I am dropping off the face of the earth - any advice is welcome

My friend, I have tears in my eyes typing this.

I will tell you what I did, I don't care what these dumbholes say on here, flame away.

you have to go through some places to get to other places,.

Pray to your creator,

do not call him by name because you don't know his name.

Work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

The creator wants a relationship with YOU, not a cookie cutter religious nut.

And definitely not someone who doesn't believe in him. (atheist)

You want to be there for real? For your daughters sake do this.

There are no rules except these

You MUST believe in him.

You must trust in him.

You must communicate with him. (hide in the closet if you must)

I have done this and no it isn't magic beans.

If the creator gave you everything at once, you would forget him.

By the same token, he will hold up his end and keep you safe.

A million years from now, the troubles of this life will seem like a bad dream.

Please my friend, please my brother, don't ever freaking give up. EVER

EVER.

Do not let the enemy win. Don't lose yourself because you don't know who you are.

I understand exactly what you are dealing with, even if my situation is different than yours.

I love you brother for being honest, it takes a real man to tell another your position, although there may be flames, they have not had your mishaps, or cards youve been dealt.

Keep on keep on..

My advice, surround your self with love, I mean it! Carry a picture(s) of your daughters with you at ALL TIMES..
If you have the winter gear, drive to ND to the city of Williston for oilfield work, no place to stay right now for sleep but a truck. But 40/60 hours a week bro! Garuanted work!!Where are you now..

Again bro, I almost married a girl that damn near killed me years ago, an it affects me everyday. But life goes on with or without you. I feel your pain and your not alone,

My prayers are with you, and I may see you down the road brother, all my love goes to you and all other men in this world with a big heart, determined, and does his best to be genuine to another..

NEVER GIVE UP FRIEND! I wish you the best and safe travels.

Much love

reply to post by AwakeinNM


Seriously man!!

Have Hope... life is a test... one that you can pass but you have to be strong.. not physically... but your heart must be strong to overcome!!

Damn i sound like a hippy...

Originally posted by IkNOwSTuff
Sounds tough dude, my sincere sympathies.

Ive never been stateside but from what I can gather on here and other sources it seems like it sucks major ass at the moment.

A couple questions for ya

1) are you really sure this is what ya wanna do?
2) how often do u plan on seeing ur kids?
3) how much money will you have access to?
4) what sort of education/work experience do you have?

My recommendation would be to head to South East Asia, Thailand, Phillipines or Malaysia (where I am).
Theres a few reasons for this
1) the economy over here is quite good and educated or skilled foreigners (especially if ur white) never have any issues finding good jobs. Everyone I know whos looked has found something within 2 weeks that pays over $2000 US a month which is great money over here
2) any money you have will get you about 5 times further than it would in the US as long as you dont live to extravagantly, to give you an example a healthy 3 course meal here would set you back less than $2 US.
You can get decent accommodation in the middle of Kuala Lumpur (capital of Malaysia) for less than $10 US a night.
3) You may not be thinking of it right now but you will have no shortage of hot female attention. Just be careful if ur in Thailand as most of the girls who go for foreigners are after 1 thing, It is in ur pants but unfortunately its ur wallet.
4) The weather over here is awesome, 28-32C all day everyday. Takes a bit of getting used to if ur from somewhere cold but once you acclimatize ul never look back.

So in conclusion, if you need a break for awhile and have no prospects over there except to be on the run from creditors SE Asia is definately the way forward.
I guess the only issue for you would be the kids but if ur responsible and looking to provide for them Im sure you would be able to find a job that paid well enough that you could live comfortably and still send money back.

If you have any questions let me know, Ill be happy to help anyway I can.

Best of luck with whatever you decide

Wish I had known this during our rough period, I would have packed us up in a heart beat.....I love the cuisine, and my wife has been screaming about going to se asia.

reply to post by rbnhd76


I appreciate you, that did me well, as my situation is not very good right now too, it's so amazing how much love you see here on ATS, as long as it seems your being honest, people can tell, really. Those who serve the higher purpose know before most do,

Please let's do our best to help save this man, as he may save us or another one day in the future! I wanted to write a post like this a month ago but feared the many troll that would help load the chamber, SHAME ON YOU!!

