Should we blame the parents for not "being a parent" and putting their kid on the "babysitter pill"??? I think so. If you spread your legs to have kids then you should be a man or woman enough to guide them through life and teach them wrongs and rights

I do not think that TRUE ADHD has anything to do with parenting. I had ADD as a child but was never medicated. I was in the gifted program but struggled to keep up. I graduated from college (took me 7 years) and then went on to get my Masters which took me only 2. Had my parents put me on Ritalin I would have had a much easier life and made much better decisions.
At the age of 35 I started taking Ritalin because I had 4 children that I wanted to be a role model to and I didn't want them to see me unable to follow through on things. It changed my life and I wish that I had started taking it when I was in elementary school. A 3 month prescription lasts me a year so that should tell you that I am trying to train my brain to focus without the medication.
I had VERY strict parents who did not believe that a pill was a solution. They gave me every possible resource to do the best I could, including footing the bill for my 10 year college experience. I knew right from wrong but with ADD/ADHD, even though you KNOW you need to do something, even if you have the BEST of intentions and start off highly motivated, you just cannot bring yourself to do what needs to be done. You beat yourself up and it messes with your self-esteem. It is HORRIBLE.
I believe that there is a huge ADD/ADHD epidemic right now, but for those that really suffer from it, medication is necessary. I would NEVER want my children to go through what I went through as a child if I could avoid it, and if that means that if they need to be medicated, well then, after eliminating all other options, I would do it.
Too many parents are giving their children meds just to make their job easier and I clearly think that is wrong. However, unless you have been in the mind of an ADHD'er, there is no way that you can understand how difficult it is.

Jemison


When I started taking medication I did not tell my parents although I am exceedingly close to them. Eventually, after they were so shocked and surprised at my 'life transformation' and organizational skills, I told them. My Mother now feels guilty that she was so adament about not putting me on medication and that I had to struggle needlessly. I told her not to worry, it gave me lots of charachter.


[edit on 12-9-2004 by Jemison]

Jemison

Great to hear from someone who knows what they are taking about through experience of their own. There are a lot of kids and adults out there who are misdiagnosed and it makes it hard for the genuine cases to be taken seriously. We give these drugs to our children as a last resort but some people are too ignorant to understand this.

This theory just doesn't account for the good parents who have kids with real problems - sorry. These cases do exist.

The mystery of all this seemingly epidemic of problems needs to be addressed, but simply blaming bad parenting is shallow and doesn't cut it (though admittedly, bad parenting contributes to a lot of problems).

But may I point out that ADD is not the only thing that is on a major upswing. There is also a serious increase during this time frame in all kinds of immune disorders, chemical and hormonal imbalances, etc (that have nothing to do with children and their caregivers). My guess is this is all related.

Originally posted by Relentless
My guess is this is all related.

I agree.....I think it's a combination of many things in our society today!

We give these drugs to our children as a last resort but some people are too ignorant to understand this.

Yes and No. Sadly, there are some parents who have jumped on the ritalin/concerta/strattera bandwagon just because their children became spirited or rebellious. Not to mention, some Doctors seem to really push the meds when they shouldn't. But, now that more people are aware of ADHD, there is not a stigma that goes with the medication the way that there was when I was a child.

Sometimes I find that the people that are so against medications and are screaming the loudest opposing them are jealous/frustrated because their own lives are not perfect and there is no 'magic pill' that can help them with whatever it is that is eating away at them. While they are suffering they accuse those who have been diagnosed and taking meds as 'taking the easy way out'. I have found this to be true with many people I know. Something to think about!

Jemison

Also I will be the first to say it you need to spank their behinds once in awhile!!! That is EFFECTIVE parenting

I can tell you that I got spanked frequently and the only thing it did for me, as a child with ADHD, was make me more sneaky but most of the time it didn't even do that. Not ONCE did it eliminate the behavior. Spanking DOES NOT WORK for a child with ADHD. When you have NO impulse control you are not able to say 'hmmm, if I do behavior X I'm going to get spanked so I better not do it'. Anyone who thinks that spanking will help a child with ADHD has absolutely NO concept of what ADHD is.

Jemison


[edit on 12-9-2004 by Jemison]

There are people who truly need the medication-

ut the prolem we have is in large part due to people thinking children should always sit still and never talk.
there is this trend to immediately think something is wrong when your kid cries aout a toy or gets impatient while you try on clothes for 20 minutes- they are are a child, they aren't meant to act good all the time.

