Daughter has a New Laptop with Webcam.....Help!!!!

Originally posted by pointr97
reply to post by BanMonsanto

 

did i say anything about limiting....nope, don't think so....I also was pretty clear about discrete...meaning, I want her to be herself, but would like to catch a problem sign before it becomes a problem. If that needs explained further, you have no experience being a dad to a teenage girl....I am almost 40, and if my boss feels it is warranted to monitor my activity discretely......then monitoring a mentally immature girl with free access to the internet with webcam and no real idea of the ramifications of a bad decision is kinda a mute point, don't you agree?

(edited out, read it wrong, something about 19 year olds... but the rest stands tbh)

Make sure she can check your logs too, because you're a good father and have nothing to hide - no not even asking on the entire internet about how to best spy on your daughter.

Or .. nah, when my father would not let me alone, it distanced us massively. You may regret your intent one day..

Originally posted by type0civ
reply to post by pointr97

 

I read all your posts again and I'm certain your the moms boyfriend..not the child's dad. How can you not care if she views porn? What are you trying to do then? You don't knowthe story behind her Skype incident.

Start talking pal

I am her father, and like my mother ignoring my playboys under my matress.....it wouldn't bug me for her to do it either, why would it bother you?.....that is normal development......Really people, are you all that blind to how quickly a kid can do something on the net and it isn't just spread through the school but the nation?....Are you all so interested in the concept of a dad wanting to spy vs his wanting to make sure the kid isn't doing something stupid that will follow her.....WOW....you are the ones that need help.;

Originally posted by mainidh

Originally posted by pointr97
reply to post by BanMonsanto

 

did i say anything about limiting....nope, don't think so....I also was pretty clear about discrete...meaning, I want her to be herself, but would like to catch a problem sign before it becomes a problem. If that needs explained further, you have no experience being a dad to a teenage girl....I am almost 40, and if my boss feels it is warranted to monitor my activity discretely......then monitoring a mentally immature girl with free access to the internet with webcam and no real idea of the ramifications of a bad decision is kinda a mute point, don't you agree?

(edited out, read it wrong, something about 19 year olds... but the rest stands tbh)

Make sure she can check your logs too, because you're a good father and have nothing to hide - no not even asking on the entire internet about how to best spy on your daughter.

Or .. nah, when my father would not let me alone, it distanced us massively. You may regret your intent one day..

edit on 17-1-2012 by mainidh because: (no reason given)

I agree with you.....and before she got the laptop, she used my computer at her will.....then though, I could at least get a sense of what she was doing and where she was going.....and all was cool.....She is more than allowed to sift through my system, and does a lot.....again, that was when it was her in a common area....

Two years ago, we got a call from an irrate parent that told us their son got a disturbing picture of OUR daughter on his phone....We thought we handled it, but I would feel real stupid if it happened again.....sorry if that concern is missing everyone.

no offence but, don't you think your daughter deserves her own privacy on her own computer?
you may be frightened she will find some random paedophile, and sure, that is a risk, but at the same time, it could just as easily happen outside of the internet.

you should let your daughter make her own mistakes, that is what life is about.
also, how are you going to bring it up with her if you found something that you disapproved of?

this is also coming from a parent to a parent.

this idea is just shady.

Originally posted by pointr97

Originally posted by type0civ

Originally posted by pointr97
reply to post by BanMonsanto

 

did i say anything about limiting....nope, don't think so....I also was pretty clear about discrete...meaning, I want her to be herself, but would like to catch a problem sign before it becomes a problem. If that needs explained further, you have no experience being a dad to a teenage girl....I am almost 40, and if my boss feels it is warranted to monitor my activity discretely......then monitoring a mentally immature girl with free access to the internet with webcam and no real idea of the ramifications of a bad decision is kinda a mute point, don't you agree?

????? Somethings wrong here...you may as well be peeking in her window. Turning on the webcam is not protecting her..limiting access is and laying out rules. You need help.

what are you talking about? I said view her desktop not her cam....She is the one with the webcam unrestricted.

edit-you are so off base and trying to turn this into an entirely different topic.....remote viewing a desktop is looking at what is on another screen, nothing more, ie facebook open or internet explorer with ATS on it....I have zero clue what you are referring to, nor do I want to

edit on 17-1-2012 by pointr97 because: (no reason given)

There is a reason pools are enclosed you know, so that kids dont fall in and drown. But what you are suggesting is remove the fence and just let her go, then catch her and .. who knows.

Grow up man, tell her the PC is only to be used in a public space, if you're so sure she's going to do something terrible.