If you ever come to AK OP, you send me a private message, I'll welcome you with a hot meal and a warm place to stay, good luck brother!

Much Love

Originally posted by Akragon
reply to post by AwakeinNM

 

Seriously man!!

Have Hope... life is a test... one that you can pass but you have to be strong.. not physically... but your heart must be strong to overcome!!

Damn i sound like a hippy...

i actually firmly believe in this statement
life is full of hard trials that as humans we each need to overcome and figure what the point of that trial was
and @op i understand things must be hard and the fight or flight response kicks in but even in bad times good things can happen
i dont wanna sound like a complete Tool but running from your kids and circumstances is only gonna cause you more pain in the future with kids etc
where as standing your ground at least shows to not only you kids but to the rest of the world even when life is unbearabley tough
you have the strengh and focus to bear it out in even the most adverse of situations
of course its easy for me to sit here and type this and im sure i could possibley get a few members saying GTFO or STFU your new here what do you know

all i can say to you op is look inside yourself and look hard as you will find the strengh to overcome this situation and i personally believe that if you left it would do more harm than good cos your allways gona be wondering what ifs

lifes to short for what ifs

good luck on whatever choice you make o.p and never let life drag you down

So you can't find a job, you're getting a divorce and leaving your kids like a coward? These are your kids and you need to have a responsibility to be a responsible fathe regardless of your wife. I grew up not ever knowing or ever seeing my father. I understand you want a change in America's economic collapse but there are states that have jobs but you cannot leave your kids out of your life forever. If you do leave them, I hope you have the worse trip in your life.

reply to post by pointr97


Holy cow, I didn't plan on going THAT far. Although, I do have a friend in Thailand....

reply to post by AwakeinNM


You will be very surprised at what you find within yourself having to go through a separation and divorce, so please do not state as fact already that you could not do it. You can and you will.

You have a simple choice, to drop the ball and lay there crying about it.. OR.. get back up, pick up the ball and keep going. These are the only two choices you have.. so make it a wise decision you make.

When life goes A-up on you, and those who you relied upon for your comfort zone leave you to your own devices.. that is the exact moment to start finding the strength within you. It is the exact time that Life OFFERS you the opportunities to GROW, Learn about Who You are Now and get on with building the Life you want to have from there on.

So forget the weakness you Believe you have, and find the Man within who will keep going with the ball no matter what Life throws at you.

Originally posted by anthonygillespie2012
So you can't find a job, you're getting a divorce and leaving your kids like a coward? These are your kids and you need to find a responsibility to be a responsible father. I grew up not ever knowing or ever seeing my father. I understand you want a change in America's economic collapse but there are states that have jobs and a new opportunity but you cannot leave your kids out of your life.

I don't want to leave them, believe me. Either way, my wife is moving out of state so I won't see them anyway.

My mother disappeared out of our lives. The repercussions continue for all of us, 20 years later.

Is that really want you want to do to your kids? If so, maybe they're better off without you.

But I think it makes you a coward.

reply to post by anthonygillespie2012


Calling him or his actions cowardly is not a way to ensure hope or love in a fellow man. I mean wtf, have you been in this position before? be a little more supportive of someone in dire trouble rather than say he's a .......

If I was I mod I would delete your post, just saying..it doest help.. You must have it nice and a good life to be calling or aiming negativity at someone who's asking for advice..

I'll pray for you as well. Give him some slack, you should at least know his place before judging who he is, for all you know he might actually be stronger than you, in ways you don't understand.

Btw, His new action may save the relationship of his family, how the hell do you guys know, calling him a coward, and in your lives you have never been, think real hard before answering that.. Some people, dudes let's help him rather than bash him for having a hard time in his life, no wonder this world is in such bad shape..

Move state with her Dude.....follow her.

