posted on Jan, 25 2012 @ 07:38 AM
Yesterday after leaving the bank a feeling of great disappointment and frustration came over me, a mortgage application for a house in another city
had been declined.
Failure to declare my income as an independent worker and from my income properties had much to do with their decision. My girlfriend kept her job
working minimal hours while collecting Employment Insurance after the birth of our first child but that also wasn’t enough to provide adequate
income security, even if she had been working there for years and had started full time again. I guess that’s what two bachelor degrees will get
you these days, absolutely nothing.
Still, the feeling of discontent was short-lived after getting home and considering what I already had: Properties, a nice home, a duplex, two camps,
a red dodge stratus and a red Ford Mustang equipped with a 1000 watt top of the line Alpine system, infinity subs and Kenmore speakers. Inside the
house there is a gigantic 55” 3d TV, new generation game consoles with hundreds of games, new furniture, a new massive stainless fridge, new
high-tech stainless convection oven, a newly renovated 4x7 tiled ceramic shower with jets all over, newly renovated basement and even a speaker system
which spans the entire house. As for my working equipment I own over 25k worth of musical gear which includes seven guitars, a drum set and a PA
system, I also own over 15k worth of camera equipment.
So why did I feel such dissatisfaction?
There was a time when I was grateful for living in a cheap apartment with a fridge full of food and anything beyond that was considered
“overindulgence”. Living below my means was forged within my identity, as an artist it was the type of lifestyle that made absolute sense, that
is, if I made a decent amount of money but spent very little then I was rich. That used to make a lot of sense until the birth of my child but why?
Of course I want to provide the best for him but I was raised in poverty, my mother was disabled, she collected a welfare check every month and all my
clothes were bought at the thrift shop. Despite all that, I’ve never considered myself ‘unfortunate’ but rather quite the opposite; I had the
luxury of knowing the true value of friendship, love, life, work and money.
Now I’m left pondering why I felt a need for excess? Why I felt such disappointment when my life is filled with true riches, a wonderful and
beautiful girlfriend and my son, my greatest accomplishment of which I am so proud of. It’s the first time that I feel that the system had the
upper hand, as if I had slipped into their game and today I am thankful that the loan application was rejected, it reminded me of what I have.
...everything else is excess.