Trust me when i say i know exactly where you are coming from.
I had a profound religious experience in 2005 and for 3/4 years i was convinced i was a messiah or antichrist for this world. It is only after much counseling and self study regarding a psychological condition called the messiah complex that in fact i realized that i was not alone in my thinking.
There are many people who firmly believe they are special and believe that they have some form of divine power or knowledge or understanding.
I personally felt what i felt based on my love and compassion for a world i felt was deeply suffering.
When we get to an extremely low point in our lives many of us turn to our own understanding of god.
We reach out because in our hopelessness of the world around us we seek hope in god's word.
The same applies with believing the opposite of god. When we are vulnerable it is easy to adopt, and i say this with due consideration, a delusion which gives us something to believe in allowing us to escape the reality that our world around us is failing. It is a place for the mind to find solace.
We must however be very careful with what we believe. For me personally i fought an inner battle for many years since my psychotic break in 2005 and i was aware that i had developed schizophrenic tendencies. I had periods where i thought i was one with the world and that i had a direct path of communication not only to god but also aliens who at the time i considered to be Satan.
I struggled with my own inner daemons, reaching out to those around me one minute with tenderness and love only to be rejected thus leading me to becoming the complete opposite, holding contempt for my fellow humans.
It was a struggle within in which i battled with my own identity as a messiah and antichrist figure.
When we see the world around us and we feel despair and depression our heart chords are plucked and we become so emotionally entangled that we fall deep into the abyss of depression. Some never come out and some do.
From what you have wrote i can see many schizophrenic traits. The convoluted and diluted messages jumping from one form of thought to another. Please remember i am not judging you i am only sharing my experiences and thoughts with you.
If you are ever in doubt ask yourself this. The antichrist will be, according to religion, a man of lying signs and wonders, he will have divine powers which will allow him to perform miracles such as making a stone statue come to life and talk. Do you have a concrete power that separates you from your brothers and sisters. An ability or super power? If you answer no then it is likely that you are under your own illusion. Sometimes we need to be strong and address that from which we escape. We need to stand firm and realize that we have created a world so as not to deal with the very hard things before us.
If you ever wish to speak i will be here for you.
To the other posters i urge caution in what you say to this person. If he is experiencing some form of psychosis your harsh words will do him more damage than good.
Peace and blessings
edit on 15-1-2012 by Oxygenation because: (no reason given)
