Originally posted by Frankidealist35
I don't get it. I only understand the monetary value of this aspect of a relationship. If I were in a relationship right now (which I am not, but
if I were I would act accordingly to the persons needs and wants
And that pretty much set the tone for the entire post in my opinion. Those two sentences contradicted each other. You seem to be on the fence as to
which is more important in a relationship; money or feelings. Something like that is played on a case by case basis I think.
You've heard of gold diggers right? It goes both ways. Both men and women do it. One person wants a relationship because the other has a lot of
money. Or at least appears to. While money is important, you can't pay your bills with love, it's not a deal breaker either. There were times in my
life when I had absolutley nothing monetarily and times when I had more than the average person. Certainly a lot more than other people in my circle
at the time. Through it all I learned that I'd rather have a relationship based on feelings than money. Money isn't a part of you. It doesn't
define you. It's the end result of what you do for a living. That's it. Feelings on the other hand play a large part in making you the kind of
person you are. The person that attracts, or repulses for that matter, other people. This is the part of you that you can't really change, so it
would be in your best interest to take them more seriously than money. Which of course you can change.
And then you have the clingers. Or nesters. They only want to be with someone for the sake of it. These people, IMO, don't have a clue what real
emotions are. It doesn't make them bad people and it doesn't mean they'll never find someone else to be with because there seems to be more of
those types of people in the world these days than people who want a deep, meaningful relationship. These people are very pragmatic and I don't think
people like me will ever fully understand them. Having matured as much as I have though I'm not going to criticize what I don't understand. However,
I've never been the type of person who was willing to be in a relationship simply for the sake of it. One night stands are a different story though
because both of you have an understanding going into it; You're both using each other as a means of physical release, and then you go your seperate
That's not having a relationship. That's having fun.
That being said, you have to know the type of person you are if you're ever going to be with someone you can have a relationship with. Or even just
have fun with for that matter. Finding someone like you really isn't an issue in my opinion. There's an old saying " Birds of a feather flock
together." It's an old saying for a reason. It's true. It's been my experience that you don't have to go out looking for someone who has the same
feelings you do because nature has a way of attracting you to people who share the same one's. You both may have different reasons for those same
feelings, but that shouldn't be an issue that stands in your way. Societies rules however CAN get in the way sometimes, and if that's the case,
it's going to have to be up to you as to whether you want those rules to stand in the way of what you really need in life.
People WANT money. It gives them a feeling of security.
People NEED a relationship with someone else because that too gives them security.
If you're on the fence you have to ask yourself which is more important to you RIGHT NOW. This isn't to say that you can't have both a relationship
AND money. You certainly can. But if something or someone is standing in your way of having a relationship that you feel has some "meat on the bone"
so to speak, more than what money has, you have to find a way to either get around the problem or do away with it altogether. Something tells me that
you're ready for a change. Something tells me you'll find a way.
The gypsy in me is going to put it this way: If you've traveled down the same old road to get to where you want to go but you just can't seem to get
there because of one obstacle or another, try a different road. And if someone else wants to show you a different road, one where there's no
obstacles, you might want to look into it. Just don't assume that they're showing you that road so it will lead to them. It might or might not.
Maybe they just want to be a friend who wants to help you out. Maybe they're looking for more. You're never going to know until you take that leap
of faith. And again, something tells me that you're ready to take it.