My situation was very simular in many ways oonly two years ago. I even lived in a bloody tent for 5 months....no joke. I found the best way was to move state....where she was. I'm not with her any more and things have worked out for the best. I get to see my children when I want (I work away at a mine, used to fly for a living, was a test pilot!). Things will get better mate, it's tough at the start and you feel like you have limited choices, but believe me, it's actualy a new start. View it from that point of view and it starts to become slightly more understandable.

It will be ok, it will work out. Just believe in yourself. You have taken the first step. Take care mate.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM

Originally posted by anthonygillespie2012
So you can't find a job, you're getting a divorce and leaving your kids like a coward? These are your kids and you need to find a responsibility to be a responsible father. I grew up not ever knowing or ever seeing my father. I understand you want a change in America's economic collapse but there are states that have jobs and a new opportunity but you cannot leave your kids out of your life.

I don't want to leave them, believe me. Either way, my wife is moving out of state so I won't see them anyway.

It doesn't matter if she's in another state they are your children!!!! You can arrange this in court. She cannot take them away from you as you have a right to be there father .

reply to post by AwakeinNM


May I suggest you grab a towel and a good stiff drink.

reply to post by anthonygillespie2012

It doesn't matter if she's in another state they are your children!!!! You can arrange this in court. She cannot take them away from you as you have a right to be there father

too true dude, and all the rest that goes with it. She just can't decide what is right, you have as much rights as she does.

reply to post by AK907ICECOLD


Agree with this completely, unless you have walked in his shoes and lived his life, you honestly don't know anything and shouldn't even consider giving advice in a situation like this. There are no black and whites to this, when the world is crashing around you and you don't have a dollar to your name to keep the roof up, it is all fog and grey.

People that tell others standing on the ledge to just buck up and stop being a coward end up having to clean up a mess. I can seriously say I KNOW what the OP is thinking, and no it is not rational from a point of view, but it sure as hell seems like a rational decision giving the stresses on the situation.

A. Wife is not giving in and will not stay around

B. OP has exhausted all his options to provide for his family (worst feeling a man can have)

C. Can't bare the thought of watching his loved kids grow up in a world he is not allowed to be a part of....

Sorry gang, I would want to check out of society to and get a bear and live on a mountain side.....Sorry, just me, because I understand his point of view. Hell, for those that haven't experienced it, you have at least seen a dozen movies with that point in it......you never answered OP, what region are you currently located?

Originally posted by chr0naut
reply to post by AwakeinNM

 

May I suggest you grab a towel and a good stiff drink.

And for the love of God, Don't Panic.

Originally posted by AK907ICECOLD
reply to post by anthonygillespie2012

 

Calling him or his actions cowardly is not a way to ensure hope or love in a fellow man. I mean wtf, have you been in this position before? be a little more supportive of someone in dire trouble rather than say he's a .......

If I was I mod I would delete your post, just saying..it doest help.. You must have it nice and a good life to be calling or aiming negativity at someone who's asking for advice..

I'll pray for you as well. Give him some slack, you should at least know his place before judging who he is, for all you know he might actually be stronger than you, in ways you blah blah blah

Btw, His new action may save the relationship of his family, how the hell do you guys know, calling him a coward, and in your lives you have never been, think real hard before answering that.. Some people, dudes let's help him rather than bash him for having a hard time in his life, no wonder this world is in such bad shape..

edit on 16-1-2012 by AK907ICECOLD because: Added love, n more love

edit on 16-1-2012 by AK907ICECOLD because: (no reason given)

And if I was a mod I would delete your post. Let me ask you this Mr. 'Proud Alaskan'' ever heard of tough love?

What if he leaves his daughters forever and say something bad happens to there mother and his daughters need him at any moment in their life because they wished he was around , your saying this is ok? What if the mother has some of problem and the state government has to take care of his children because He was never there, this is okay?

Ok. this is a really hard subject and I think we should stick to good advice rather than judge each other on our posts. He needs good advice right now. Get your thinking caps on guys/Gals. Having been in simular situation I know what it feels like. Give yourselves and this chap a break.......he needs it.


Good advice only people.