. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry but I feel better because I KNOW she is listening. And I know she would not want me to dwell on the unhappiness I feel, I'm sure your daughter feels the same. If at any point you find yourself feeling regrets or sorrow, just picture her smiling face, like in the picture, and just speak to her. Tell her you miss her, tell her you love her, tell her you will continue to live and celebrate her life, tell her you will continue to be strong even though it seems too much to bear. I hope this helps at least a little. I have a reputation for being a hard ass but even hard asses have a soft side. My thoughts, love and strength are with you. Keep your head up.