Unfortunately, I have seen documentaries a few times on single mothers in poor southern states who have their children diagnosed ADD so that they can collect more welfare money. There are many women with 4-5 kids who don't work and live off of that funding, so they collect higher checks and sell off the ritalin many times, not to mention how depressing it must feel to e so worthless to society- they proaly enjoy their children eing drugged.
I have nothing against single mothers, I am one, ut I also contriute to society rather than leeching off of it.

You definately can't always place lame on the parents- how would you explain things like my sister with two sons a year apart- one is an angel, calm, quiet, patient and the other is constantly running in circles and screaming... same people are raising them, same home, same daycare and everything. Most people who even think to lame the parents either don't have kids or were lucky enough to have easy ones.
Not to mention, everyone who interacts with a child helps form them- if you aren't a good part of society- than the children are your fault when they don't act right and if you are rude or inconsiderate- you have no right to complain when they follow suit. For some reason there are many people who think they can call a child names for misehaving and never look at themselves...

(please excuse some typo's, my letter that comes after "a" doesn't work)

i guess im just tired of seeing the same lady come to my pharmacy window picking up her childrens ritalin prescriptions yes thats a s 3 kids all on it!!!! what are the chances right???? so the older 2 sit on in my lobby and wait for me to fill the prescriptions eating a snicker bar apiece and drinking a 1 liter pepsi each and the younger one has a sucker in in one hand a a piece of licorice in the other............. hmmmmm effective diagnosing???? effective parenting???? or lack of both!!!! you decide........ yes there are kids with problems but i would say only about 10% or less of the total ritalin population.......... the other 90% need their parents to grow up and be just that PARENTS

the prolem we have is in large part due to people thinking children should always sit still and never talk.

Don't you think that 50 years ago it was worse? They had the 'children should be seen but not heard' mentality. Now parents allow their children to express themselves much more than they did even 20 years ago. Maybe that is part of the problem ... parents are letting their children act out without consequence and then when the child hits school age all of a sudden they have to be taught how to control themselves. This could explain how children might be labeled with ADHD when they aren't.

You definately can't always place lame on the parents- how would you explain things like my sister with two sons a year apart- one is an angel, calm, quiet, patient and the other is constantly running in circles and screaming... same people are raising them, same home, same daycare and everything. Most people who even think to lame the parents either don't have kids or were lucky enough to have easy ones.

I agree. I have 4 children and they are all very different from one another and have been since birth. My 6 year old and 4 year old are like night and day. One is high strung, has low frustration tolerance, a perfectionist and a pessimest, the other is positive, out going, sensitive and an eternal optimist. My 3 year old identical twins are somewhere in the middle, and so far, they both have identical personalities but I know that might change. My children definitly were born with certain characteristics and as babies I could tell who would be difficult and who would be easy. I have always had the luxory of being able to be a stay at home Mom so none of my children were exposed to day care or babysitters that could have influenced/formed them.

The good thing about ADHD medication is that it either works or it doesn't. If a child has ADHD medication will work ... it might take a while to find the right one or the right dosage, but you will see a noticiable difference. In non ADHD children, the medication will NOT work and will cause more problems so it's clear that the child should be taken off the meds and a different diagnosis should be made.

Jemison

Originally posted by ilovehaters
so the older 2 sit on in my lobby and wait for me to fill the prescriptions eating a snicker bar apiece and drinking a 1 liter pepsi each and the younger one has a sucker in in one hand a a piece of licorice in the other............. hmmmmm effective diagnosing???? effective parenting???? or lack of both!!!!

Now there's a legitimate example of what you are trying to say, but surely not all the parents picking up ritalin are behaving this way.

As for the sugar/caffeine, etc., I do have an issue with it being loaded into kids myself, but I have been soundly corrected by someone who told me one of the parenting magazines has pronounced the sugar reaction in childrens behavior to be a myth. ( I personally feel that magazine should be sued - no joke).

LadyV is right about what parents are letting their kids ingest, but when suppossedly authoritative sources are so negligent on these issues and often misleading can you blame the parents entirely for being mislead and misinformed? I'm not making excuses for all the parents who get something wrong, I think I am just being realistic, there is too much misinformation out there about what is safe and what is detrimental and how many parents of young children have time for the research to get to the truth?