Wow, and I thought having a father who followed me around and spoke to my mates as a teenager, was bad enough.. now we're spying on them...

reply to post by pointr97


Maybe you can do a remote deskop connection? This would allow you to see the same thing she is seeing on her desktop at any time....though I'm not sure if its possiable to make the connection invisiable or not.

if your concerned or just want to be assured your kids not doing anything harmfull on the internet
like a poster has said previous use a keylogger
that will record every keystroke/take frequent snapshots and basically log everything happening on that machine

if your worried about the child viewing more mature material online than her age permits there are numerous ways to make sure that content is not visible

but you must also bear in mind 1 vital thing when it comes to children and the ways of the internet

they are a lot smarter than you may think at circumventing restrictive measures

end of the day regardless what anybody on here or anywhere else says your her guardian so you do as you see fit regardless of who may object or agree with it

good luck as i know how teenage kids can be lol

i give up.....

you people want her to have privacy......fine

you people want her to have her freedom....fine

you people want me to trust her....fine

you people say that if I take the fence down and give her that freedom....my fault if she does something stupid....

you people say limit her access......but that in her mind would not be freedom....

you people say looking over her shoulder is somehow creepy and that I must be the perverted boyfriend....wow, by the way....

But you know what....when I was a kid before computers were everywhere, Mom still stuck her head in randomly to see what we were doing and what we were watching......Just to Check.

Originally posted by pointr97

Two years ago, we got a call from an irrate parent that told us their son got a disturbing picture of OUR daughter on his phone....We thought we handled it, but I would feel real stupid if it happened again.....sorry if that concern is missing everyone.

edit on 17-1-2012 by pointr97 because: (no reason given)

I fully understand that concern, but invisible shackles are not the answer and make things worse. What did she learn from that previous scenario? Does she have a mobile phone? Pretty much all mobiles sold today have cameras on them... and access to facebook, twitter etc. A laptop is not going to be a lot different.

You'll give yourself an ulcer unless you - as a parent and not a spy - remedy it.

Lets say you go through her history and find she's sent another picture. That damage is already done. All you can do now is tell her HOW you discovered it.... I do not see that faring well.

There is still a difference between a child who is curious and learning, and one who continues to make the same mistakes - So I do get you..

Some mistakes have to be made before the lesson sinks in, I guess - on both parts.

Just warning you...with your current attitude toward her privacy, the teenage years are going to be ROUGH with her.

And to insult her entire generation saying that they have no social skills just goes to show that you really have no idea what you're talking about and are blind beyond belief

Originally posted by JJRichey
reply to post by pointr97

 

Maybe you can do a remote deskop connection? This would allow you to see the same thing she is seeing on her desktop at any time....though I'm not sure if its possiable to make the connection invisiable or not.

That was kinda what i was wondering about....just to pull it up, see everything looks normal and on to Castle....Or at midnight, 3 hours after her bedtime check to see if she is online.

Originally posted by Hawking
Just warning you...with your current attitude toward her privacy, the teenage years are going to be ROUGH with her.

And to insult her entire generation saying that they have no social skills just goes to show that you really have no idea what you're talking about and are blind beyond belief

you must be close to that generation for taking such insult to it......no they really don't have much in the way of social skills...maybe among their peers...but with adults.....nope.

Originally posted by pointr97

Originally posted by Hawking
Just warning you...with your current attitude toward her privacy, the teenage years are going to be ROUGH with her.

And to insult her entire generation saying that they have no social skills just goes to show that you really have no idea what you're talking about and are blind beyond belief

you must be close to that generation for taking such insult to it......no they really don't have much in the way of social skills...maybe among their peers...but with adults.....nope.

I'm 11 years older than her...and why would she want to socialize with someone who is on an internet forum looking for ways to spy on her?

BTW someone else already said it - if she has a cell phone and is going to make bad personal decisions, it's too late, laptop's no different

Originally posted by mainidh

Originally posted by pointr97

Two years ago, we got a call from an irrate parent that told us their son got a disturbing picture of OUR daughter on his phone....We thought we handled it, but I would feel real stupid if it happened again.....sorry if that concern is missing everyone.

edit on 17-1-2012 by pointr97 because: (no reason given)

I fully understand that concern, but invisible shackles are not the answer and make things worse. What did she learn from that previous scenario? Does she have a mobile phone? Pretty much all mobiles sold today have cameras on them... and access to facebook, twitter etc. A laptop is not going to be a lot different.

You'll give yourself an ulcer unless you - as a parent and not a spy - remedy it.

Lets say you go through her history and find she's sent another picture. That damage is already done. All you can do now is tell her HOW you discovered it.... I do not see that faring well.

There is still a difference between a child who is curious and learning, and one who continues to make the same mistakes - So I do get you..

