Yesterday after leaving the bank a feeling of great disappointment and frustration came over me, a mortgage application for a house in another city had been declined.

Failure to declare my income as an independent worker and from my income properties had much to do with their decision. My girlfriend kept her job working minimal hours while collecting Employment Insurance after the birth of our first child but that also wasn’t enough to provide adequate income security, even if she had been working there for years and had started full time again. I guess that’s what two bachelor degrees will get you these days, absolutely nothing.

Still, the feeling of discontent was short-lived after getting home and considering what I already had: Properties, a nice home, a duplex, two camps, a red dodge stratus and a red Ford Mustang equipped with a 1000 watt top of the line Alpine system, infinity subs and Kenmore speakers. Inside the house there is a gigantic 55” 3d TV, new generation game consoles with hundreds of games, new furniture, a new massive stainless fridge, new high-tech stainless convection oven, a newly renovated 4x7 tiled ceramic shower with jets all over, newly renovated basement and even a speaker system which spans the entire house. As for my working equipment I own over 25k worth of musical gear which includes seven guitars, a drum set and a PA system, I also own over 15k worth of camera equipment.

So why did I feel such dissatisfaction?

There was a time when I was grateful for living in a cheap apartment with a fridge full of food and anything beyond that was considered “overindulgence”. Living below my means was forged within my identity, as an artist it was the type of lifestyle that made absolute sense, that is, if I made a decent amount of money but spent very little then I was rich. That used to make a lot of sense until the birth of my child but why? Of course I want to provide the best for him but I was raised in poverty, my mother was disabled, she collected a welfare check every month and all my clothes were bought at the thrift shop. Despite all that, I’ve never considered myself ‘unfortunate’ but rather quite the opposite; I had the luxury of knowing the true value of friendship, love, life, work and money.

Now I’m left pondering why I felt a need for excess? Why I felt such disappointment when my life is filled with true riches, a wonderful and beautiful girlfriend and my son, my greatest accomplishment of which I am so proud of. It’s the first time that I feel that the system had the upper hand, as if I had slipped into their game and today I am thankful that the loan application was rejected, it reminded me of what I have.

...everything else is excess.

Dear OP,

Simply put, you had found 'enlightenment'. Congratulations.

Even though you felt disappointment that your loan application had been rejected and thus the rejection by the system that you grew up with, you still do KNOW where your responsibilities and love lays in, thus your enlightenment.

Some presumed that in order to achieve enlightenment, one must do so in the manner that Buddha had done - came from princehood, went into self imposed suffering for years, meditating under the bodhi tree, etc. That is utter BS.

True enlightenment is only when the scales of your desires fall downs from your eye, and finally see reality as it is, and yet can keep and sustain your sanity, by love, the most powerful force and energy in the universe, which is in your case your love for your family and son, which are truly the most important aspect in your life.

Buddha did what he did because he loved mankind, just as the Messiah and the prophet Muhammad had.

Enlightenment is only simple and within every human's grasp. The only cost is to deny ignorance, and reject delusions no matter how comforting it may be, and confront realities courageously empowered with love, to find solutions. It is NEVER as difficult as those whom professed to be masters made it out to be.

Does acheiving enlightenment makes us superiour?

No. It only frees us, just as truth will free us, to continue on with the complexities of life, but with a better confidence to always seek for truths and not allow delusions to blind us, and to spread such truths to others.

Only then, can Nirvana be achieve. Heaven can never and must never be perceived based upon our mortal understanding, as our understanding is mere infantile, compared to the Universe of billions years of age. It is not a place where your physical mortal desires such as the laughable present of 72 virgins for eternity.

It is much, much more, beyond human desires and comprehension. It is powered by love, the kind of love that you had shown for your family and kid.

Good lluck and cheers!:-)

Are we ever true satisfied? Today I was saying I wanted something but didn't need it. My young son said to think about it and after many months, if I still wanted it, I should put it on my Christmas list. Hopefully this attitude will stay with him throughout his life and he will never be an impulse or materialistic buyer.

One thing I do to keep myself grounded is I bring food to the food shelf during hours when people coming in to collect food. When you see the people there, young, old, some really sad people, it reminds me how blessed I truly am.

2nd