I personally place the heavier burden on the gov't. They have allowed way too many chemicals, hormones and other forms of adulteration into our food supply. Something as basic as milk, that has always been encouraged as the number 1 healthy think for kids - hahahaha. Unless it is organic - which is pretty expensive, no one should be touching it. Take out the fat, but load it up with hormones and antibiotics and all the byproducts of those two and drink up - what a joke.

I am of the opinion that this is the root of probably more than half of what is wrong with children & adults suffering rampantly from an increase in all kinds of disorders - the adulteration of our food supply (and water for that matter). One of these days I will get around to researching this properly, but for now I stand by a theory.

Hey - it might even explain why there are so many less than perfect parents these days, we're all wigged out on the stuff.

Originally posted by Relentless

Originally posted by ilovehaters
so the older 2 sit on in my lobby and wait for me to fill the prescriptions eating a snicker bar apiece and drinking a 1 liter pepsi each and the younger one has a sucker in in one hand a a piece of licorice in the other............. hmmmmm effective diagnosing???? effective parenting???? or lack of both!!!!

Now there's a legitimate example of what you are trying to say, but surely not all the parents picking up ritalin are behaving this way.

As for the sugar/caffeine, etc., I do have an issue with it being loaded into kids myself, but I have been soundly corrected by someone who told me one of the parenting magazines has pronounced the sugar reaction in childrens behavior to be a myth. ( I personally feel that magazine should be sued - no joke).

LadyV is right about what parents are letting their kids ingest, but when suppossedly authoritative sources are so negligent on these issues and often misleading can you blame the parents entirely for being mislead and misinformed? I'm not making excuses for all the parents who get something wrong, I think I am just being realistic, there is too much misinformation out there about what is safe and what is detrimental and how many parents of young children have time for the research to get to the truth?

I personally place the heavier burden on the gov't. They have allowed way too many chemicals, hormones and other forms of adulteration into our food supply. Something as basic as milk, that has always been encouraged as the number 1 healthy think for kids - hahahaha. Unless it is organic - which is pretty expensive, no one should be touching it. Take out the fat, but load it up with hormones and antibiotics and all the byproducts of those two and drink up - what a joke.

I am of the opinion that this is the root of probably more than half of what is wrong with children & adults suffering rampantly from an increase in all kinds of disorders - the adulteration of our food supply (and water for that matter). One of these days I will get around to researching this properly, but for now I stand by a theory.

Hey - it might even explain why there are so many less than perfect parents these days, we're all wigged out on the stuff.

You got that right, look at the FDA... Which is pretty much "Paid off" by Corperate America to poison us.. I mean check out how they approve pharmaceuticals anyway. Unless they can reach a "Toxic " level in Humans, it will never get past phase One trials.. So, basically the only drugs to ever hit the market are those that "They" (the government controlled FDA) KNOW will kill us, or at the very least poison us into submission.

guess im just tired of seeing the same lady come to my pharmacy window picking up her childrens ritalin prescriptions yes thats a s 3 kids all on it!!!! what are the chances right???? so the older 2 sit on in my lobby and wait for me to fill the prescriptions eating a snicker bar apiece and drinking a 1 liter pepsi each and the younger one has a sucker in in one hand a a piece of licorice in the other............. hmmmmm effective diagnosing???? effective parenting???? or lack of both!!!!

I can see how that would make you question the Mom. Based on the idea that sugar consumption causes hyperactivity you would assume that the Mom would wipe the sugar out of her childrens diet.

As for the sugar/caffeine, etc., I do have an issue with it being loaded into kids myself, but I have been soundly corrected by someone who told me one of the parenting magazines has pronounced the sugar reaction in childrens behavior to be a myth. ( I personally feel that magazine should be sued - no joke).

I don't know what to believe on this matter. I have read articles that sugar causing hyperactivity is a myth and personally, I know that when I have sugar it does not make me more hyperactive. I limit the amount of sweets I give my children because I think it's the right thing to do. When they are at home and get a large suger laden special treat I do not notice an increase in hyperactivity. When they are at a birthday party I do see an increase in hyperactivity but it starts BEFORE they have sugar and is due to the excitement of the situation, NOT the cake and ice cream.

Bottom line, excessive sugar consumption is not good for anyone and can lead to many health problems most notably obesity, but I tend to agree with the studies that say there is NO link between sugar and hyperactivity.

