This thread indeed contains very much great advice, and much great wisdom. These past few days, I've discovered who I really am. While I can't
maintain that connection consistently just yet, I feel it very strongly for what seems like a nice fraction of each day.
I lose that connection when others come around, I once read that it's most difficult for most to keep in the presence of others.
It seems I was brought that low to call out for help, and help is exactly what I got. I cried out to you guys, and through you I was led to.. well,
me, us - what and who we all really are. I don't want to preach, I don't want to brag, that's not the purpose of this post. I just honestly want to
share my experience with the people who may be having, or will be having a similar experience. I know this might seem absolutely insane, I know.. but
whether or not you believe what I feel is ultimately your choice.
As for the whole relationship issue, my worry has disappeared. I now feel nothing but love for her, regardless of the situation that we're in. I
realize that she's still in my life, and I'm beyond grateful for that - words cannot even express it. I see it from a higher understanding, and that
I'm grateful for as I feel it has saved our relationship, even if we are never romantically or intimately involved, the pain has almost completely
disappeared and I'm able to be appreciative that she is in my life. The feeling of oneness that I feel (specifically with her) sometimes reaches a
level beyond what I've thought possible. I could provide examples, but I have no desire to prove anything, and no reason to. I don't know if she'll be
here forever, if we'll be separated, or what but I do know that I trust what is going on and have no worries or fears anymore about the state of our
Through this darkness, I've found "myself", I've regained quite a lot of power (bare with me, I know it may not make sense, but I don't know how else
to verbalize it) and it feels extraordinary. It's almost magic, but I've realized that nothing is quite "magic".
I believe that I understand why they recommend meditation. Meditation gives you an opportunity to put your free will on hold so that you're open to
your higher self, and I now understand what "higher self" means, and why it is called "higher self", I'm not sure I can quite explain it, but I just
understand. It truly is impossible to explain certain things. If you don't allow something to come through, then it won't. This gives me chills
thinking about how easy (yet how difficult) it truly is to access.
I feel a love beyond comprehension. I have a higher understanding of my situation, and I feel as though I'm at least 60% open to the divine self
within me. It's absolutely beautiful. I know it seems like nothing positive could come this soon after I posted a thread about being in absolute
despair, but it was the start of that post that allowed me to receive the big finale. I do want to say that the Illuminati insider document with
Hidden_Hand had helped me obtain a higher understanding. It came at exactly the right time, as any sooner and I'd have written that document off
because of my lack of understanding, my limiting beliefs, and my skepticism. I'm thankful that the information had been sent my way, and I also of the
synchronicities as I read the document over the span of a day that had manifested into my physical awareness and correlated with the document in a way
which made sense to me.
I have an entirely new understanding of the universe, and of myself and the life that I've been given and created for myself. I want to thank you all,
and though I'm not going to go around preaching of the creator and raving about him/her at all times, and verbalize my appreciate after every meal and
paragraph, I want to take this opportunity as I feel it's appropriate, to thank the creator for providing me with what I've been searching so
desperately for over these past years.
Thank you all so much. You've all been absolutely loving, and have truly impacted my life in an amazing way.
edit on 25-1-2012 by
OhNoItsCritical because: (no reason given)