Some mistakes have to be made before the lesson sinks in, I guess - on both parts.

she is under no illusion that we don't check on her....she honestly believes i look more than i do......honestly don't have the skill set to follow through......Please don't misinterpret our relationship....we have a good one, and she understands that I am a tad protective with her....She has more problem with me correcting her sweeping the floor than who she interacts with.....She isn't an idiot, just young and spontaneous......

Yes, if I found another picture had been sent, the sooner I know about it, the quicker damage control can be started.......We learned our lesson the last time, speed is of the essence, and other parents are sympathic. So yeah, I would rather know sooner than later before you know, it gets facebooked to EVERYONE....if it can be catched in the first iteration or two, possible quarantine.

Originally posted by Hawking

Originally posted by pointr97

Originally posted by Hawking
Just warning you...with your current attitude toward her privacy, the teenage years are going to be ROUGH with her.

And to insult her entire generation saying that they have no social skills just goes to show that you really have no idea what you're talking about and are blind beyond belief

you must be close to that generation for taking such insult to it......no they really don't have much in the way of social skills...maybe among their peers...but with adults.....nope.

I'm 11 years older than her...and why would she want to socialize with someone who is on an internet forum looking for ways to spy on her?

BTW someone else already said it - if she has a cell phone and is going to make bad personal decisions, it's too late, laptop's no different

edit on 17-1-2012 by Hawking because: (no reason given)

so you are 25, no kids or real responsibilities, I understand...been there myself, a long time ago. And at 25, I remember a few pictures that have come back to haunt me as well.....So if a mid 20 can do stupid things.....hmmm, but you would rather parents just throw their hands up and say, 'have at it'.....give them those car keys, and let them live or die on their own terms.......fair enough. Because hey, if they can get booze from a friends dad's liquor closet, why don't we just legalize it across the board..

You know, if they are going to get it anyway.....right?


.

you my friend are in for a rude awakening...teens are waaayyy more tech savy than the average 40 yr old man for example you came to a conspiracy website asking how to spy on you daughter

and even if you succeed in catching her doing something "wrong" she will still find ways to circumvent your authority so its as simple as this

Do you want your daughter to respect you??? if so then treat her like a young woman talk to her and respect her...if not be sneaky sneaky and get rickrolled by her in the process and make the next 4 years of her life extremely uncomfortable then by all means go ahead

she is your daughter after all.

do what you think is right i do not come on here and ask people for help to raise my son it is all trial and error

Another word of advice don't come on here asking for help and when people dont give you what you are looking for get all pissy with them.

you already have multiple post berating people that posted replies on a PUBLIC FORUM.

if your mind is already made walk away from the computer and do what you already have going thru your head all you are doing is getting yourself worked up over a problem you caused

Originally posted by B1ayneO
you my friend are in for a rude awakening...teens are waaayyy more tech savy than the average 40 yr old man for example you came to a conspiracy website asking how to spy on you daughter

and even if you succeed in catching her doing something "wrong" she will still find ways to circumvent your authority so its as simple as this

Do you want your daughter to respect you??? if so then treat her like a young woman talk to her and respect her...if not be sneaky sneaky and get rickrolled by her in the process and make the next 4 years of her life extremely uncomfortable then by all means go ahead

she is your daughter after all.

do what you think is right i do not come on here and ask people for help to raise my son it is all trial and error

actually, i didn't come here to ask you to raise my daughter.....nor is she blind that I have told her in those very specific words, 'i can see everything you do, so be smart about what you do.'.......I came here for advice to back up what I told her....I owned a security company for years, and she actually thought her backpack had a gps locator in it......for years, she thinks I am able to do more than I can, and I will not destroy that one....but.....some day she is going to catch on, and it would be nice to at least have something to back it up......Last week, a trainer comes in and says, no screwing around on the computers.....I'm watching......all of us blew it off, until the second day, he took control of my desktop and wrote me a note.....Do you see where I am going with this?

Would you believe, I didn't screw around on the computer during training any more......

With kids....Rule 1: Trust but Verify....

The only interest a parent should have in their childs webcam is how to disable it.
2 words
DUCT TAPE!
So when she becomes a big girl, she may do whatever she want with it.
But for now, there is no need for a child to have a webcam

Hey, I really was looking for software solutions......what you guys have tried or haven't.....I have raised this kid for 14 years, i have a pretty good idea what I am doing and how our relationship is going......I am not asking for an ethics debate on where the limit is with child privacy.....honestly, that is no one's call but the person involved.....if you have an insight on software....feel free to post, if not, I really don't care....I have a good kid, but that doesn't mean I am going to let her alone in a bedroom with a boy unattended.