Jemison

I'm a classic case of ADD/ADHD and all I can say is that I will NEVER take meds - haven't for years (not even asparin) and certainly won't in the future. I follow a strict diet that excludes dairy, preservatives and most processed food and I'm fine...little scatter-brained and ofter referred to as "weird" but I'm just fine

I'm glad that works for you. It did not work for me. Maybe your ADD is not as severe as what mine is/was. I was on a strict diet all through my childhood and teen years and it didn't do a lick of good for me and my ability to focus. Rather than put me on medication the Doctors told my parents to get me involved in a sport of some type. I was very involved in dance and was doing it professionally by the time I was 15. Yes, it kept me out of trouble, and it kept me tired so that I wasn't physically as hyperactive, but it did not help my ability to focus mentally. It did nothing to help my studies or help me stay focused on what the teacher was saying in class.

I take Ritalin and it helps me. It does not make me speedy, as a matter of fact it actually makes me a tad sleepy. I am able to concentrate on something for longer than 3 minutes and it has made a huge difference in my life.

Just because something isn't right for you doesn't mean it isn't right for others.

It also bothers me that parents are willing to put their kids on amphetamines!!!! That's madness!!! Do you know what amphetamines do to the brains receptors???

For any parent that gives a damn about their children, putting them on medication of any kind is a VERY difficult decision. It isn't taken lightly and there is a lot of emotions involved. I think it is wrong for you to be so judgemental. If you won't even take aspirin you are obviously pretty extreme in your thoughts on medication. I have to wonder what your thoughts are when diabetics take insulin, depressed people take anti-depressants, etc.

Jemison

Your arguments are much better construed in this. I can see it from your perspective now. I too would become jaded at seeing unruly children being put on meds, only to make them complacent, or for mom to collect a check.

I also agree sugar and caffeine make you zippy. In fact the Atmins diet supports this. I know personally on the Atkins Diet excluding carbohydrates I was less zippy and able to sleep easier.

The bad problem, is that no matter how hard I try if I find a subject boring, my mind does not want to wrap around it and focus. Damn I try, I try so hard. Yet it proves, futile. The only things that seem not to apply are ever changing fast stimuli, and subjects that absolutely fascinate me.

One theory, I have thought of is on subjects that I can concentrate on, the fascinating ones, I am almost undestractable. Which leads me to believe that I am self-hypnotizing. Maybe self-hypnosis is an answer to overcoming the focus and distractability, of ADHD.

I just can't stay on the single thought long enough, to self-hypnotize. I can seem to do it if I'm reading, or playing a video game, but if I were to just sit down and think about meditating, or reaching that alpha state of hypnosis, poof I'm on another topic in my mind. Like ooooohhhhhhmmmm...
meditating...ooohhhhhhmmmmm, oooh star treks on in an hour!

Just my thoughts,

-ADHDsux4me

Originally posted by Jemison

Don't you think that 50 years ago it was worse? They had the 'children should be seen but not heard' mentality. Now parents allow their children to express themselves much more than they did even 20 years ago. Maybe that is part of the problem ... parents are letting their children act out without consequence and then when the child hits school age all of a sudden they have to be taught how to control themselves. This could explain how children might be labeled with ADHD when they aren't.

At that time though, people also realized that children needed to get out and play too- they would do this wonderful thing where the children would go out into the yard and run, jump, swing and whatever else, now people want them to sit all day, do homework all evening and go to sleep-

There is no fun time, there isn't a "time to act good" and "time to play"-
there is only time to do work. Even long ago work involved physical activity to get that energy out, now it doesn't. I don't think it's completely that parents are letting kids act out, just that there isn't a set time to act like a kid.

The good thing about ADHD medication is that it either works or it doesn't. If a child has ADHD medication will work ... it might take a while to find the right one or the right dosage, but you will see a noticiable difference. In non ADHD children, the medication will NOT work and will cause more problems so it's clear that the child should be taken off the meds and a different diagnosis should be made.
Jemison

I grew up with many people in ritalin who later figured out (in their teens mostly) that all of the issues they were having were from the drug, noone figured it out until later- so noone is really checking up on the kids once it is given out.

I also dated someone for five years- He was on ritalin and an anti-depressant for close to 10 years when he switched doctors and the new guy told him the doses were so low the medicine was having no real effect on him.
I think there are plenty of kids out there getting the placeo effect from these drugs and aren't truly ADD/ADHD.

It was sort of funny ecause he was one of those people who couldn't concentrate or do anything, and took his little pill and suddenly would tell people that all he could do was concentrate on work and that it deaded all his emotions... (interesting guy...)

If mom says, "take this pill and it will make you calm down" the kid is going to elieve her and calm down when he takes it.