I watched my best friend from junior-high become a mult-millionair. We still are friends but I am afraid that I must feed ration our friendship in
order to keep the relationship healthy.
Briefly, he graduated from university, used the money from his salary and made his fortune with smart investments and trade. He is a
multi-millionnaire and is enjoying a lovely and happy family with two kids.
I am his best friend he says but my ego, pride, modesty is too often activated to keep the friendship going.
How many times can somebody except a free holiday on Aruba? He does understand that if he will not pay our leisure bills nobody would.....He pays them
because he appreciates my friendship and company but, a little exaggerated..... I do not want to be the paid entertainer.
There are situations where it is easy to accept the gift and be practical and rational about it but after a while it becomes routine. The danger lies
when the expecting is creeping into your system. The gift is not longer a gift or surprise but something you expect. I am afraid that I will change
into a morally twisted person.
I want to pay my own bills from time to time and pay for his when it is my turn. But that is just the thing....8 out of 10 I can not pay for his bill.
We talked about that and he told me that it is all up to me when I want to pay a bill for him ........not the carribean-bill but the "when we go for
something to eat from the hotdog-stand-bill" ....for example.
Now how ackward is that...? That isn't a genuine, healthy and spontanious relationship. He made the suggestion to me that I shouldn't worry too much
and that he is happy if he can help me with bills. Pay for fun-time when he wants to be with his best friend.
But that gives me the feel of being a regulated, tolerated and acceptable freeloader and also have the chance other people can mistake me for one of
the above. My friends intensions are honest and not meant to insult me and fortunately enough he understands my dilemma.
But what to do...? Would it be acceptable that I will take the final ruling when such financial matters are in play? He and I could be in eachothers
company until the end of time but for the money reason (and what it means to my personal values) we can not do the all the adventures we would like to
do. In a way that sucks.
It is strange all together...did you ever hear of not being able to do something fun because there is too much money?
Anyways...we have all met the situation when you are dependable on the other friends monnies. Although the honest and paying friend doesn't mind it
doesn't feel right when he buys you the fourth beer. You guys can imagine what I try to say?
Anybody a simular experiance and found a sensible way out without being stupid or losing the friendship?
Should there not be a chinese maxim for such a situation? Is such a friendship viable anyway?
Or should money maybe be considered mere a means to an end and try not to think any further about it?
Do you guys have any opinions or feelings about what I just tried to explain?
edit on 13/1/2012 by zatara because: (no reason given)