The Real Truth About Breast Cancer

Hello,

Thank you for posting this thread. I appreciate your candor and the courage you have shown in telling it like it is, not like it's "supposed" to be.

You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are who you were meant to be.

I am glad to hear you have a support system of loving and caring people at home.

A thought crossed my mind: maybe you felt compelled to post here to test the waters for telling your story to others in real life?

Either way, I am glad you took the time to write out your experiences. They are important and they are truth.

Take care.

Thankyou for sharing your story


Although I can't relate to having cancer, I get what you're saying about the hero / mother theresa stories. My body has changed dramtatically as well. You lose everything that the normal body you once had provided. It's not something others can truly understand.

I'm paralised, can't walk or have sex. I get so put off by all the stories of inspiration others think I should behave like. I feel like I try my best, but it isn't enough to others, it's like I should take up skiing, win an olympic medal or wheel my chair across canada, write a book about it, go on oprah and then they can all be impressed. You are expected to have a positive outlook at all times. If you can't be that way you're a faliure in their eyes. Thats how I feel anyways.

That feeling of failing only causes more depressive thoughts.

Last week my daiughter informed me it's not good she comes to help me that she was told (by some heartless able-bodied interfering person) that I should be left home all alone, that anyone helping me are enablers.

I'm sorry don't have any inspirational advice to offer you. I'm looking for some myself

To the OP what a post. Maybe writing should be your new career?
I am not going to say to the OP or anyone else going through this 'I know how you feel' because I don't. But at 61 and not as fit as I should be, I am increasingly aware of my own mortality.
Thoughts, prayers and good luck wishes for everyone going through this x

Bloody hell, I read both opening posts. What a story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I'm just going to agree with you--flat out. Breast cancer bites. Cancer bites. And I'm just going to let you have your feelings and not try to rosy it up and say, "It'll be okay...."

It's not okay, I know. Go ahead and be mad---and I know what you mean about the Martha Stewart attitude. We're all expected to put on our Girl Scout uniforms and trudge through our experiences with a smile and a pink ribbon.

My best friend died of breast cancer a few years ago. I went through the whole thing with her--from beginning to end. She, too, was young. She had four children. She was such a special person. And she went through the whole thing like a trooper, with such optimism, and in the end it still killed her. Cancer doesn't care if you're brave or not.

What really makes me feel badly about your post is how wonderfully everything was going along----school, new job..... But I do believe the same attitude in which you accomplished those remarkable things has gotten you past this latest hurdle. And you will rise again! Once you feel better---like some sort of semblence of your old self--- you will find another job and get back to where you need to be.

Life isn't fair. I've given up trying to understand it all.

But you have a lot to be proud of...your family, your intelligence, your strength. You'll get back there, OP. I look forward to an update.

People here's some advice. "liferegenerator" on youtube.

reply to post by violet


My heart truly goes out to you. Thank you for sharing part of your story with me. And know this, you have earned a special place in my heart simply for your honesty. Sometimes we can not smile through the turmoil and heartache and to me, that is just fine. I can be mad, and angry and pissed off and still be thankful for all of the wonderful things in my life. And I am.

reply to post by violet


Here's what you tell your daughter: "Daughter, I love you. The other person doesn't know anything about us and does not love you or me or our family. We are a family, and families take care of one another. Don't worry about what other people think or say, they are speaking from their own experiences and perspective, and do not understand anything about our situation other than what they can see on the surface."

Enabling? Really? What nerve.

reply to post by FIFIGI


Just the fact that people are actually reading my "wall of text" is amazing to me. I have seen so many good threads simply go by the way-side because they were too long. I had that fear when I first started typing out my story. I feel honored to be heard. Thank you.

reply to post by MRuss


I'm so sorry that you lost your friend. And you are right, cancer doesn't care if you are brave. It doesn't care if you are 1 or 100, and it doesn't care if you have a smile on your face the whole damn time. I have had so many people tell me "you have to stay positive" Oh I'm positive all right, I'm positive that this crap sucks!!

I don't look like I'm on stage at a Miss America contest, I look like a warrior screaming a battle cry.

reply to post by newsoul


You've got a husband that loves you...you've got a son that loves you...To heck with reconstructive surgery. Spend the recovery process with friends and family doing something nice.

Drink plenty of essiac tea.

Originally posted by ottobot
reply to post by violet

 

Here's what you tell your daughter: "Daughter, I love you. The other person doesn't know anything about us and does not love you or me or our family. We are a family, and families take care of one another. Don't worry about what other people think or say, they are speaking from their own experiences and perspective, and do not understand anything about our situation other than what they can see on the surface."

Enabling? Really? What nerve.

Thankyou. I wish I'd thought to say that. I only thought that.

Originally posted by newsoul
reply to post by violet

 

My heart truly goes out to you. Thank you for sharing part of your story with me. And know this, you have earned a special place in my heart simply for your honesty. Sometimes we can not smile through the turmoil and heartache and to me, that is just fine. I can be mad, and angry and pissed off and still be thankful for all of the wonderful things in my life. And I am.

Thankyou for your kind words.
I hope one day both of us can look back at this and be in a better state of mind.

There comes a time in our lives when we need to be warriors in order to cope with all the changes and challenges that we face. Sometimes we are just so tired of battling and become overwhelmed. For all of us who are suffering in any way, know that we are not alone.